Have your goodbyes provided relief rather then sadness or visa versa?

When it became clear that my second (22 year marriage) was going to end, I was initially ashamed, humiliated, sad and wildly unhappy.

Now, looking back, I am thrilled to have this guy out of my life; it took a year or two for me to learn the coping and management skills. I spent this Thanksgiving with this guy and his honey; how wonderful that she was going home with him, and I was going home to Milo.

Heck yes. When I said good-bye to my ex-wife, I had no remorse. I didn’t even hug her or shake her hand, I just wanted her out of my face and out of my life.

I’m in the let go and move on pretty damn quickly camp myself.
I have no regrets, and have a similar tale as does @gailcalled leaving my 22 year marriage 8 years ago.
Nothing but relief!

This holds true as well for exiting several jobs and friendships over the years.
I am extremely loyal to those that prove their worthiness, ability to negotiate and work out issues but, if a situation or relationship goes sour, and cannot be modified or compromised in a workable manner I’m outta there with nary a backward glance.

Yeah…relief but sadness that it ended that way.

I find it hard to be sad for any length of time. It’s just to draining. Thankfully I’ve learned that everything happens for a reason and it’s best to move on, even through the hurt/sadness. And yes, I can and have moved on without looking back.

Everyone is talking about an end to a marriage. What about other endings? Parents, sisters, brothers, best friends, etc.

@comity Oh, when I left my ship to switch duty stations to shore. That was a wonderful goodbye. Even when you’re used to it, living on a ship still sucks.

I lived overseas and formed some truly deep friendships. It hurt too much to say goodbye so I said the equivalent of “See you later.”

And 5 years later, I actually did.

OK..when I walked away from my shop. Utter, indescribable relief. I had been operating on Code Red for 4 years straight. The stress was unbelievable. But…there was terror involved in walking away too. It was at least 2 years before I could drive by the old building without breaking into tears.

@LuckyGuy Odd…you were showing 0 GA, until I clicked on the first one then it popped up with 4 GA. Same with the duplicate post. Which I gave a GA too because it’s Christmas. : )

I resigned from a job that had become almost abusive (5 years ago).

I walked away from a toxic relationship with my mother (3 years ago).

I refused to back down from a situation at work that got me fired (4 weeks ago).

These goodbyes were all a huge relief. Sure they subsequently created other challenges, but nothing even remotely close to the stress of being in those relationships.

Most other goodbyes in my life (deaths, estranged friends, etc.) have been sad or bittersweet.

I think it has depended upon who made the decision. If I have decided it is time to move on, I can do so very easily and it is a relief. When I have been dumped and someone else has made that decision, it has been very hard on occasions and while with hindsight, I have learned that yes, it was the right thing, it has taken me a while to get there.

I could so relate to @gailcalled‘s post about the end of her marriage. You could have been describing my experience @Gail. It took a couple of years to really find my feet too. At first I wavered between whether us separating was the right or the wrong thing and I definitely felt like I had failed somehow. Now, I am so, so glad we moved on from there.

For me, the separation is the most recent “goodbye” and for now it is such a mixture of feelings that I can’‘t begin to untangle them. A more unequivocal goodbye was when I stopped working in my family’s business and went back to my original profession of librarianship. It took me a long time to get to that point but very little time to realize it was a wonderful move for me.

Mostly I’ve said goodbye to situations rather than the people involved. My parents know what kind of relationship is acceptable to me now, I’ve long since said goodbye to anything else that came before. Same with ex’s, for the most part we remain friends, the nature of our relationships change be we keep what is good and re build from there. It takes a good bit of wrong for me to write off someone completely.