Parents: Do you ever get use to seeing your children in a relationship?

My 15yr old son is 10 month into a relationship with his first girlfriend, must be doing something right.
I’m used to it/her because they make a great couple. Long may it continue.

I am really happy with the men my daughters chose. Sometimes I’m in awe of how well they navigate the ups and downs of marriage.
Sometimes it still freaks me out that those little babies I carried have babies of their own.
Another uncomfortable thing for me was when my daughter was talking candidly to me about sex. She sensed my discomfort and said “Mom, I never took you for a prude.”
I told her that I am a visual person and I really didn’t want to visualize my baby having sex.

@Judi LOL, I was the same way with my daughter. I thought I would be totally ok to talk about it till the day we had a candid sex conversation. Then my mind started playing the la, la, la, la, song in my head. I think I cleaned my kitchen counter like 50 times.

I pretty much enjoyed seeing my son’s interact with their girlfriends when they were “good” ones and tend not to picture them – or anyone else – having sex, although I was the one who talked to them about sex more than my husband. Now that my older son is married, I love seeing him and his wife because they are so good for each other.

My daughter was in a bad relationship twice with the same loser…so I’m actually excited for her to find someone worthy of her. She never has a problem finding good guys, but that door swings both ways with her. Her dad can’t stand that she’s wanting a good long term relationship, I however am looking forward to her being happy with someone good for her!

Edit: “sons”

My son’s in a relationship with girl I really like and am comfortable with—which is really a good thing because she lives with us.

I have taken in a good number of people needing a place to live over the past years, so the adjustment wasn’t an issue. Having her around reminds me that there are different ways to grow up and I don’t always agree with what she does, but remind myself that she’s just behaving in the way she was raised. The toughest part is staying neutral in their arguments when they both talk to me about the other—I told them they had to figure it out because I wouldn’t always be around to translate their misunderstandings or referee their arguments!

I am not a parent, but my father does not seem to be entirely comfortable with anyone I date, ever. I don’t tell him when I enter a relationship because, no matter what he says, I feel like he won’t accept any guy I am interested in unless the guy has the same beliefs as he does. While my mother seems more open, she tells my Dad too much (which is understandable, seeing as she’s his wife). I don’t tell her, either.

[I hope you don’t mind this answer as I know your thread is directed at parents, but I wanted to offer my perspective as a “child”.]

I wish I had your problem, it would be nice to say yes. Why can’t my son just be just like me for C-sake, maybe better, but not too much. I think a lot of egotistical inclinations come to bear, at least for me. I know he has his whole life to entangle himself in counterproductive relationships, so there is a positive he hasn’t started early in a testosterone barrel roll.

^^ How do you know he hasn’t? He might have, but just doesn’t tell you about it. I’m not saying that to be mean or anything, but it seems like some parents think they know everything about their children (when that is not necessarily true). The more you say “No”, the more likely a child will not tell you when he or she is interested in someone… unless he or she is super duper obedient and follows your every rule, maybe.

You are totally right.
We have an inner non verbally communicative relationship which is enough for me.
I am intuitive, and so is he, but he more so. It kind of reminds me of the black and white film “Sidhartha”, that is the best way I can express it.

@Pandora ,you never explained why you asked.

Just came back from a week with my son, his wife and my grandson in a very small apartment. I got to see them up close and personal and I couldn’t be happier with their relationship. I wish my marriage had been as loving and supportive a one as theirs is. My son is a wonderful husband; we must have done something right!

Oh, sorry @Judi. I totally forgot. Well my daughter is in a new relationship and I realized it bugged me a bit. I couldn’t quiet understand why when I absolutely love this guy. He treats her like gold and is very nice and gets along well with everyone. He is smart and hard working and is ideal for her in every way. Its what I always wished for her. They both just match each other so well. Many of her past bo’s where either not good enough for her or I couldn’t see how they would have anything in common. Personality wise she is vivacious, gregarious, kind, intelligent, beautiful inside and out but she would date some guys that could literally suck the joy out of breathing. She has always been the type of person who loves to rescue animal and humans from their misery. Only with time they would suck the joy out of her life and some of them never even really appreciated her.
Well finally she has hit gold and he is an old friend from college that she has reconnected with. They understand each other perfectly and he is as possitive a person as she is. His family and friends and her friends are all dropping the married question because they think they each have met their perfect match.
So, I didn’t understand why I didn’t feel totally joyous. I was waiting for the day she would finally find someone suitable for her. Someone who can add joy to her life and no drama.
I think its because I always knew the other guys wouldn’t work out and I feel this one may be the real deal and maybe that is what is making me feel uncomfortable.
I still don’t know. I was never the possessive type of mom. I loved her and was always happy when others loved her too and she loved them. Even when she was a baby. I never got jealous of her affections for anyone else. Still not jealous. The only thing I can think of is that maybe I’m afraid that if things don’t work out with this guy that it really has the potential to cause her more harm than any other relationship in the past. I see a glint in both their eyes when they are together. I can honestly say I’ve never seen her so happy in a relationship.
I just wonder if things do work out between them and he does become family, will I ever get over this uncomfortable feeling.

^^ Awwwww. That’s sweet. :)

It sounds like you’re afraid of the unknown. It also sounds like you might be scared that “it’s too good to be true”. If their affection for each other grows over time in a healthy way (way past what seems like it might be some kind of honeymoon stage) and they get closer instead of drifting further apart and still include you in their lives, I think you will feel better about this whole thing!

@AnonymousGirl I hope that is the case.

@Pandora I just came back from visiting my son for a week and I was so happy to see the love between him and his wife. When they are with the right one and you see them flourishing in a marriage, it is a joy.