Does "The first year of marriage is the hardest" rule apply in this situation?

I’ve heard that the riskiest time for a marriage is around the 4 year mark. Statistically, 4 years into the marriage is when most divorces occur.

@HungryGuy I think that applies in a relationship in general. I was in a relationship for 6 years and around the 4th year mark is when it really started going down hill. My bestfriend and her S/O just broke up shortly after their 4 year anniversary and my S/O was with someone for 5 years and he said that his relaitonship with her went down the sh*t pipes around their 4 year mark as well. I wonder why that is?

@Inked_up_chic – I’m guessing people realize it’s not working out by about the 2nd or 3rd year, give it a chance to get better, and by the 4th year realize it’s not going to change.

My guess would be that that saying came around before people typically lived together prior to marriage.

@HungryGuy Oh good point!

@Mariah Very possible!

I don’t know what the actual statistics are, but I would bet that the problems start when all the realities are finally right in your face. You never noticed details when you were aglow with love. When you pick up his sox and towels left on the floor or have to push through her wet underwear hanging over the shower curtain for the 1460th time, you lose some of the ‘magic’ that made you tolerate little habits before. Those pile up and unless there’s a truly strong bond in place underlying the annoyances, poof! There goes the marriage that probably shouldn’t have taken place in the first place.

No matter how long you’ve lived together, marriage changes things.

However, a saying is just a saying and not a cosmic law. For me, the twentieth year was the hardest (so far).

Marriage is different: emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. It will change things between you. Hopefully, in a good way.

I read this wrong. I thought the question was ‘Is the first marriage always the hardest’... and I was thinking… No.. the first marriage is like the first pancake of the batch. It generally gets tossed in the garbage because it just ends up all wrong. I don’t count the first marriage or the first pancake.

Marriage always has tough moments. It has great moments as well. The couple who can weather the storms will find that their relationship is stronger than anything else in their world.

I think divorce rates are climbing because society (collectively) has become weaker emotionally. Marriage doesn’t have the sanctity it once had.

As far as your question though; I think a long period of dating before marriage is an outstanding thing. You learn each others roles (as you said), quirks, desires, fears, etc. Moving slowly through a relationship is always better imho.

Who in the world said the first year of marriage is the hardest??? I would think it would be the easiest.

People tend to overblow everything in our society, and people are no longer emotionally able to stand some of the things they were able to stand in the past.