You know it's going to be a great story when it starts off with..."So this bitch..." Got any funny starters?

“We started drinking (insert potent alcohol)....”

“She was the sort of woman who would do anything on a dare, and… ”

…did a crap on my lawn again. I’m gonna have to start posting them through my neighbor’s postbox if they keep letting her out.

Going for the obvious answer that nobody has said yet for some reason:
“This one time at band camp…”

“So this priest was chasing me…” is my favorite one. Or as an ending “then the priest chased me”...was when my friends started listening.

“So yesterday I was alone and…”

“Hey you guys, watch this…”

This one tine at a Phish concert…...

LMAO @augustlan

That one usually ends up with someone in a cast! LOL!

Yeah, sorry… any story that begins with “So this bitch…” is probably going to prompt me to respond with a blank stare followed by “I need to go talk to someone else now.”

@dappled_leaves

That hadn’t occurred to me, but I do believe you’re correct.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Hey man, I would have thought of that.

But besides that, we all know that anything that starts with two robots high fiving each other is gonna be some epic shit.

Also; So, I was up in this bitch when…

The last thing I remember was…