My fiance is embarrassed to show his face around my family after they walked in on us, what to do? (NSFW)

I would suggest confronting it openly, first you and then the two of you. Tell them you are engaged, how you feel about him and that he is going to be a part of your life, and since that;s the case, you surely would appreciate their welcoming him as they have in the past. IF, they will not, then that says a bit about your family that you will have to deal with. This is one of those moments that brings out the best or the worst in people. But not bringing it out into the open is the worst thing you can do.

They were probably embarrassed, too. I doubt that anyone will mention it. He just has to suck it up and show up and eventually get used to the idea of what happened. Maybe when you get married, that will make it all right.

You got a room together. I’m sure they knew what was going on (and probably gossiping about it before hand) and are just as embarrassed as you are.
If they are as religious as you say, they will be relieved that you are getting married and no longer living “in sin.”

Just pretend it didn’t happen. They’ll get over it. They can share the responsibility since you are really supposed to knock on the door and wait to be allowed entrance, and they didn’t.

All of us have been “caught” in one way or another.

I agree with those above me who say that this will blow over. Your fiance needs to start going to family events and holding his head high.

If he really wants to mess with the family members who walked in on you he could wink at them once or twice.

Really they should feel more embarrassed than you and your fiance.

Well you might as well confront the issue now and get all the awkwardness and tenseness out of the way in one sitting… rather than let it fester for months or years.

Hopefully this will turn into a subtle, inside family joke over the years!

It’s hard to be specific without knowing your family personally but maybe this will help in general.

Embarrassment, though we sometimes at the moment wish it was, is not commonly lethal. And, as they say, this too shall pass. I’ve always found it best just to accept it and do my best to laugh along with it. To me life’s just a little more fun that way and it gives you something nice to look back on that you probably, at the time, didn’t see quite that way.

If I were you I’d stand up together, hand in hand and just make your announcement, after all that’s what’s at hand, and what’s important.

“As you all know, some of you more… ‘vividly’ than others, Mikey and I have been together for some time now. And today, with all of you together, we would like to announce our engagement.”

Bottom line, you can’t help how they feel, but you can do a lot about how you handle it and some of them may take their cue from that. Laugh about it and move on, if they’re wise about it, they will too.

Tell him it’s just practice for when the kids start to walk in on you in a few years. Really, this is nothing. You had a room together at the motel; did they think you spent the night praying together? Whoever walked into your room without knocking feels worse than Mikey or you do (and if you’re going to marry him and he’s going to be a man, we assume, someday, then you have to drop that “Mikey” thing). You two need to be together, and apparently you need to sneak off by yourselves more often, too.

@CWOTUS I’m sorry, what? Mikey isn’t some nickname I have for him. That’s his name; it’s what he goes by with everyone. I don’t see anything wrong with it…

You need to just bite the bullet and get together with family and Mikey again. Point out to him that other people have sex too. That your family was just as embarrassed as he was, and that all will be forgiven once the glow of the engagement news gets around.

Your family knew you were sharing a room so they can’t have been completely surprised. They shouldn’t have walked in unannounced. It has caused embarrassment all round and you can’t get over it until you all meet face to face and with your clothes on. The first time you all get together you will have to stick close to your fiance the whole time and show you love him and support him 100%.

He’s just saying that names like “Mikey” and “Davy” are usually reserved for kids. You don’t hear of corporate CEO’s or politicians with names like Mikey or Davy. They go by Michael and David.

Wouldn’t they know what was going on if you two were sharing a room?

Your family can go screw themselves. You’re marrying the guy, not them.

I am in the camp of saying nothing and acting like it didn’t happen. Shame on them for just walking into a bedroom with a closed door without knocking. Let’s say you weren’t having sex, but even if you were alone in the room just changing clothes and were naked. I don’t care how religious they are, to think that a 22 and 26 year old who have been dating for a while are not having sex is ridiculous. I doubt they thought you both were still virgins. Not that there aren’t some 20 somethings who do wait until marriage but it is extremely rare.

I think there is a good chance they are more embarrassed or feel worse than you both do. They were completely wrong, you did nothing wrong.

I forot to mention I agree with @Judi if they are that religious they will be relieved you are getting married.

Don’t avoid getting together with the family it makes things more awkward, just put it all behind you, no one has said anything because no one is going to. If the people who walked in on you were overly worried about your virtue, I think one of your aunts would have spoken to you or told your parents and they would have spoken to you. I am sure everyone wants to forget about it.

Tell Mikey to stop being embarrassed and be a little pissed off they did not respect your privacy.

Imported from the other, deleted question:

Q: What can I do to make my fiance feel better after my family walked in on us?

A: It sounds like you were making him feel better when this happened…

Hey, if they knew you guys were sharing a room, they probably had this figured out before they saw you hanging on the headboard.
Tell him that he is going to see them a lot in the future, since you guys are getting married, and the longer he waits to see them, the more difficult it will be.

Am I the only one who knocks first if a door is shut? A no-brainer in my opinion.

@Adagio To be fair, they probably thought she was saying “Come in”.

It’s probably best to not bring it up at all – not with your family, not with him, not with anyone. If you bring your family up with him at all, don’t mention that time… mention other things. There is no need to embarrass him any further.