How to handle holiday with family and grand daughter that is afraid of dogs.

You can hold your dog in your lap at all times and for pictures, other than that remember the kid wants a stress free holiday. Put the dog away when appropriate. Don’t traumatize her, she may one day get over her fear, but don’t force it upon her. What we see as the dog trying to lick us and have fun, is that she see’s it wants to bite her.

OMG send your mellow dog to a kennel because of someone else’s unwarranted and unreasonable paranoia? No. This is a great opportunity for the girl to toughen up and learn that conquering an unfounded fear can be empowering…if only her parents will get on board. Would putting the dog on a leash and tying him/her to a distant enough place satisfy everyone?

Can you put your dog in a crate in your home? That should be acceptable to all.

Put the dog in a play fence

Thanks for your replies. I really appreciate it. I think my son is just too worried and wants to ensure that there is no chance of trouble. But, I will gently bring up the idea of using a crate or a play fence again.

I think you should talk to your granddaughter instead of relying on her parents words only. There are people who say I don’t like dogs, but I would much rather be the person who is talked to about what I’m afraid of… not somebody speaking on my behalf (who might even exaggerate or say things that cause the other person he or she talked to to feel bad). Then again, maybe I’m different.

Get your granddaughter alone away from the rest of the family and quietly introduce her to your dog. You may find that her fear of dogs is mostly a figment of her parents imaginations.

I totally agree with @WestRiverrat. I babysit my oldest brother’s children sometimes (along with other siblings of mine) and, get this, their children are forbidden from letting their dog play with us. It’s like the parents (mostly my sister-in-law, I’m sure) think we can’t handle her. Yeah right! They even went as far as locking her in their room last time. There are times when the parents let their imaginations get away with them. Please make sure that’s not the case here before forbidding your beloved dog from being part of your event.

Do you live in a house with a section/yard? I’m wondering if it might be possible to hire a kennel with a completely fenced run attached, that way your little dog can have some freedom when your family is out doing other things and your granddaughter will still be able to have contact with the dog if she feels comfortable.

Thanks for the thoughts. There are a lot of options, but I think my son is just being too emphatic that the dog is not as important and should just be put in the kennel for the holiday since they will be staying at our house. Anyway, my children live out of state and don’t visit so often due to busy schedules. I also have difficulty to travel so I cannot visit much too.

I would kindly but firmly explain that your dog is very important to you and part of the family as well, and you’re not willing to put him/her in a kennel just to accommodate a most likely exaggerated fear. Offer several suggestions, like keeping the dog in another room for most of the time, in a play fence/crate, on a leash, etc. I also agree that you should try to introduce her to the dog to try to help her to get over her fear. Just make it clear that you are not willing to send the dog away for an extended period of time when there are many other options.

If you can’t do the crate, then I’m afraid you will have to take the dog to a kennel. I am a dog lover, but if it comes to seeing your grandchildren that you don’t see very often, you will have to go along with your son’s wishes. In the long run, it will be okay to take the dog to a kennel for a few days to be able to see your kids. If you don’t, they may never come back. Again, I am a dog lover and don’t agree with this, but it’s probably your only other option.

You have not mentioned how old the grand child is.

I love my dogs so much. However in your position I would feel as you do. Please let us know why the child is afraid of dogs and how old they are.

If it is not acceptable to crate your dog or put it in the yard I would just go ahead and board her. It is only a short period of time and if means the difference between seeing your children and grandchildren over the holiday? Is this really the hill you want to die one? Families and love are about compromises, even when you really don’t want to make those compromises sometimes. It would be a shame to make it a shoot out between your dog and your grandchildren. Let it go, that would be my advice. Board your dog and enjoy your family. It’s only for a short time. I think it will be more than worth it. It’s not like they are asking you to kill your dog or give it away forever, they are just asking you to board your dog for a relatively short time. People do it all the time, board and kennel their animals; it’s not exactly abuse or neglect.

I understand how you feel and I’ve had the same problem. I have placed my little dogs in another room with a pet gate and the door can be closed and open but the gate is still there. One has to climb over the gate to get into the room. The dogs can’t get out. If I had to take the dogs out to pee, I’d let everyone know they’re coming out now. Everyone responded well, and still do. I have to do it everytime my precious little grandaughter comes over as they live close by. It works!

