Living your unlived life: How do you cope with unrealized dreams?

Meh! They were all speculative, just hopes, intentions, dreams. It seems, looking back, that things were going to go their own way. But how was I to know back then?

My advice to all you following after : Do your best, but go with the flow also.

For a good 15 years, I didn’t cope well. I was frustrated, bitter, unsure of my self identity. It was a bunch of arrrrrrgh and the partners I had didn’t think it was any big deal because it’s not something they’d ever been exposed to, they seemed to kind of expect me to forget what I ever had, did and was.

Many years later, I’m ok with those things, some of which I can still have if I want, kind of moving things around on a boards is all, priortizing. I never before imagined I’d have to wait towards retirement years but now that I’ve reached the in-between point, I definitely still want what I want!

Unless you have become physically disabled and severely limited in your choices (which happens, of course, is shitty, and requires a different strategy)...

The best way is
Do not abandon them
Keep them concrete in your vision of your own future
Do not stop developing them

I know all about this. The above is correct.

I struggled with this for a long time, too. I had this vision of how I should be, and what things I should be doing and my actual self and life never measured up. It was a pretty big part of the reason I was depressed, I think. Therapy helped me come to terms with my reality, to be happy with myself as I really am. I still have dreams, and I hope to accomplish at least some of them at some point in my life, but I am no longer miserable at the thought that it may never happen.

Because I know that a lot of those things I can still do as I get older, it’s a matter of making the time. And the dreams about “stuff” aren’t really all that important.

It’s never too late for a number of things. I can learn to speak Italian or play the recorder or plant lettuces until the day I die.

@saint nailed it for me. If a dream was important and it still is, then it is still my dream and still on my list of things to achieve. Why do you have to abandon something you still want to do or achieve? I have lots of things I haven’t yet managed to get around to doing, but I still want to do them. Write a list and start checking them off. Places to see, things to learn…

My dreams have evolved or been replaced by other, more timely dreams. I abandon nothing, but ultimately try to be flexible and realistic about my life.

As it stands, I’ve accomplished a fair number of my dreams in 40 years. I figure I got about another 40 to go. I’m sure I’ll get to some more.

Some dreams you just have to let go. Others you have to reshape. Others you might acknowledge as never having been possible. You mourn, you grieve, you move on to new dreams.

Whether we are content or not a key thing to remember is that each and everyone of us is much greater than the sum total of the actual lives we are living. We are spirit and therefore capable of infinity. Of course we only have a few short decades to express in this world but that is what eternity is for!