(NSFW) A question about birth control specifics...

That particular statistic does go with a guy cumming inside you, no condom.

The statistics are for using that method correctly and singularly. Pulling out is considered its own BC method, with its own rate of success. So statistics for diaphragms are for when there’s no pulling out, no condoms, no oral BC, no IUD, etc. Statistics for condoms are for condoms alone, not paired with oral BC, diaphragms, IUD, pulling out, etc. And then there are subsets of statistics – like for condoms with spermacide, and condoms with pulling out.

Yes, these are assuming that your partner is ejaculating inside you. Withdrawal is considered a type of birth control on its own (effective when done correctly, but difficult to do correctly!)

Do you take your pill regularly and rarely miss days? If so, you are very well-protected against pregnancy. Your body is not ovulating (making an egg available for fertilization) so you can’t get pregnant.

For what it’s worth, though, if you just aren’t comfortable with your dude coming inside you, please don’t feel pressured to do it.

@Aethelflaed @nikipedia That is exactly what I thought!! Hurray, spectacular.

@deni I’ve never come across someone that doesn’t let the guy cum inside of her. One lover wanted to know exactly when I was going to cum so she could concentrate on the feeling.

@Adirondackwannabe Well, now you have, haven’t you :)

@Aethelflaed Yup, now I have.

I’m glad I’ve never had to deal with that.

@FutureMemory, pulling out or getting pregnant?

Wearing a condom on a regular basis.

@Adirondackwannabe Ha that’s hilarious. I just never gave it any thought I guess! Well, welcome me into the 21st century.

That statistic assumes that some semen will end up inside you. It also is regarding perfect use. Perfect use means that you take the pill at the same time every day, you don’t take any other drugs which might interfere with it, and you don’t vomit. So many people get pregnant while using the pill because they are lax with the time.

Agreeing with @Soupy on the side notes.
And regarding a guy coming inside you, that’s a personal thing. I’ve never had a problem with it or told a guy no (as long as I was on the pill), but from the guys I have spoken with, it means more to them (like a girl swallowing). Coming inside a woman with nothing stopping his semen can be very intimate for both people. It’s kind of like giving yourself to one another. It also makes the orgasm stronger for the guy because he is still getting stimulation while cumming instead of none if he pulls out.

Almost every man I’ve slept with has told me when he was cumming (with all orifices), so that I could decide if I wanted them to cum inside me. This leads me to believe that pulling out is pretty common, that tons of women (especially of our generation) prefer men to pull out (at least in the beginning stages of a relationship), and that you definitely wouldn’t be abnormal or weird or whatever to prefer a guy cumming outside you.

The only peope I’ve ever heard of using the “pull out” method are young teenagers who either don’t know how to use birth control, or get caught up in the heat of the moment and don’t have any birth control on hand, but have sex anyway.

The statistics for pregnancy rates with regard to birth control, are all based upon using the method/s correctly (and unfortunately even a lot of adults do not know what that means) and having the man ejaculate inside the woman. Pulling out is not truly a means of birth control, it is a method of wishing, hoping and praying and being lucky enough that the egg was not in the right place at that particular moment. The fact that the penis is inside the woman, even before he ejaculates still puts her at risk of pregnancy, because there can be some sperm in the pre-cum that trickles out before ejaculation. And as we hopefully all know by now, it only takes one sperm.

When I was in school, we had comprehensive sex education, where birth control methods, and how to use them properly were were standard (unless your parents opted you out of the class. No one I knew was opted out).

Your best bet, is to use 2 forms of birth control together, such as the pill and a condom or a diaphragm (always with spermicidal jelly) and a condom. But each of those methods still needs to be used correctly or else it’s just a crap shoot.

@Kardamom, if both methods are used correctly, withdrawal is almost as effective as condom use (4% failure rate vs 2%).

Just for the record, if you do it with a guy without a prostate you don’t ever have to worry about him withdrawing – from anywhere. No muss, no fuss.
Or so I’ve heard.

By the way, congratulations!

Ha, interesting! What are you congratulating me oN?!

Your new life. Getting out and moving on.

About a year (6 months?) ago, I could almost feel the heaviness in your writing. Hopefully, this is working out better for both of you.

@LuckyGuy Ha! I’m flattered that you remember such specifics…..yeah….things just kept getting worse and worse to the point where I was constantly annoyed and everything he said I was just like….Really? That’s the most annoying thing you could have said. Or it was just flat out wrong. I couldn’t keep carrying that weight around on my shoulders! Almost every aspect of it was bad and the worst part was for a while I started thinking there was something really wrong with me because I never wanted to have sex. I thought it must be me. Thank god I have proven myself wrong. And thank you :)

@deni Believe me, it is a relief for him, too. Just imagine for a moment what it is like to be with someone who “was constantly annoyed and everything he said I was just like….Really? That’s the most annoying thing you could have said. Or it was just flat out wrong.” He could do no right. At least you recognized it and acted.
Some people waste too much of their lives on situations like this. You didn’t. – and clearly are on the road to a new life.
That is why I said, “Congratulations”.

@LuckyGuy @deni Guys, Nice. :)

@LuckyGuy The most frustrating part was that he did not notice that I was annoyed almost all the time. He noticed sometimes, but rarely. Because that was his personality. He just didn’t notice things. Or take hints. Or pick up clues. It sounds shocking and unbelievable to be that blind to something so obvious, which is clearly part of the reason I was annoyed to begin with. So. Yes.

@Adirondackwannabe A big old thank you to you too for talking me through a lot of the problems we had, hopefully I will never have to PM you again. :) :) :)

@deni I’m always honored to receive a PM from you. Luck Lady.

HEll no, I have never had a guy some inside me. to tell you the truth, I am to much of a coward to do that.I would rather swallow, than have man come inside me. THis way I do not have to see it. And the sight of sperm makes me feel quizzy

@deedee18 You don’t see it…unless you stare at your vagina while it eventually comes out?

@deni Idk, for some strange reason, the thought makes me feel gross. IDK

@deedee18 you wouldn’t exist had some guy not… well, you see where I’m going with that.

It’s funny this should come up (sorry). Lately I’ve been wondering about the effect of porn on teen pregnancy. I hear the teen pregnancy rate has declined in the US. Could porn have anything to do with this? A young guy these days might get the impression from porn that he’s supposed to shoot his wad anywhere except inside a woman’s vagina.

@CugelTheClueless I would not say that. I do not think porn had anything to do with it. I guess it is more about how i was raised. It is more of the fear of pregnancy for me. This is coming from a girl whom thought all men were disgusting. I was the girl who was afraid of anything that had to do with males. Even today I still get nervous around men.

@CugelTheClueless If you watch porn you’ll also see that all men are hairless, like smacking round protuberances, are packing at least a 7” pepperoni, and take forever to cum.
How disappointed they all will be in real life.