Is it normal that I'm the teenager my mother used to be?

It’s completely normal that you share many of the same aptitudes and interests, and highly unlikely that you’ll be “just like your mother” in any way that you don’t want to be.

Yes, it is. You are not your mother though. You are your own person. Half of your DNA comes from your father.

If you follow your own inclinations, you will find yourself in some ways exactly like your parents and in some ways, very different. Nothing to worry about, just enjoy the process of becoming who you are.

You are never going to be “just like your mother.” Feel grateful that you have enough items in common that you and your mother can understand each other. Far too many teens feel completely misunderstood by their parents.

I was “just like my mom” at your age, and in many ways I still am. By weird coincidence, my mom and I both switched careers and ended up in the same exact field. We never really discussed it because at the time, I lived across the country and didn’t talk to my parents much. But we both decided around the same time to go into working for public libraries.

We have a lot of the same personality traits, and people think we are a lot alike, but there are some major differences that satisfy me to say that we are not the same. We have opposite opinions in politics and religion. We have different worldviews.

I think the major differences come because she never traveled growing up and had me at 19. I traveled around the world in my 20s and didn’t have kids until I was almost 40. I think having different experiences will give you a different perspective that is stronger than genetic tendencies. I think if you make an effort to experience things that your mom didn’t experience, you’ll develop in a different way. You don’t need to travel around India—maybe just do some volunteer work or join a club that has people different than the ones you are most comfortable with.

Or heck – just read tons and tons of books. They are a very cheap way to open up your imagination and can give you access to new ideas and ways of thinking. Don’t force acting different on yourself. That will be artificial. But if you keep exposing yourself to different kinds of people and different thoughts and ideas, you will naturally start to have more options for opinions that are going to be different from other people’s. Even if it’s just an obsession with Tom Waits or a craving for Thai food—it’s just that little something extra.

Her genes are now your genes. My son and I resemble each other and he does not mind this. During my grandaughter’s early years, she would come into my recreatioal room and listen to the oldies records with me. All grown up now, she loves the oldies and listens to nothing else. Like it or not, your parents genes are in your chemistry makeup, so just enjoy it.

You can be yourself and have your own ideas about life, but remember, your parents genes will always follow you, like a shadow.

I am sure your mother is a good person, so following in her footsteps could not be all that bad.

Remember, your children will also have your genes…..something to think about !!

At least you’re like your mother. I am like my father so that means I am like a 58 year old man!. We are basically the same person just 30something years in age apart! We think the same, we like the same music, we have the same tempers, we like the same food and we have pretty much the same political and religious views. It used to annoy the hell out of me. Now I’m 23 I love it. I have worked for him last year and I don’t think we have had an argument since I was 14. I can tell him anything as long as it’s not about boys. I love spending nights in with me and dad, we appreciate the same films and love to try to drink each other under the table. And being the same height, we generally succeed in both of us just talking jibberish and falling over. Ha. My dad is cool though, he plays in a band and knows about everything. He doesn’t lecture at me, he will just advise me on his experiences. I can’t stand it if someone tells me not to do something. I will do it. We do like some different things, I like to go raving (not the tacky hardcore style!) and like electronic music and like pretty dresses and heels. Dad, not so much…
So to answer your question: Of course it is normal to be like the teen your mother used to be. I am sure you have plenty of things you would have differed in. Maybe things that your mother wouldn’t tell you!
However, is it normal for me to be so similar to how my dad is now though? not sure on that one. Am I just a 58 year old man dressed up as a 23 year old girl? I hope not!
Either way, I love my dad, and if my life turns out as good as his has and my kids love me as much as me and my sisters love him and I stay in a great marriage like him and my mum have done for the past 30 years and counting, I don’t think I could ask for a better life.

To add to what @bongo has just said – in such a wonderful way! – about her own dad, I could only hope to be “just like my dad” used to be. In fact, at the few times in my life when I have faced a moral / ethical dilemma, he has been my go-to template: What Would Dad Do?

Bongo great answer. Wish all children could say the same about their parents. jp

Yes. I think @wundayatta sums it up pretty well.

Sure.

It’s normal and it’s good you can recognize the similarities in order to keep yourself focused on the different things you want to achieve for yourself.

Why in heaven’s name would you worry about such a thing????? Go outside and hit a tennis ball it will be good for your mind and your body.