Why have people dropped out of Fluther?

Don’t go! it’s only because of people like you that I get to be a “young people”!

THAT DOES IT! I’M DROPPING…

…off the kids at the pool. brb.

First of all may I say don’t go!! There have been times when all of us here have wanted to leave, usually in huff because someone has ignored our obviously brilliant insights or told us plain out we’re stupid and wrong. It’s very easy to take an atack on one of your answers as a very personal attack and it can be upsetting. When it happens to me I tend to stop following the question (well actually I tend to write a cutting put down, delete before I post it, stomp about a bit and then stop following the question). As to the young people thing just remember they find the innuendos of older generations just as confusing.

Press on and stay.
“Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air. ”
~John Quincy Adams

At least stay for the nekked pancake parties.

I haven’t noticed Fluther users dropping out of thin air. It’s just a bit slower because of the season. And possibly to my co-worker’s theory of Mercury being retrograde. My use of Fluther wanes throughout the year because I am a full-time student and part-time worker. My hours of free-time are usually extended pretty thinly. Now that I am on holiday, I’ll probably comment a bit more freely.

Please don’t leave because of us young folk. There are plenty of seasoned jellies here who have been active and appreciated users here far longer than myself. We’re a diverse bunch and don’t mean to drive anyone away (except trolls). Stick around and I’m sure you’ll find your place here too :)

I’m pretty lucky. When I get out of the house I rarely come across people who are jerks. I live in a small community where most people are very friendly to others. Fluther is the only place in my life where people like to push my buttons. Luckily there are more people here who are kind than those who are assholes. You just need to walk away and take a deep breath, or ignore those butt heads.

I’ve had a few times, @comity , when I’ve had to walk away for a few days or a week or so, but it’s always temporary. There is a trend here that when some are fed up they announce intentions to leave, then are more active than before. Others walk away with no announcements, and sometimes it takes awhile to notice an absence, unless it’s someone you’re often PMing with.
The good news is, you can get out of your chair and walk away for a bit to cool down, then come back and go to another Q, and the “stop following” button has been very good for my blood pressure.

When it gets too hot in the Fluther kitchen, it’s nice to know one can easily, with a simple push on a button, move to the Fluther living room or the open porch to get some fresh air in the form of another less controversial or bewildering question. There is always room to breathe here. : )

Please stick around, you’re a breath of fresh air. :)

It was something that happened because I didn’t recognize a joke. A couple of people were commenting why Obama did Chanukah so early, would he have done that for Christmas or something like that. Two people gave answers ” because he’s a muslim”, and “because he’s black”. I criticised the comments as softly as possible, one person came back hot and heavy. They were kidding around another member said. It was then I realized that this old gal doesn’t comprehend the humor and I started to wonder if this is the place for me. Will I put my big foot in it again.

I hope you’re not planning on leaving us, that would be disappointing. I wouldn’t take anything here too seriously. Sometimes members get snippy, and sometimes they are only teasing, but it can be difficult to pick up tone when all you have is text.

Lots of different reasons i’d imagine, I certainly know of one who was only too glad to escape the clutches of a raving loon, but that’s another story…..or is it? :¬)

@comity My mother is 75 and gets upset if no one likes her posts on Facebook. She takes the place way too seriously. There’s no way she could handle Fluther. You are doing just fine here. It’s easy for anyone to have a misunderstanding here at Fluther. Also, my husband would be upset if you leave. You’re his new Fluther crush. =)

@comity I think that’s less because of your age and more because you haven’t been around long enough to realize that those kind of things would only be said in jest here. In many other sites, that wouldn’t be a given.

Oh dear, don’t leave because of those comments! If rude comments were enough to make me leave, I wouldn’t be typing this comment right now. And I’ll admit I’ve left my fair share of rude comments.

This is mostly a great place to be, so stay and enjoy it!!

@comity : I just read through that, and I think it’s a shame that people assume you should know that they’re joking when you haven’t been here long enough to know the players. I saw your point, but I know the players, I would have reacted differently. There are always some that don’t quite understand that humor can be difficult to determine with only typed words.

