I love Fluther and the interaction with different people, but why the flame game?

It’s not that I can’t fight back, or I’m a wuss, but it’s unpleasant, not fun for others participating, doesn’t address the issue, so why would I do it?

that will happen in any online community, big or small, regardless of the intelligence of the population. It’s human nature to think these things, but being online makes one less apprehensive about voicing their opinions.

It is unpleasant. The thing is, IRL (in real life) you can avoid people like that, so you do (or don’t.) Can’t get away from them on Fluther. They will track you down if they’re mad at you!

@Dutchess_III It’s not that it’s done to me. I don’t like seeing it done to others, me, anyone! We could be having a great discussion and boom….........

@comity I know sweetie…I know!

Relative anonymity + an audience will turn even the most normal people into blathering, namecalling shitbags. It’s just one of those things about the internet.

Sometimes it’s just how people argue. They’re very raw, and say what they mean in whatever way first comes to mind. Better to just dig for the content in what was said and ignore the flames than to worry. And as unpopular as it might be to say so, some people only respond to strongly worded criticisms. They’re so sure of themselves that they need a shock to even consider the possibility that they are wrong. While it may not get them to publicly change their minds, it may lead to a change in their future postings.

Most people probably don’t react that way, though, so flaming as a general strategy doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. But I don’t think anonymity is what’s behind the proliferation of flame wars on the internet. I’ve seen the same thing occur with the same frequency on Facebook forums where at least most of the people are using their real names. As alluded to in this article, a lot of it is just that using the internet somehow causes us to bypass the parts of our brain typically responsible for social restraint.

I think that folks start name calling when they’re being out-argued, realize they have no ground to stand on, and they’ve run out of good responses.

That, and some people are just dicks ( <= name-calling).

There are no personal attacks allowed on Fluther. If you see one, flag it for the mods.

@syz But surely it’s sometimes a manifestation of frustration, too? I’ve seen people who are excellent debaters engage in a bit of name calling when their interlocutor turns out to be slightly less able to converse than the average brick wall.

What they all said ^. It is the nature of the internet. As @marinelife said, if you see something that you feel is a personal attack, flag it. Fluther is one of the best sites I have come across in terms of managing this stuff and really in terms of the community respecting the guidelines and not resorting to name calling. It happens, but nowhere near as often as I have seen on other internet sites or to the same level.

Of course, sometimes people will disagree quite vehemently but they stay on topic. Can still be a bit hard to read, but as long as they are attacking the idea not the person, it is perfectly okay in my book.

@marinelife Its been taken off after awhile, and I’ve done that, but I’m still curious as to why.

As an aside, I wonder if the flame baiters recognize themselves….?

@Dutchess_III But that’s another problem here. Who the flame-baiters “really are” might be in part subjective. Or even if not, what would be flame bait to one person might be laughed off by another.

@CunningLinguist Oh, I’m sure it is.

And I would argue that there’s a big difference between vehemently or passionately arguing a subject that is important to you and flaming. Some things are important enough to warrant being forceful.

Lowering yourself to the level of an unsuccessful opponent by name-calling is just going to undercut your own effectiveness. But there are a few instances when a statement is so hurtful or damaging (through bigotry, homophobia, racism) that sometimes you just have to be outspoken, blunt, even to the point of rudeness; to call things by their proper names without any beating about the bush

Am I one of them???

I think in many ways Fluther is like a large dysfunctional family. Each of us hot buttons and sometimes they get pushed. Partly through our familiarity with each other and partly because of the relative anonymity of the Internet – a winning combination – it can be easier to lash out or be insulting than it is in real life. While I don’t condone it, I understand and sometimes even enjoy seeing some of the flame wars; they add some zip. And when they’ve gone too far, they are removed. You should see what some unmoderated sites are like.

@janbb I don’t know what they’re like. This is my first. And you’re saying sometimes you find it fun. It adds zip to the discussion!

@comity I’ve actually only heard that from others – this is my only Q&A site too.

I have yet to see anyone on Fluther resort to insulting another person’s mother.

@Bellatrix Don’t give anyone ideas : )

Blubbering retards filled with gumption & a warped sense of bravado.
Or…......cheese, just blame cheese.

What is flame bait anyhow? Can anyone cite an example please :D

It is when you make a statement with the intention of drawing other people into an argument. You bait them knowing they will lose it and go off.

