@john65pennington I cannot fathom why you have been misrepresented so unfairly in this thread. I’m astonished how words you never spoke have been put in your mouth and associated somehow with your feelings on the subject. How is it that people can be so shortsighted, jumping to conclusions about someone they do not know, vs someone you’ve seen grow up and known for 32 years and cared enough about to help pay for her education.
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@Simone_De_Beauvoir ”...those same ‘decent’ guys used the goods…”
He never said that and you don’g know enough about it, or her, to comment without asking more questions first. You put words in his mouth and started this whole shit storm against @john65pennington.
He said, “decent guys do not want “used goods”.” He didn’t say her three divorces and many dates were with “decent guys”. You said it @Simone_De_Beauvoir. Not @john65pennington… YOU said it @Simone_De_Beauvoir. Do you know this girl? Do you know the story behind her divorces and drug habit? If you don’t know her, then ask more questions about her before commenting on what type of guys she’s dated.
Fact is, “decent” guys DON’T look for drug addicts. Drug addicts look for drug addicts. Perhaps you qualify that as decent behavior. I don’t.
Like @KatawaGrey says, ”... perhaps she picks the wrong guys…”
Perhaps that’s because drug addict strippers are exposed to the wrong guys. Perhaps that’s because drug addict strippers are given a lot of attention by the wrong guys. Perhaps @Simone_De_Beauvoir feels like your “wrong guys” are the same thing as her “decent” guys. I’ll let the two of you work that out on your own.
@KatawaGrey ”...not everyone is as judgmental as you!”
Sharing his story about someone he cares about is not being judgemental.
@KatawaGrey ”...because one of her father figures constantly tells her she’s a failure who can’t escape her past”
@KatawaGrey ”... if BOTH her daddies tell her she’s a failure…”
@ANef_is_Enuf ”...I don’t really think that the best way to get someone on the right path is to tell them how crappy they are. ”
He didn’t. He’s trying to relate to everyone that he tells her that drugs and her life choices are lowering her odds of getting her life together. There is a difference… acknowledge it. Stop putting words in @john65pennington‘s mouth. He never said that “I tell her to her face that she’s a failure”… HE NEVER SAID THAT.
@ANef_is_Enuf ”...You don’t know what her future holds.”
No, but people make pretty good guesses after 32 years of knowing someone to fall into unrewarding patterns. He’s sharing the story of a troubled neighbor that he’s seen self destruct and shows no signs of coming out of it. If we were to bet about the girls future, my money would be on @john65pennington.
@TypoKnig “More people happen to disagree with @john65pennington than agree.”
They’re not disagreeing. They’re misrepresenting @john65pennington. They’re certainly not listening. They’re jumping to conclusions, riding to the defense of someone they do not know, and don’t give a damn rats ass about either… If they did, they’d ask more questions about her rather than gang up on @john65pennington… the guy who watched her grow up and helped pay for her education… only so he could watch as she gets to the point where she “may face having her children taken away”.
@SavoirFaire ”...it seems to me that any guy who had a good claim to being called “decent” would not be so hung up on a woman’s past”
It’s not her past. It’s her present… her now… her right in your face drug habit, losing the kids, dancing for strangers that don’t give a flying fuck about her then, now, or ever in the future. Sure sure, a “decent” guy could just so happen to find himself in her presence and sweep her off her feet… sure sure it could happen. Got any odds on that?
@nikipedia “your neighbor doesn’t want to hear you judge her…Maybe you should mind your own business.”
Maybe he shouldn’t have paid for her beauty school. Maybe he shouldn’t be concerned as a neighbor for the children she might lose. He’s sharing his qualified opinions about her with us here… he never said that he “judge“d her to her face. He did say that she comes to him with her problems. That means she values his opinion… not his judgement.
@SavoirFaire “If all someone hears is “you’re a whore, and men don’t like whores,” it’s not going to help (note: this is an example only; I’m not saying anyone has actually said such a thing).”
You’re right, no one did say such a thing. But after all the vitriol slinging @john65pennington, the comment you make insinuates that that is what he meant, so he practically did say it. He did not, and he never meant to suggest that he did.
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FUCK! I’m so embarrassed for fluther attacking you with so much holier than thou who knows the girl like you do @john65pennington. Reminds me of all the reasons people say they left other forums. I’m really sorry about that. Sounds like you’ve tried to help the girl with time, finance, concern, honesty, patience, to the point where “she comes to us and we tell her the truth.” I’m sorry you are attacked for trying to help her.
So, to the OP, I guess you are not “baffled by their inability to snag a long term partner” Sounds clear enough to me too. Actually, the term “snag” even bothers me… rhymes with “trap” or “snare”, or even “trick”. Oh well, the standards of this Q weren’t very high to begin with. Perhaps that’s why so many felt the need to knee jerk attacking you on the grounds that they know better than you not being “baffled”.
Hey @@john65penniington… thanks for trying to shoot straight with the girl and help her out. Not everyone does that. You’re a good neighbor and I’m honored to know there are people like you in the world who give a damn about their neighbors.