Great Caesar’s ghost, I don’t know what you have seen, but from my experience some leave because they get busy, get sick, others are thumped on so much for stupid things they feel they can get trampled shopping in a big box for gifts than be insulted online. Many of which has been pointed out to me as the reason for the Boorish attitudes towards them, was quite weak. Many people like you use insults to bolster their argument, because they have no real argument, many who left, that I know of, didn’t feel it was worth dealing with.

I’ve taken two major hiatuses from fluther in the past. 6–8 months I think. I was never jumping ship, it’s just that Fluther is the sort of thing you can’t half-ass and sometimes its good to take a breather. Especially when there’s other stuff going on.

I would hope that any user that has made themselves a part of the community wouldn’t quit us completely (though plenty have) and hope the many jellies in my fluther that haven’t been around will wander back when they’re ready.

@Hypocrisy_Central What do you mean “people like you use insults to bolster their argument”?? She didn’t insult anyone.

Interesting thing to say @Hypocrisy_Central, ” Many people like you use insults to bolster their argument,...” from the man who brought us this Q. Wait, what’s your username again?????

This reminds me of when I first moved into my small town in the finger lakes. I volunteered for Storytime Plus for the little ones. Besides stories we danced (the twist too!), sang, listened to fun music, did puppetry and it was great fun for all. Parents and caregivers would join in. But, one day one of the little kids tripped, fell on the floor and I said, “Oh my G-d! Are you alright?” She was fine, but the crafts person called me at home to tell me that I was being blasphemous by saying the name of the lord G-d in vain and They don’t talk like that ‘here’. I appologized, but after that I was never the same at Storytime. I held back worrying about what I’d say to offend, and I wasn’t as good at what I did. I left in the Spring and went elsewhere. Just hope I can be me and continue on that way. Thanks for your encouraging words.

Some will argue and/or be offended if you say “Good Morning” here. Most, however, won’t. You’ll soon learn who to best ignore, with whom you love to argue, and the folks that you are delighted to see when you log on. That’s why we keep coming back!

If I read that you’re 75 years of age one more time I’ll slap you silly.

I’ve tried to leave a couple of times. Both times it was an argument with the brass and/or with new policies. I couldn’t stay away more than a few weeks. I am hoping, in the not too distant future, to start to stay away more, since I think I need to do a number of other things that I have been neglecting. We’ll see.

Don’t worry about offending people. So long as you follow the writing standards its all good. And you know what? We’ve all been modded, more than once. You don’t have to be perfect.

@WillWorkForChocolate Let me see if I can recreate a similar scenario. Jelly A, “I would love to be a SAHM, but I would feel too guilty about being lazy”. Jelly B, (to Jelly A) “If not being lazy means abandoning my child for 8+ hours a day I will be lazy, but SAHM work just as hard as anyone.” Jelly B (in response) “I didn’t say you were lazy but if you feel lazy, maybe you should get from that dimple you left in the sofa and do something more important”. Then it goes down hill from there with a few more Jellies heaping in some animosity for good measure. (That example might be a milder version of some stuff I have read)

@JilltheTooth Interesting thing to say @Hypocrisy_Central, ” Many people like you use insults to bolster their argument,...” from the man who brought us this Q. Wait, what’s your username again????? Errr…..ummmmm……what?

@zensky What can I tell you. Gals from Brooklyn talk and repeat too much!

@comity

I lurves ya babes. BTW – go over to @wundayatta ‘s profile and GQ him – you can give him just enough lurve til he hits 50,000 – maybe we’ll all party tonight for the first jelly to reach 50k…???!!!

@Hypocrisy_Central Wait, who are you talking about in your comment?

@WillWorkForChocolate I think he meant “many people like to…”

I assume that people are joking more often than not. Sometimes the joke gets out of hand, such as American presidential elections – whoever gets elected. It’s either that or suppose that everyone else is an idiot, and me a bigger one for arguing with them.

So just laugh at the jokes, criticize them when you feel that you need to, and maintain your own sanity.

Keep calm and continue laughing.

Oh, and fuck people who take offense at what we say, too. That’s another motto that I don’t verbalize often enough. God damn them to hell.

I almost left not long after I initially joined when I felt bullied by an ex member..but then, I checked myself and remembered that no wussy little bully on an internet forum is gonna get my goat.
Chalk up any extreme weirdness to mental health issues or immaturity and don’t let one or two bad apples ruin the big barrel of fluther funl. lol

@zensky Does the lurve ceiling extend to GQ’s? Because I haven’t gotten @wundayatta any closer to his party.

