I have disdain for my predicament. Any advice?

From the perspective of someone who is many years out of college but lives in a college town and deals with students on a regular basis; Most of the students I encounter are superficial nitwits who are only there because society says they should go to college after highschool. Sixty percent or more will not be there for their Sophomore year. You have time to join clubs, you just need to make yourself do it. Just be sure that they are clubs involved in something that interests you, preferably non scholastic related because you need a release outlet to let go of the tension created by your studies. I suggest you get involved with a caving club. Nothing like being outdoors and several hundred feet underground and knowing that you are dependent upon your own skills and that of your fellow cavers to bring reality to the forefront.

Come to my school.

You’re going to learn very soon that the point of college is to network. I think you pretend to know it all. Just because others talk about parties or seem like they’re nit wits it doesn’t mean you are better than them. To be honest, those people run America eventually. Why? Because they party together, and go to school, and talk about crappy stuff. I think you need to get over your “Catcher in the Rye” phase and soon and realize its about being social in order to be successful. I purged away and felt I understood it all being so young. I was so fucking wrong. The more people you know, and become genuine about knowing them, the more successful you will be in life by virtue of hardwork and networking. College really isn’t about observing other students. It’s about face time with you and your studies, and if you can become involved with whatever your major is the sooner and better off you will be dealing with the people you need to be dealing with, the people you will need to be networking with. Good luck, I hope you change your views, have an open mind about others don’t put others down just to put yourself up, take care.

:“The more people you know, and become genuine about knowing them, the more successful you will be in life by virtue”

Respect @ whitetigress

Sounds like you might be in the wrong college for you. There are great one out there with passionate involved students. Any chance of transferring to a non-commuter based school? Take a look at the book Colleges that Change Lives.

Your situation does sound grim. College is a big adjustment from high school where you got very comfortable after four years.

You need to find the time to make friends. See if there is someone whose responses in class that you admire. Introduce yourself to them and start talking about the class.

I also went to a large metropolitan university with a big commuter population, and I was lonely my freshman year. It took time to make friends and get settled in.

Give yourself that time. I know you say that you don’t have time for clubs. Why not? You don’t have to be involved (like an officer), you could just go to the meetings and meet some people.

An hour commute each way takes 10 hours out of your week. Can you live any closer to school?

I think things will get better for you with time.

I guarantee you some people are making friends, good friends, quality friends. What are they doing that you aren’t?

This school may not be right for you. You may want to transfer. Is there a school closer to home?

It may not be an issue of homesickness, but of being out of your element. You have a lot of social capital at home and the prospect of trying to rebuild all that may be too daunting. I never had any social capital at home, so college was an oasis for me. The first time I met people like myself. Of course, it wasn’t a party school. Students were very hard working at my school. Almost as hard working as the kids at Swarthmore.

You may be depressed and not desire to reach out.

This may be freshman doldrums and things will pick up next semester.

This too shall pass. You will find something to be passionate about soon enough.

@whitetigress
You thought wrong. I didn’t gain all of the relationships I have now through judging people. I’m the one who despises any one of prejudice. I am getting to know people, but the other freshmen that I am getting to know only seem to care for a party or an image rather than building their own character through school or whatever. I came here excited, open to everything and it’s taken me a semester to realize how grim my situation has become. I feel like I came across in my question as if I didn’t try. I have and this is my deduction from that. Please, I don’t want to come across as if I think I’m better than anyone. I don’t have disdain for those who party and live this exuberant social life, I just don’t understand why I can’t find people of more substance. To me, it’s a matter of respect, not some competition to see who’s better than who.