Oh so like “pushing the button” on the premise that someone might take it personal…

I think people like to see how emotional invested people are in their beliefs. It does take great discipline to attack a statement and not a person. Because statements can’t change, but people can.

<—- superior quality, cuddly, flame bait.

@Bellatrix I guess you missed this question. ;)

You might have to explain the point you are making @jonsblond. I don’t think that falls into the same category as someone actually using people’s mothers as an insult. Thank goodness.

@Bellatrix I have yet to see anyone on Fluther resort to insulting another person’s mother.

I was responding to this comment you made.

Thank you for pointing out the thread though. :-)

Oh, yeah, they have. People have insulted KatawaGrey’s mother. Just not directly to KatawaGrey… ;-)

ETA: Actually, yeah, they have but those posts were taken down pretty quickly…

Now I am disillusioned. As I said though, thankfully I have missed seeing those posts. I don’t get all that ‘your mother is a xxx’ stuff.

I see it as monumental ego, and emotional immaturity, along with, in some cases, certified mental illnesses. I’m not one to inflame or start anything, but, I do feel “protective” of innocent people that are attacked and defamed on occasion. Lets just say that on a scale of 1–10 the odds of me causing a ruckus are about a -2, BUT….if someone is being extremely abrasive, abusive, assumptive, or flat out fabricating stories about another, I WILL, on occasion, jump into the mix.

I will always champion the under dog or the falsely attacked or accused. Always.
Here, or in real life.

It sucks when a thread you like goes down like that. Program yourself to click the unfollow button and leave off, nothing bad will happen as a result.

@comity If I don’t follow or strongly disagree with the posters’ lines of reasoning while they’re arguing, then I tend to just stop reading that thread or skip forward to see if someone else posts something. Sometimes jellies argue about things I have zilch interest in, or I don’t like how they talk to each other—I just move on and find another thread.

Fluther is one of the best places, if not the best place, on the Internet. I’ve seen some of the posts on the other sites…gigantic black holes that suck peoples’ dignities, intellects, common sense, etc, etc!

Some jellies I’ll read, no matter what they say or how totally inane they’re sounding that day, because I lurve them so much! :D

Sheesh @linguaphile…calling me inane is a bit much!!

@Bellatrix!!! LOL!!! How did you know!! :D :D You know I lurve you, don’t you! hey, I have inane days too… heck, I have inane weeks as well.

Some issues may stem from some jellies feeling a wee bit territorial.
JMHO (just my humble opinion).

It’s no different than real life interactions. People get a bit upset sometimes. Flame on! (Flies away on fire)

@Blackberry . . . oh johnny . . .

I don’t see the flame game very much. I see people who put their own spin on answers and that can lead to misunderstanding. True flaming is usually quashed here.

@Bellatrix Wanted to make sure my intent was fully clear… I was referring to all the jellies whose messages I would read, no matter what they were saying. I have a lot of jellies whose posts I enjoy reading just because I like who they are, and put all their posts in good/positive contexts. If they said something way off, I’d still enjoy their post because I enjoy them as people. It’s like, if I really like a jelly, I’d understand their perspective no matter what. Hope I make sense and that my teasing didn’t go too far. (I should’ve used a tilde!) It seems like I meant your comments were inane- they are NOT. That was a joke that took a kamikaze dive. I apologize

@linguaphile, from one inane flutherer to another… it’s okay! Thank you for the explanation. :D

^^ you both are so full of shit.

that was a joke

Why are there 7 people observing like there’s something about to go down lol?

We all want yet another exhibitionist award? Without all the crap and yelling that usually goes with it…

You know it @Blueroses.:D

Walk softly and carry a big stick into the jungle. ;-D
It’s a matter of discernment, knowing whether to run, fight back or play dead. lol

There is strong debate on here because people tend to be passionate about their beliefs. I’ve been on here for 2 years and I can’t ever recall seeing any flame-baiters or trolls (personaly). Have I seen users with unpopular views on here, yes. I have seen some spam and a few brief users (that didn’t stay long) on here trying to be funny. Trolls/flame-baiters tend to be very nasty and fluther has strict guidelines and decent mods.

If you truely want to see nastiness at its purity try sodahead, freedomrepublic and yahoo answers. SH at least had a blocking function but this was frequently abused to skew poll results.

@Paradox25 Someone recommend I go check out Sodahead to see the craziness there, and I was not disappointed.