100 max points per person – doesn’t matter if it’s GQ or GA.

@fundevogel the lurve ceiling for GQ’s and GA’s seems to be different. If you have maxed out someone’s lurve with GA’s you can still increase their lurve with a GQ a few times

Really? I’ve only noticed one cute thing – if you have given someone 98 and then GQ them – it’ll work – so that’s 101. LOL. Daloon – should I just quit and start over and give ya another 100 to put you out of your misery?

@zensky & @Lightlyseared Well now I’ve exposed myself for the lurve-slut I am.

@WillWorkForChocolate Wait, who are you talking about in your comment? I can’t remember who specifically said something to that effect, paraphrasing, and I could not mention then anyhow, not that I would want to. You can see even in that question of mine that Jill referenced, at one point Auggie had to admonish everyone not to make it personal. When you see all the modded comments it kinds of makes my point.

@Hypocrisy_Central Okay, nevermind. You may want to proofread your comments a little better, because with the way it was written, “People like you use insults”, it looked like you were saying “people like Comity” use insults… it’s the whole “people like you” thing. I felt better after seeing @thorninmud saying it was probably a typo and should have been “people like to”.

I got it now, I’m okay.

I’m so confused, somebody hold me…

@WWFC – Noooooooooooooooo! Don’t make him proofread – that’s all the laughs I get here.

@Jill – I got you babes. Lean into my arms.

We need…. crap, I can’t say his name… right now, I’ll send him the Q.
Thanks, @zensky , feeling safer, now…

@zensky LOL, sorry!

You mean… we…. need him… the man?

Oh, dear, could we have gotten further off track???

We can try. Shall I change into the hobbit shire?

@JilltheTooth @WillWorkForChocolate Your first mistake was assuming he was making sense to begin with.

The questions and answer become very repetitive after a few years here, so many people move on. I find the turn over can lead to new comments, so I always choose to stay.

Many people are moving on to new sites which are less restrictive.

I have never found Fluther to be restric {Redacted}

I kinda like being…restricted…hee hee hee

Another ‘beg me to stay question’? Sigh.

Maybe you are a coward, maybe not. There is a million reasons people leave this site. I suppose cowardice is one of them.

Please don’t try to push me over the top in an artificial way. If my answer or question is worth lurve, then fine, but 50K is just a number. Let me get there naturally, please. It should take two or three days from here.

@Comity, I hope you won’t leave. It is of course your decision. However, someone asked us to thank our founding fathers Ben and Andrew the other day and I made the point that this community is a little like an “oasis on the internet” and it is. There are some beautiful people here. Really beautiful people. There are also some asshats but isn’t that part of what a community is? A mixture of individuals with a common connection? Where else on the internet can you argue about Obama with someone one moment and then get a great recipe for Brownies from the next? We argue, we bitch, we laugh at each other, we throw pancakes and then we argue again. It is the circle of Fluther.

The number of people here who have said ‘please stay’ shows there are many who have enjoyed your contributions so far. It is up to you whether you let a few critical words from a minority (that were in jest anyway) drive you away. Ball is in your court.

@wundayatta There is nothing natural about 50k here.

Oh, and I agree with Bella – you should stay a while longer, you lurveable old slut, you.

@wundayatta p’shaw. There’s nothing unnatural about perusing the back catalogue for gems I missed. You might not have noticed but your output is prodigious…and I had two very long hiatuses.

Where does @Wundy go when he gets to 50K? Where does such an amazing amount of lurve get you? The exosphere? I haven’t even left earth yet. We need a Fluther ticker-tape parade!

They haven’t even thought up a name for the category yet. They may just name it the Wundayata – or under the Orange Tree,

Do you have any preference @Wundy? Where would you like to go (Flutherwise) when you hit the 50K?

maybe…the Wundastrata?

Perhaps @Fundy. The Wundastrata…..

Believe it or not, I’m out of ideas. I suppose something science fictiony would be appropriate. You could send me through, and I wouldn’t return until the far future, when fluther had taken over the universe!

You can’t go into the far future @Wundy! Well unless you become a sort of omnipresent being that can still connect in with us here.

