Why do some people love to debate?

Certain personality types enjoy rousing, stimulating, thought provoking, discussions. Usually the more extroverted types and those with a natural inclination to be curious and of an inquiring mindset.

That’s all well and good, but…not if your main motivation is to be right at the expense of others feelings and opinions.

Then it becomes arrogant and of an egocentric motivation not a true desire to learn, share and grow from an exchange.

A good debate/discussion allows everyone else their opinions and thoughts as well, without the need to dismiss or humiliate others.

True debate is not just about being on the trigger, ready to fire the next bullet at your opponent, it is about LISTENING and having the humility to be open to the FACT that often, there are many truths and for every truth there is also an equal and opposite truth.

For me it depends on the person. If you are “debating” with someone who is not humanly capable of conceding a point, or admitting that they missed something than it’s no fun at all. If you can get in a good debate with someone who is intellectually mature enough to do so than it’s a blast.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

@digitalimpression I agree. I don’t like to argue. I don’t like to fight. I like to discuss. It seems like a huge difference, but some people do seem to like to argue. They like to just prove that they’re right and you’re wrong. I know that there are plenty of people on Fluther that like to debate, so I was hoping others like you and I could weigh in and help me understand why it’s so damn fun. :)

@Coloma Far out.

@ANef_is_Enuf I’ve had many a “debate” with people recently in which they simply refused to agree to disagree. It’s infuriating! The type of people who must have the last word or must emerge the victor from a discussion are not productive or useful in a discussion. The sad part is, they can be super intelligent, but their ego prevents them from displaying that intelligence.

Don’t get me wrong, I won’t claim to be perfect on this count either. I’ve had my fair share of adolescent outbursts.

I spent the day yesterday with my most esoteric “out there” friend. lol
He and I can go on for HOURS, but…we are both open to concession, respect, and are always taking to heart the others POV.

He always tells me that he learns so much from me and vice versa. I have truly met my match with this person, two highly energetic individuals that make some beautiful and opening intellectual music together.

We are also fully open and give each other permission to call each other on any shit. haha

We always come back to the same conclusion…EVERYTHING retains a ” maybe.” ;-)

I like to learn stuff, but I also like the confrontation. The confrontation itself is a learning experience as well. For example, I’ve learned it’s not always the best policy to be snide or sarcastic. If you really want to help the other person understand your point of view, appearing rude isn’t going to help. I used to think it was more fun that way, but then sometimes you realize you’re being a douche.

It’s a way to learn how to handle yourself in future debates, learning how or when to be a certain way when debating with different people.

I find small talk meaningless. I just think it’s nice to talk about things that actually matter.

I think whether you like to or not also depends on what kind of environment you grew up in. If discussion with differing points of view was encouraged, that’s a wonderful thing, and you can learn a lot about and from intelligent exchange, even if it gets heated. If you were in an environment where only one person’s agenda was permitted, the desire to discuss can be quickly squelched in a young person, and that seriously sucks. Having to learn how later in life is hard.

I’d like to say that it’s because people like to learn other perspectives, but I think that realistically it’s usually because people want other people to learn their perspectives. Not that the latter is necessarily a bad thing. It gives you an opportunity to actually be heard about something you’re passionate about, and I guess it appeals to the desire to be confrontational without stepping out of line.

It helps expand your knowledge and provides an excellent way to exercise the brain. There is a theory that brain exercise helps keep us young.

It’s interesting because I love to debate, yet I grew up in a house almost devoid of debate. I almost never debated with friends or family; it was online where I could do that and I got hooked on it.

And I hate to say it, but it’s fun to be right, it’s fun to be able to defend your opinions, it’s fun to see that your ideas are supported by others and backed up by research, statistics, philosophy, etc.

And there is a very fine line between debating and arguing…

I can’t really debate any of the rednecks that surround me except for politics. Personally I prefer discussing philosophical topics compared to debating politics. I guess that is why I blog since it is the only way I can connect with different types of people I normally would have no contact with. I’ve come to realize that for the most part you can’t win a debate but when I do I prefer to do this face to face. I don’t enjoy strong debate online.

I really don’t know why, but I love it. It’s so stimulating, it’s almost like your brain is on fire in a good way ;).

I didn’t grow up in a debating family, at all. What my grandfather said, went. No one dared to disagree with him, except me. Got me in a fair amount of trouble as a teenager, but I didn’t let that stop me. I think it had to do with confronting what I saw as injustice (he was quite a bigot), initially. Maybe the adrenalin rush of calling him on it got me hooked on debate in general.

Civilized, respectful debating builds intimacy among those involved.

@ANef_is_Enuf Like you, my childhood included frequent discussions of current affairs and politics around the dinner table, or when relaxing for the evening. I love debate so long as the people engaged in it are willing to, and capable of being intellectually honest. I do not like to listen to an endless series of logical fallacies used to cling to a position that is not supported by facts, simply by an individual’s beliefs.

Good debating sharpens the wit, and sometimes exposes facts I was unaware of, requiring me to change my position. @CaptainHarley said it eloquently. But debating with someone who has no intention of ever changing their position regardless of how compelling an argument they face is a monumental waste of time.

Hey, i’m quite liking the idea of a mass-debate….especially online, sounds like fun.

A belief that it’s never challenged can never prove it’s strength or be exposed as a fallacy. Debate is a way to expand one’s knowledge.

I like a healthy discussion listening to views on all sides, but, when its an emotional response, aruguing, attacking, making fun of, I’m out of here. A good healthy debate is always fun and interesting, the other isn’t worth getting involved in to me.

I used to love what I viewed as “debating” when I was younger. It made me feel amazing. It made me feel like I was doing something that was worth it. It made me great to have an opinion. Having an opinion made me feel independent and like I had a brain of my own. I liked being able to back my opinions up. I liked hearing what other people had to say and their opinions, too. I loved it when things got heated. I felt passion. I felt connected. I felt like I mattered. I felt it was productive.

Interesting how time can change things… I now find what seems to be called “debating” too stressful a lot of the time. I no longer feel the same passion for it that I used to. I’m sick and tired of explaining my arguments over and over again now. It seems like more and more people only hear what they want to instead of what’s actually being said.

@AnonymousGirl I hear ya

@AnonymousGirl Many times I feel the same way because the other side has zero interest in constructive dialog. Every once in a while I run across somebody reasonable though, and those rare few times make it worth spending time dealing with people like @saracore