How do you deal with someone coming back into your life?

I am not understanding this sentence. Everything he said to me SOUNDED illegitimately, honest. Are you saying you felt he was honest before?

Regardless, the only way I know of to quiet the doubts a bit is to talk to him about how you felt when he disappeared. And add that you can’t invest anymore emotions into being with him if he is going to disappear again.

Tell him he needs to earn your trust again. And if he says he can’t make that commitment, you should consider protecting yourself emotionally by telling you can’t pick up where it was before, and he can’t be back in your life.

Or you can go along with him, have some fun, and if things work out, great. If they don’t work out, at least you knew there was that possibility.

@zenvelo nailed it. How could you just walk back into a relationship with this guy after what he did to you. Talk to him about it (not texting!) face-to-face. Ask him where and why he went and why you should believe him now.

This should flush him out. Maybe he has been regretting dropping out of your life and missing you. Or maybe he just broke up with a girlfriend and is looking to hook up to assuage his pain, and he will disappear again.

Only by talking it through with him while seeing his face and body language will you be able to judge.

What outcome do you WANT?

From what you wrote, it seems that you need to answer that question first. Once you have that decision made, then the rest is easy.

If you want him in your life, you have to overcome what happened earlier and your current suspicions. That’s going to be hard, but if you want the situation with him, you can do so. You may need to lie to yourself a little, however.

If you don’t want him in your life, then cease contact. Easy.

But only YOU can decide what is the situation you are looking for,

You said it seems like your feelings for him are fading. If they are, it would be best for you to let him go; if he walked out once, he will do so again. Why revive something that is painful? (Note to self!)

I say trust that place in your gut that’s telling you to run. He broke your heart before without any regard for your feelings, why wouldn’t he do it again?

Enjoy your memories and let him go.

Anyone that disappears without a word after behaving as IF they cared for someone is a high risk for a repeat “performance.”

Immature at best, serious emotional problems at worst. Either/or, most likely both.

We teach people how to treat us, if you let this guy back into your life without a serious discussion and apology for his less than stellar vanishing act, well, you’re giving him the green light to do it again.

I’m kind of surpised that when you found him again (was it online, or did you literally find him in person in your town?) that the first words out of your mouth weren’t, “Why did you leave me out of the blue without a word of notice or explanation to me?” His answer to that question will (or would have if you had asked him right then and there) told you everything you need to know.

People that care for other people don’t simply leave and give no explanation. He could have left for a million reasons, but the fact that he just disappeared shows that he has no regard for your feelings. He may act all lovey dovey and sweet and charming right now, but if he finds a good reason to ditch you again, that’s exactly what he’ll do, again. Why put yourself in that position? You should meet with him in person (no texting, e-mail or phone calls) and ask him directly, “Why did you leave me with no explanation and what are your intentions with me now and why should I trust you now, after what you did?” See what he says.

If he dropped off your radar for that long with no explanation after the emotions you felt for him, maybe your brain knows he wasn’t genuine in all that good stuff.

@zenvelo Well, I can’t decide. Everything he used to say sounded honest but after I look back on it, was it REALLY true?
Thanks everyone!

Let it go.