@Bellatrix He could get Universal roaming. I hear it’s quite expensive though.

Don’t be ascared of us, @comity. :)

As long as it isn’t with Vodafone he might be okay @Fundy.

Be afraid, very afraid of the Fluther addiction though… we are an addictive bunch once we get you in @Comity.

I will stay you loveable creatures but who oh who will bail me out when I put my big foot in it? Will you? It is not cowardice for me to leave but rather that I want to keep being who I am and have an army to back me up should I blunder. You know I backed the soldiers on Fluther questions in the past. I need an army because of my big mouth ; ) Please sign up for my draft!

Never fear mods who are here. That is – a mod in a thread can’t moderate. Hahahahaha.

@FutureMemory @JilltheTooth @WillWorkForChocolate Your first mistake was assuming he was making sense to begin with. I don’t make sense, I make dollars. Don’t hate me because I am logical, Nah! :-P

@Bellatrix Where does @Wundy go when he gets to 50K? He is abducted by aliens who will stick probes in his body where he never thought they could go, they will stick needles in his eyeballs, drill his teeth, take samples of bodily fluids, and when they are done, give him to the Borg, he will become nothing more than a drone, a collective of a hive. That is what happens when you hit 50k. ;-P

I’ll have what ^ he’s having. That stuff be mighty powerful. Does it come in liquid form, too?

:-O @Hypo! No. Auggie will never let that happen. Never.

And @zensky, rules were meant to be broken and the boss is here. She can do anything.

@comity, you don’t need an army. Just be yourself. I would say most of the people here have big mouths and don’t mind opening them and jumping in feet first, we still love them. That’s what keeps the place being fun. Jump in, tell us what you think, we will agree or disagree but most people here I would suspect agree with Evelyn Beatrice Hall statement “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”.

I would say from my own personal experience that when I first came to Fluther it seemed very restrictive, and I was reprimanded for being too “lax” or “childish” in my questions and answers, because I thought that Fluther was just like any other Q&A forum.

But damn was I wrong….

Now I LOVE Fluther for its restrictions, because I think that it offers people a special forum for “higher-minded” and “intellectual” questions and answers. It is an amazing place to get good (meaning not idiotic) responses from people who actually know what they are talking about. With this said, I also think that Fluther can be a great place to get quick esoteric answers, even if they are not geared towards the intellectual.

So to answer your question, I think that a lot of people have come to Fluther expecting it to be a lax and care-free forum where you can write whatever you want, however your want (like I previously did), only to find the contrary. But I love Fluther for this very reason, so go ahead and “drop out” if you can’t appreciate the specific awesomeness that is Fluther.

Don’t go! You must stay and get to know us so that you know when we really need a spanking!
You’re 75…in that light, I’m glad you took offense at my comment about Obama being black. Too many people of that age group wouldn’t even think twice about it. They would think I was serious and it wouldn’t cross their minds to disagree. Cheerio!

Welcome to Fluther!

@Dutchess_III Thank you! You made my day!!!

@comity You just got here! You’ll learn to avoid who those who offend you are, and avoid them. The younger people add a perspective that is extremely informative. It often makes no sense to answer them (imho) and the morals from their generation are often considerably different from ours, but you can avoid them easily. And don’t take anything personally. I find it fascinating to be reminded of my youth and how different it is now. Sometime wisdom comes out of the mouths of babes. I’m sorry you had a negative experience, but don’t drop out now. You need a couple more months at least. And thanks for all your questions! I have a hard time thinking of questions.

@Blondesjon YOU’RE FIRED!!! Again!

@Dutchess_III . . . That is such a (insert ethnic/gender reference here) to say, BUT that is why I love your presence here.

see how easy it is @comity? and i gave her a GA for it

I can help, @Blondesjon. “Dumb Blonde” would be appropriate for me, cuz I’m a white girl. And sorta, kinda blonde. Well, silver. Silver is a type of blond, only better.

Silver is also a type of gorilla back BUT that is why I love your presence here.

thank you folks. i’ll be here all week. don’t forget to tip your mod.

Yes, I agree with @Sunny2

We all just learn to avoid those we find difficult or abrasive, and, it’s important to remember that sometimes we can have something in common with someone and other things not so much, just like real life.