@comity YES, that works for us, also.

Your kid has got to learn that they shouldn’t coddle a fear. They just encourage the child to forever be afraid of dogs. They should learn to watch a dogs behavior before approaching a strange dog.
My friends daughter was afraid of my dog. Her mother brought her over and held the dog to show her that he was a friendly dog. It didn’t even take a few minutes for things to be twisted around. She became brave and my dog had reason to fear her. She was like Elvira from the cartoon. She wanted to hold him and squeeze him and he didn’t want any of that. After she nearly dropped him by accident on his head, he would run under the bed any time small children entered my home
It took him a number of years to get over his fear of small children.

We have a similar problem except it is an adult who is literally terrified because of a bad childhood experience. She is the girlfriend of a son. When they come to visit the dogs are penned in another part of the house. It is such a pain and she is so irrational that it makes the whole visit a bit of a nightmare. They don’t visit often and at this point I don’t really care. With a child it is a bit different but I would tell your son that you will be certain that the dog does not come in contact with the kid and he will have to accept the dog is a part of your family as well as he is and he will just have to deal with it. He sounds as if he is being unreasonable and a bit of a control freak for making unreasonable demands.

Tell him if he wants the dog boarded, he will have to pay the kennel. I don’t know about your dog, but for me, if I board my special needs dog it costs more than a motel.

I’m in the same situation. My niece and her husband, and thus kids, have dog fear. My rescue pup has issues and hates to be alone. I left July 4th at my sisters because of their bad attitude.
I think it is rude for them to demand the dog be boarded, they (pups) are YOUR family too. I would tell them the dogs are staying and it will be fine. I’m tired of folks not respecting your home.
My nieces husband was bit by a dog in childhood. Their kids are 4, 2 and 9 months. But my dog loves kids and playing. and is up my behind.
Some people make trouble when there is no reason, if your pets are sweet.

Hi everyone. I am so happy to have so many kind and thoughtful replies.
It is nice to hear that others have similar problems and have found ways to deal with it.
I am thinking that my son is being unfair and wrong. However, I am also thinking that family is important, and, thus, that I will do my best to achieve the best solution, but in the end, if. I must board the dog, I will do that. I think if boarding was truly an evil thing, I wouldn’t do it. That is, I don’t think one should compromise to the point of doing evil. But, compromising to the point of discomfort and unfairness might be needed at times. I think in life maybe we need to learn to behave like grass in the wind, allowing the breeze to move us about as long as it does not uproot us. Its not like I want to never have my kids visit, or like I never want to visit my kids. I will do whatever it takes to see them, and when their is discomfort, I will try to let the breeze blow gently over me.

@oldgranmum What a nice way to talk. When I had larger dogs, they did AOK in a kennel during the holidays. But, during the holidays often the kennels are over-loaded with many dogs as that’s when they do the most business! My little dogs would be over-whelmed and frightened ,and I wouldn’t be enjoying the holidays thinking about that. So, not that I love my family less, but I would try to work it out so all would be AOK and the gate and door to a room where I place my pets works for me. They don’t love it. They want to be where the action is. But, it does no harm.

Thanks comity. Sometimes, I wonder if I dwell on my own worries too heavily… like “I wouldn’t be enjoying the holidays thinking about” my dogs or other family problems. That was how I was feeling. I feel like I love my family but can’t handle those troubles. But, maybe, my discomfort is my ‘shtick’ that ‘sticks’ between me and my family. Maybe I need to learn to worry less and just try to ride the breeze more… Don’t suppose I can change at this point in my life? Can old dogs learn new tricks? Just maybe my elderly Bichon can learn to enjoy the kennel and I can learn a thing or two too…

You have to ask yourself this question: who come first your family or your dog?

If you have waited a long time for your family to come to your house for Christmas, I would do whatever it takes to make things go as smoothly as possible.

I am a dog lover and I understand where you are coming from.

But, you have an extreme situation and boarding your dog is your only answer.

Thanks john65pennington. I agree with you. I really appreciated everyone’s replies. Thanks again to all.

Personally I am afraid of dogs also. My family usually just keeps the dog in a seperate room from where Im at.