Can someone help me with a battle of the personalities?

It sounds like you need some work with a therapist to get to the bottom of your feelings and you batter. It would be difficult to do on your own.

Your situation is not as uncommon as it may seem. There are people who do not feel emotions. I have been with one. It really is possible and I don’t think you can just start to feel what you think others feel. You should make peace with yourself…as long as you do not act in a harmful manner (something we should all concern ourselves with, in general), you do not have to force feeling…I know it may be hard for those around you since people will always try to be that one special person to make you feel something…it’s hard for them…but be honest.

I agree with @Simone_De_Beauvoir in that once you make peace with yourself, things will change. You don’t have to be a certain way just because it’s perceived as normal. We’re all unique. That sai, in order to be at peace with yourself, you may need to look within and sas @marinelife stated, it can be quite difficult to do this alone and that’s where a good therapist could be invaluable. Good luck!

I agree with the above answer, a professional counselor will be a big help.

Thank you all for your support.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir I think you’re right about not being able to just start feeling what others feel. Sometimes I’ll get myself to start crying insanely and for a while I fool myself into thinking it’s real, but then all of a sudden I’ll think to myself am I really sad? Is this how I really feel? Then the “feeling” goes away. The only true feelings I’ve ever felt is anger and hate. They require no encouraging. They just happen naturally. I wish I could truly feel other feelings like that.

Quit worrying about it and concentrate on building your life. The emotions will come by themselves eventually.

Is it you don’t feel or is it what you feel tends to be on the negative because you’re really a pessimist?
Or are you afraid of getting hurt so you rather not feel?
I don’t think its that people don’t feel. Its just a matter of the order of importance.
Sometimes, really bright people may find it all messy and rather deal with facts than emotions.
It sounds like your not, what even, you consider happy, and you want to be.
Feelings isn’t something that you just make happen. Its not something one can turn on so easily. Especially if you really feel insecure to let your hair down. Its easier to squash a feeling than to feel it on command.
I find most people who are cold to other people has more to do with the idea of not letting anyone get close enough to hurt them by rejecting them. So you may just be rejecting them first. In trying to be safe from getting hurt you create a cage for yourself and an never ending cycle of being rejected by all you meet.
Is this normal behavior. Sure. It is at least normal for you. Is it emotionally healthy. Probably not.
Face the reality of what is really holding you back and take a really good look at yourself. Then decide if you are going to let your past hold you back or if you will be the real master of your life.

I suggest therapist, I am a similar battle but I went for help 14 years too late.

@Pandora Yeah I pretty much trained myself to reject all feelings from a very early age… say 4 or 5 because, well every person I met was inconsistent and untrustworthy and most had hurt me in some way.To this day I’ve only met 2 trustworthy people who I know would never harm me. I pushed feeling away my entire life to survive and it just became natural. Now no matter what I do I can’t retrieve them. I feel secure with showing emotions. It’s not a matter of looking weak for me anymore. I could care less what others think. I proved this to myself a few weeks ago when I forced myself to fake cry in public. I didn’t mind that people may have been thinking I was a crybaby.
@CaptainHarley You really think so?

You need to be happy within yourself and appreciate who you are and respect how you think. It’s hard to be different and it can leave you can feeling excluded from things. Sometimes people don’t understand you. Just keep trying to connect and be true to yourself.

The best thing just happened the other day! I felt like I was really part of a family. I was so happy, yes happy, I cried! I haven’t felt that since I was real small.