There are a couple jellies here that I have had a moment or two with, but…our commonality is a love of animals, sooo, even though we may never be destined to be pals, I totally respect that common ground.

Nobody that loves animals can be all bad. haha

Ron Paul 1776!!

@Coloma did you SERIOUSLY put a bow on Marwyn???!

@Dutchess_III But of course, he is Christmas Goose! Deck the halls with bow tied ganders…lol

LOLOLOLLL!

I’ve taken breaks from Fluther before; usually because there’s something else going on in life that must take priority (like a hard week at school), or I’m more involved with something else for a while (like the search for a new home), or sometimes because it just gets exhausting to deal with for a time. The important thing to remember is that Fluther isn’t entirely binary – you don’t have to be “all here all the time,” or “leave and never come back.” It expands and contracts as necessary to fill the time you decide to give to it, and you can take a vacation for a while, too. Fluther is flexible like that.

@laureth . . . Well put. That could actually be applied to the Internet as a whole and lose none of it’s substance.

Don’t go! Don’t let a misunderstanding cause you to leave. The greatest thing about fluther is people are willing to discuss and straighten out misunderstandings. The people on the Obama Chanukah Q have known each other a long time in the land of fluther, and assumed they would be understood. it is absolutely no problem that you were lost and wondered “aloud” what the jellies really intended with what they wrote.

The lingo does take a while to get used to, I still get lost in some of the conversations. You can always ask what a word means, or just leave that particular conversation.

Your contributions and questions so far have been a breath of fresh air.

Oy.

You’re supposed to say Oy Veh! You’re all so cute how can I leave?? Besides my husband has drafted his marine buddies to defend me should my big mouth cause me trouble again ; )

Yay!

Well, after all of this, you’d just be silly to try, now wouldn’t you?

Listen to the Tooth lady! We’d only hunt you down at this point…

@RedmannX5 Thanks for staying. We lurve you.

@comity Hey, you seem to be having a lot of fun here and fit right in. I’ve learned to work on the assumption that basically everyone here is nice. Look at all the posts you see objectively. Everyone writes intelligently, they follow the rules and can actually string a few sentences together without cursing or resorting to txtspk. There are a couple of dickwads (you know who you are) but, by far, the vast majority are nice. If I read something that seems offensive it is usually someone making a joke and pointing out the absurdity of it all. We are supposed to use a ”~” to denote sarcasm but it is often left out as being understood.
If there ia question that seems like a black hole: religion, politics, abortion, etc. I usually go right by it. Try it.
You have a lot of experience and bring much to the party. Enjoy.

Just ask yourself:
“Where in the world or internet can you ask a question like that and get an outpouring of lurve like this?.”

I rest my case!

Show us your boobs.

@comity – yes, I am talking to you. Do it, now.

@blueiiznh You’re right! I never talked to so many people and the responses are unbelievable. One doesn’t feel alone. So, what if the kids don’t call. I have the lurve of Fluther ; ) Can’t give that up!!

@LuckyGuy Will do and thanks! @zensky Whose boobs are you looking to see?

Oy. @zensky We just got her back, don’t scare her off.

Yours. And possibly @JLeslie ‘s too. In fact, any boob will do.

@zensky Possibly? Now my boobs aren’t good enough for a flash?

@zensky Let me iron out the wrinkles first!

HERE YA GO DEAR

Les – meet me in chat – bring your camera – wear something skimpy. Comity, you can come too Bring a waffle iron.

Do not go to chat with @zensky or @bob_. If you do, just know it is at your own risk. LOL.

Hey.

Muah!

Well, then.

@comity may have fallen asleep. It’s after 5 p.m.

@zensky Stop it. Isn’t it something like 6am where you are? And, you have been up for an hour at least. Too early.

I’m dropping out now…the memory foam and my new book beckons…us old broads, we need our beauty sleep. Shit, I ate too much salt and now my boobs will be puffy in the morning LOL

@JLeslie I can handle zensky, got my waffle iron out and raring to go, but unfortunately I’m tired and have to go to bed. Tomorrow @zensky you can count on it!

@comity Oh, I have no doubt you can handle him. Just having fun. Nighty night.

@Coloma That happens to me too.

Promises promises.

Oh good. A calamity has been avoided, and @zensky, stop muttering.

Grrr.