I also just checked out free republic, saw this, “Welcome to Free Republic, America’s exclusive site for God, Family, Country, Life & Liberty conservatives! ObamaCare = RomneyCare = CommieCare. NO Romney! NO WAY!!”

And then I went like this.

You can ALL suck my dick. Suck it!

Joking. Just tryna be funny. :D

As far as I can tell, it’s just an Internet thing. Doesn’t seem to matter what place it is or how the people there are, it just happens everywhere. Some places more than others, but I think just about every online community sees it at one point or another, on a regular basis, and sometimes not so much. There are places so much worse than here. I think @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard got it, in my opinion. Other than being banned or warned, you can’t really be condemned online for anything you do, so people grab that freedom. People get taken away sometimes because of what online offers, or doesn’t offer, even if they have absolutely no intent of exploiting its freedom. (and then there are those who do)
I try to stay away from things like that, but that doesn’t mean I’m saying I’m better than everyone else. I’ll claim that when I don’t get suckered into a flame war or something similar at ALL. I think I’m doing pretty good, even if sometimes I really have the urge to go all Planet of the Apes on here sometimes. But sometimes I fail. Can’t explain why.
Good thing none of my friends on this site know what I was like online some few years back though lol.

Sweet holy moly, people here on Fluther are smart enough to apply a dig or slight without blatantly insulting anyone. I feel what you call the “Flame Game” happens when someone is frustrated and run out of ammunition. When that happens, the only way to try to get some points back is to discredit, or malign the one whom out foxed you.

om nom nom nom oh sorry, I was sucking @Symbeline‘s dick

There is hostility here, even among the older members. om nom nom, is that good for you?

Sometimes there are clouds of ill-will that float over the entire site and settle here and there. It usually makes me go away, even though I could pull out evidence of the flamer being hypocritical… What’s the point? Snakes will be snakes – as much as I’d like to think they might become puppies.

Oh fluther…You are my mother fucker from another father fucker. P.C. we be. In a line, quiping about everybody. Up’s and downs and all arounds….Never to have a reach around. Oh fluther. I want so badly to love you like a horror film on Halloween. I want so badly to understand more. Fluther. You’re a bitch, but I want you to love me.

@Blackberry I still left the option to reopen my account anytime on SH. I was a member of both SH and here at one time. Unfortunately the blocking feature was severely abused on there. Also there were about a dozen conservative private groups on there whose memberships ranged from 150 to 500+ users depending on the popularity of each of the group’s founders and they would communicate with each other to always make the top opinion to a post.

Sodahead had enough liberals/moderates/libertarians to keep it somewhat honest. Free Republic leans way more to the right than SH without any counter opinions. I did check Answerbag out but that site seemed full of angry teens and trolls/baiters. Yahoo Answers looks like a modified version of AB which is at least as bad, if not worse.

Regardless of what ever great answer you think you’ve posted, it is not great until the God’s have spoken and by the “Gods” I mean a few key players here in the Q & A click. Without the word of the God’s we are just regular people reaching out for acceptance. Reaching out for a “hey bro, I relate to your left of center approach.”
I’ve personally burned many bridges in my lifetime but the nice thing about Fluther.com…..Yo, there are no bridges here. We are on flat ground and the mountains you see being made, those are not mountains. Those are egos, so you know they will be super easy to climb over.

@judochop I feel like a Viking without an ocean. Awesome post, bro.

@Symbeline, B movies and cocktails sista, B movies and cocktails.

@judochop Sounds good! Where do I sign up for that?

@Paradox25 The first indication of the users being a little nutty were the top answers. When the most voted answer to a political question has the words “Obummer” “socialist” “marxist” or “Odumbo”......something is off. :/

Not only are you intelligent but you’re all so cute and funny. The sites you refer to, well it’s “like pissing in the wind” to me, as even though I’ve been around for many a year, I’m not familiar with the latest. Thanks for your responses. The next time someone calls someone else stupid or lazy or, I’ll just flag it, let the powers that be take over and not wonder Why. (although I still might ; ))

As far as I’m concerned, every jelly’s mother sucks (except Katawa’s mother, I’m in lurve with her) and you can all kiss my big white ass! I’m taking my chocolate and going home! Meanieheads! <runs away crying>

@WillWorkForChocolate I know you are, but what am I…...

