If there was a time in your life you were able to change, when was that?
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comity (
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December 10th, 2011
I look back over the years and think if only some things were different and I was different during those early years. But, I was young and we all make mistakes and learn from them. I wish I had spent more quality time with my children when they were younger, taking them to museums, children’s activities, the theater and just out for fun, and spent less time cleaning, shopping and taking care of the house. How about you?
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15 Answers
I’m learning right now as we go. But I don’t fully understand you’re question and I’m still changing. I’ve changed a lot during the course of only 2 years, I feel like huge loads. I’ve matured a lot and become stronger, due to some unhappy events. I still feel traumatized about what I went through, but that change helped my character a lot.
I was in a really bad, stupid, abusive, relationship. I decided to get out of it. I’m still changing. It’s crazy to look back now and see how big a difference it is from who I was…
I think we change when we can. It is wasted time and energy to look back with regret. Focus on the positives.
The divorce hit hard and I changed. 40 wasn’t fun – I nearly died – that changed me.
I change every 5–10 years or so – a little bit. Sometimes for the better; sometimes with awareness. With age comes wisdom and experience.
@zensky I understand about divorce as that hit hard in my late 30s, but I don’t think I had the power to change things as he fell for a young woman and has since had 3 wives, working on his 4th. Men! ; )
@partyrock What was it that Oprah said, “Turn your wounds into wisdom” and you seem to be doing just that. Wishing you the best of what life has to offer!
I would change my 6th grade experience, but that would make all the subsequent events change also. Who knows how different my life would have been. Since I_can’t_ change it, it doesn’t matter much, does it. It is what it is.
Et vous, @comity – how many men have you had since (what – 45 years since you were divorced at 30?)
@zensky Lived without a guy for a few years, then a friend introduced me to a handsome bachelor who took me on with 3 young children ages 7, 9 and 11. He’s still here. How about you? Also, did you almost die from and illness or were you that troubled by your divorce. Arn’t I nosy? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.
Can we continue this a little more privately? PM – or chat.
@zensky I see there’s a chat section. How does that work?
When I was 14 I realized that I had autonomy over myself and I could change if I wanted to. And it would be easier to change than to continue to agonize over all those things I didn’t like about myself. And it would be easier to deal with other people’s poor opinions of me than my own poor opinion of myself. So I stopped trying to please others so much and focused more on being a person I liked. Some of the happiest realizations of my life, those.
Oh wait, I misunderstood your question! I thought you were asking when did we change, not what would we change. Sorry about that. To answer your question, now that I’m past high school I can see that it wasn’t such serious business. I should have goofed off quite a bit more. Oh well, I have plenty of time to goof off in college. xD
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