How good are you at punishing yourself?

BRILLIANT. That is all I ever do!

Not as good at it as I used to be.

Pretty good.

Not good. I need someone to do the ‘spanking’ for me.

Perfectionistic types have to watch they dont do this, also shame based childhoods produce this tendency. Takes a lot of love to get past that and some serious effort. I am preaching a sermon to myself there which needs vigilance day by day.

@Ayesha Dibs!

I am really good at berating myself over stupid things, but terrible at letting it go.

Since I’ve been holding a grudge against myself for several decades, I suppose that makes me pretty good at punishing myself. I think I’m much too hard on myself. I feel exactly as @smilingheart1 has described.

I too carry that “If only I were perfect, my father would pay more attention” programming from my teen years. Intellectually I understand, but the early programming is embedded deep in my neurons.

When I was sick, there was no punishment that was sufficient for me, or so I felt. Although not quite seriously to actually make me absent myself from my family. In any case, people said that would punish my family more than me, so that was not the right target. It’s really weird when people say you shouldn’t punish yourself because that punishes those you love more. Can that be true?

In any case, I don’t think about punishment any more. That implies there is some objective judgment of my behavior, and I know when I think about that, I take myself down the road to hell. I don’t like hell any more, and when I think about belonging there… well, I try to let that thought go. It doesn’t help me.

It’s a powerful thought, though, and even just thinking it now makes me sad and makes me long for it in some strange way. Like I could die and I would never know the impact of my life. It’s a stupid disturbing thought. I wish I knew why it calls me. I know I won’t give in, but wow! Questions like this just bring it back so fast, it takes me completely by surprise.

I used to be so good at it…

I am trying to be much less good at it and almost succeeding.

I have surprised myself with how creative I can get.

Trying my hardest not to be good at it, but it sneaks up on me and bites me in the bum when I’m least expecting it and sometimes I don’t noice before it’s too late…then I’m back in the old habits…loving oneself is so so hard for some and so very unnatural

apparently too lenient.

I am, unfortunately, an expert at punishing myself. If I feel I deserve to be punished, I will punish myself. I don’t think I do this nearly as much as I used to, though. I’m learning to accept things more. I’ve also realized that not everything wrong that happens in my life is my fault.