Mumble.

Mumble.

Boobs.

Mumble

@zensky You’re cute.

I’m also pooped. On for 24 hours straight takes its toll.

@zensky said “poop”. Hee hee hee.

@zensky I promised you boobs but because you’re so cute, you should have a choice so here goes. http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery_C.php Enjoy!

@comity : We usually just send him stuff like this when he gets difficult…

Or this.

@JilltheTooth Cute! They’ll probably delete my response, but maybe he’ll see it before they do and enjoy! I’m bad to the bone ; )

http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery_C.php Strange, more than half can get along sans bra, but I bet they wear them. One can only wonder why? Shamed into them maybe?

@ Hypocrisy Central
I have a feeling I shouldn’t have posted that site and contacted management to have it removed. This old gal is probably being a little too risque. Thirty lashes with a wet noodle.

@zensky The lurve is a two way street my friend

Psh. We live for boobs around here.

@comity No, no, no!! That’s a fabulous link.

LONG LIVE THE BOOBIES!

I like seeing pictures of mom boobs, since that’s what I’ve got, lol. I much prefer those over plastic, round boobies. Keep ‘em squishy and soft, I say!

@WillWorkForChocolate I agree! I hate fake plastic boobs! Keep it real ladies

@comity No, no, it was quite informative, seeing they are non-porn girls, but average Janes. Most of the brief minutes I spent there are wasting money on bras, not that many had bad headlight, or a poor rack, just nothing really large enough to warrant wasting that much money to be shackled for life in a Spandex/Latex contraption, less shamed into it.

What was that Martin said about boobs @WillWorkForChocolate?? :) :)

I have an arrangement with Fluther; they leave all the comments with boobs and I stay.

@zensky Like I said, “You’re cute”

I haven’t been around much because I’m used to another Q&A site. I’m probably a stranger to most people on here, but oh well. I decided to drop in and see what’s been going on. ^_^

@zensky Just because I said you’re cute you didn’t have to get scared and run away! There were comments on my page, site, or whatever you call it and they disappeared this morning. Boo hoo!

@comity He’s just taking a break. When he comes back, his PMs will, too. :)

@comity When he comes back he’ll be somebody else…with a Zen. I figure he’s probably close to 50K if you add all his accounts together!

Welcome to Fluther @AnonymousGirl! Where do you hail from?

I was just thinking @zensky is going to change his name eventually. I was going to PM him and ask him not to, because this name I really like. So cute.

@Dutchess_III Thank you! I appreciate the warm welcome. I am from Canada. What about you? :)

Lame, my pms with @zensky also disappeared with his account. Clearly he was destroying the evidence since had told me not two days ago he had given up his account-closing name-changing ways.

What if there had been boobs in there zen? What then? You would deprive me of boobs?

I’m from Kansas @AnonymousGirl. What other Q&A website were you on?

@Dutchess_III I’m on Answerbag and Answerology as well. On AB, my screen name is the same. On Answerology, it’s “DefinitelyCanadian”. :)

We have lots of ex-Answerbaggers here!

I’m not an ex-Answerbagger. :)

Not saying you are. A lot of people left there forever after some changes were made. THEY are ex-baggers!

Makes sense. ^_^

Well, I’m glad you’re here! You’re well spoken and that is really appreciated here! : )

Thank you. :)

I have a different name on Answerology.

@zensky and I had a little fight last week. He said something about not being that good and I told him that if you put all his lurve from all his different forms together, it would be more than I had. Then I went out and counted it all up. I don’t know if I got all his lurve, but it was more than 38K.

I also asked him to stay himself. I had the impression that he was thinking of doing just that. So there’s reason to believe that when he comes back, he’ll still be @zensky.

We’ve both done the same thing—dropping out and changing our names. I think he understood what I was going through at the time, which was a kind of crisis brought on by a bit of depression. In any case, I think that “taking a break” sometimes has more significance than just taking time off. I know I needed some time to deal with some feelings that weren’t easy for me to cope with.

@wundayatta Meanwhile, you now look like the old you.

I think he looks like a wundaloon myself. The “w” is pronounced like a “v”.

@fundevogel Yes, very good I love the V pronounciation. Wunderbar! I am sure he was a wunderkind.

@JLeslie Of this I am sure :)