Hey, even my responses are moderated. Shows ya no one is perfect. But, WHY am I talking like one who needs to be moderated? Mmmmmmm! : )

@Blackberry Oh yeah? Well I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and stick to you! Nyah!

Dear God, I’m channeling my children.

Well you know what “they” say…for every finger pointing at another, 4 are pointing back at you. Projection is hallmark of a lot of less than emotionally stable types, easy to spot if you know what your hearing. ;-)

YA’LL ARE FREAKIN’ INANE!!! I’m calling the men in white coats on you guys.

And truly, @comity compared to other sites that have little to NO moderating, this site is blessedly free of really bad stuff. Some of it may make your eyes burn a bit, but you just have to ignore it.

Oh. They’re here. “Hi guys. You coming to take them away? I’ve got them corralled in the cellar. They may be a bit nuttier than usual because I put them in there two years ago. I’m going to the mall now. Have fun HA HA HEE HEE HO HO HA HA!”

I have been accused of personally attacking someone who I felt was personally attacking me. While it’s true that I personally attacked him, I viewed it as me defending myself from what I viewed as his unfair treatment towards me. I’ve since learned that it’s okay to subtly insult people on here under the guise of attacking arguments, as long as no obvious personal attacks that are sometimes even deserved are shared publicly. I feel this is very manipulative and I don’t feel totally comfortable with that as I’d like to think I am a very direct person to start with. This is not any different than how I’d treat my friends in real life, or even my family… and I value my friends and family members who treat me the same way that I treat them as I am a strong believer in treating others how I want to be treated. I am not perfect, but I still see the wisdom in the golden rule. If I am being a jerk, I want to be called out on it… so if someone is treating me poorly, I don’t see anything wrong with me calling him or her out on it as well, even if that includes name calling. I like directness and I don’t agree with every rule. I feel that there are times when harshness is necessary, even if that means insults are involved. I also feel that people who are against name calling in every situation are enabling people to continually treat people poorly who like to start fights for no reason. Why should they ever stop if no one is brave enough to call them out on their behaviour as they get to be as mean as they want and learn how to manipulate situations even further, while the people who stand up for themselves and defend themselves are the ones who are supposedly in the wrong?

(Disclaimer: This is not necessarily directed at anyone in this thread, but it is my opinion based on the questions presented in the question part of this thread itself).

^^^^^ Waaaah! Attacking me again!!! Personally!!!

@Dutchess_III it is because you go damn crazy everywhere with the parenthesis. You also like to phone innocent people up and rant .. I mean…tuts.

@Dutchess_III I’ll assume you’re being sarcastic. :)

I like you and I don’t remember having a problem with you!

Thou assumeth right, Sweetheart!

Hey…Bellatrix. At least I don’t pretend like I am really, literally a CAT who can type! Take THIS ( ) Take THAT [ ] Boom boom! Hey…were you trying to say ‘tits’ up there but it came out as ‘tuts’? Why would you say ‘tits’ for no reason in the middle of a perfectly good conversation?? Hmmm? Butts.

Hey Dutchy…... TITS!!! Bwuahahaha!

o no…......

No.. I was tutting at you… [she suffers from delusions of grandeur.. Bah .. Dutchess my foot]. ....Bum. [Now trying to find a mention of a body part that doesn’t sound as though I am calling you a name. :D]

Um…why were you farting at me??? Ya’ll are awful!!

:D sure are!

Next thing you’ll be calling me REAL names, like Twit.

I already called dibs on calling you a twit long ago… other jellies will have to come up with their own names for you. Twit. :P

^^ That should be easy. Just look up what people call people who use Twitter. Twat is one of them. :)

@AnonymousGirl Ah!??!! Twit for twat? @comity….they’re being mean to me!!!!! Quit it you guys!! Kicks @AnonymousGirl and snaps @WillWorkForChocolate‘s thong..

AND RUNS AND HIDES BEHIND COMITY’S SKIRTS AND STICKS HER TONGUE OUT AT YOU GUYS!!!

I looked up “Twitter twat” and this ad came up on the Urban Dictionary page for it. Maybe twats aren’t so bad. :)

People call Twitterers twats? Ummm

Yeah. It’s a play on words, I think. :)

Damn you, Dutchess. Now I’ve got a melvin.

sorry to interrupt, but, folks still use the term “melvin”?

Let Dutchess snap your thong. You’ll see, LOL.