NSFW If you want- If you are flirting with a person online for a long time, and you agree to meet, is there an assumption sex will occour?

Nope

Nope

Nope

Never and assumption or expectation.

No pressure.

Nope

^Gentlemen, perhaps I phrased it poorly. Do you think the other person is expecting sex?

I have no idea what they assume.

What circumstances did the online flirting take place? A dating site like Match.com, where you intentionally choose people who have a viable chance of being a potential mater, or a non-dating forum where it was established that there’s really no chance of this being a “real” thing? Are we flirting, or dating?

I don’t care what they expect. If they want sex and I don’t well, they can go fornicate themselves with a rusty cast iron rod for all I care. There is no entitlement to sex. Hell, I believe no actions, words, entitle someone to sex. That’s just utter bullshit.

@Aethelflaed I had not considered the two independently. Let’s assume non dating site.

Dating site she can’t have me till the third date.

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought Then absolutely not. With a dating site, there wouldn’t be an expectation of sex so much as an expectation that both people would be checking out the possibility of sex in the future.

No,No, and No.

There should only be an expectation of what has been discussed, in advance.

No. There isn’t and shouldn’t be any “assumption” that sex will occur no matter what the circumstances under which you meet; really there should be no “assumption” that sex will occur under most any circumstances.

Oh yeah I sex up the hell out of e-v-e-r-y-b-o-o-t-y I flirt with online. And it doesn’t stop with silly little chat sites. If you’re on my email list… we’re fucking! Hell, fluther is just a big orgy pit… we’re all doing each other when you’re not signed on @Imadethisupwithnoforethought.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Chill out big boy! And I’ve already asked you not to mention that you and I and every man and women here are having sex with each other!

s-o-r-r-y

This question made me laugh on the inside.

Nikipedia drove 8 hours to have dinner with me. I didn’t even bring a condom with me. I just wanted to gather a sample of her wonderful hair.

Not at all. I’ve been in both situations; once when it did lead to sex and more than once where it didn’t. It’s nice if it happens but it’s certainly not expected or planned for.

Well..it always has been so, for me.

No.

I’m guessing it would depend. If you’re meeting because you want to have sex with each other, then… yeah. If you’re meeting just to get to know one another better in person, to see if you want to pursue the relationship further… no expectation. Doesn’t mean it won’t happen, though. You might get lucky! :p

I think it depends on what the two people have been saying to each other, up to that point. I talk to many women by email, and I never expect to meet them, much less anything else. We are just friends.

Like I said, it depends on what the two people have been discussing.

In general, I agree with everyone else that the answer is no.

If you don’t want the person to assume you’re going to have sex with them, one thing is not to meet them at a hotel. Meet at a coffee shop or other public place and don’t go anywhere else with them. If you have been saying things like “I want you, I can’t wait to have you,” then yes, they may be expecting sex.

I hope not. If that’s what constitutes as the beginning of a relationship then no wonder we have such high divorce rates :/

I think it’s a reasonable expectation, but it would be stupid on the part of both people not to try to manage those expectations and make sure they’re on the same page before meeting up.

Even if the person turns out to be someone you do want to have sex with, feeling pressured to rush into it because of circumstances sounds like a bummer, and not a great start to a relationship.

Yes, absolutely. Before, during and after. Hee hee…assumptions. That’s all there is isn’t it?

This scenario depends on a lot of different factors: Where online did we meet? How did we meet? How has the conversation gone so far (i.e. how explicit or sexual has it gotten)? How far apart do we live? Have they given any indication that sex might be in the cards, or is it just a nervous first meeting to gauge compatibility?

The answer is something I would have to determine on a case-by-case basis, depending on the above factors and also, simply, on how things felt.

It’s tough to say what the other person’s expectations are unless they are direct and open about it. I have met a lot of potential dates/hook-ups/friends/etc. online and if there’s been serious flirting, I figure there’s at least a small chance I might get lucky and I prepare accordingly. I can’t tell you the number of times I so didn’t expect anything to happen.. at all.. and I ended up making out or in bed with them. :P

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Do you feel some pressure or obligation due to the travel time involved?

I think there’s always a bit of pressure if one person has to travel a distance in order for a meeting to happen, but this pressure is not always/usually sexual, in my experience.

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Has this prevented you from meeting up?

I can’t think of any examples, but yes. That distance thing can be daunting and difficult. I hate the thought of one of us driving a long ways and then finding out there’s no chemistry.

I agree with @nikipedia.

There’s a difference between online and offline interactions, so while it’s reasonable to expect that something might happen, it’d be counterproductive to try to “force” the online chemistry in person. Just go with the flow.

For some reason, I keep running into myself every time I arrange having dirty sex with @mazingerz88. Go figure.

@mazingerz88 Try it in the shower.

@mazingerz88 Have you considered having dirty sex with @mazingerz44? Then you’d only run into yourself half the time.

I think it’s best not to assume, ever.