Why has breastfeeding in public become such a huge deal over the last couple of years?

‘Cause too many people these days automatically associate breasts with sex, regardless of the context.

But they were far worse in the 80’s about that kind of stuff…there was MUCH more censorship then than there is today.

How much porn did people watch in the 80s?

A lot. Of course. Penthouse, Playboy, Adult Theaters. Adult shops. Everything they have now, except the internet.

The web makes porn more accessible, doesn’t it? Was the porn then really as exposed as it is now?

Yes.

In the last thirty years, certain people in the world have made being offended into an art. For every thing you do – and it doesn’t matter whether it is crossing the street or wearing a blue t-shirt, there is some constituency who will make a stink and pretend to be offended,

My opinion is that the act of being offended is actually a cry for help from an insecure person who wants some sort of attention, and the role of offended victim is an easy one to learn.

Of course, there are others who invoke religion just to be obnoxious and try and lend a religious patina to their narrow-mindedness.

@Dutchess_III I know that the society I live in is really sexualized. I mean, there are sexualized movies, magazines, and even sexualized slang. Young people seem to talk way more openly about sex now than people seemed to when my parents were younger. Nakedness seems to become more and more associated with sex, especially if it’s considered a “private” naked area.

What about the place you live?

Maybe moms like feeling marginalized and getting a bunch of attention for it.

Just a theory.

GA @elbanditoroso! Excellent! And another thing that has become much more common is “I have a right to!” If anyone had told me that they found what I was doing offensive, I would have simply moved. No fuss. But no one did.

@AnonymousGirl Absolutely nothing has changed in our sex-crazed societies over the last 3000 years. People who are into porn, S&M, bondage, whatever will find it no matter what age they live in. In fact…when I see 70’s and 80’s movies there is actually much MORE sexual overtones than they have today! When I was a kid I don’t recall any of us being stupid enough of taking compromising Polaroids of ourselves and giving it to others to pass around. Maybe we just had more common sense.

@nikipedia Excellent too.

@AnonymousGirl – I’m not convinced that breastfeeding is about sex (to the complainers). I think it’s more about nakedness. There is a percentage of the population that is literally scare of their own skin. They don’t accept that we all have skin under our clothes – every one of us.

I’m aware of some women who won’t even appear unclothed for their husbands…

In a round about way it IS about sex @elbanditoroso..all nakedness is. Ahhh Freak Out!!

@Dutchess_III I understand the points you’re trying to make, but I do feel that things have changed. If they haven’t, why would there be enough people to notice who find it socially unacceptable to breastfeed a baby publicly?

@elbanditoroso It is possible that you’re right. However, I’m going off the guys who really do associate seeing breasts with sex. It could be a nakedness issue as well. Is it really, though? Then why are those same guys okay with seeing cleavage? Why is that nakedness okay? Because it sexually stimulates them? Are breasts only for their pleasure and they can’t handle the idea that breasts are for more than that? Also, some of these same people seem to think that children are going to get the wrong idea by seeing a breast fully bared. As if!

Personally, I don’t see a problem with breastfeeding publicly and I think people who do are overreacting. A baby being fed should not be considered inappropriate just because someone doesn’t want to see a mother feeding her baby.

@AnonymousGirl – Some years ago I had the pleasure of visiting Australia and going to a beach – It was not a topless beach or a nude beach, just a regular old beach where there were groups of men, groups of women, couples, families, grandparents – the works. Many – but by no means all – of the women, of all ages. were topless. No one cared. No one gawked. Men didn’t walk around with erections. Women weren’t flaunting themselves – some were laying on their backs, others on their fronts, getting the sun. Again, it was perfectly natural and – no one cared.

I think the underlying problem is that the US is too frigging uptight and puritan about the human body. If more women (and men) walked around unclothed, then it wouldn’t appear “special” and noteworthy. The whole reason anyone makes a stink is because a naked person is unusual. If you take away the unusualness, no one cares.

@AnonymousGirl I honestly think someone is just either A) wanting attention (the mothers) or B) Wanting to make a moral fuss over Something which it really Nothing Because They Have Nothing Else To Do and they Want to Feel Important. They could just as easily turn the unisex bathrooms into a battle, and it would make about as much sense. And, unfortunately, too many people are taking the bait. Too many people are jumping on the bandwagon instead of just ignoring them.

People DO seem to want much more attention nowadays than they used too. Big bunch of babies, is how I see it! (Um….not referring to the actual babies, you understand. :)

Oh! Excellent @elbanditoroso!

Because people’s lives today are too good, too easy, and so they feel the need to moan, bitch, and complain about things that otherwise they wouldn’t care about.

Yep yep yep! We’re getting to the heart of it @MrItty!

@elbanditoroso Yes, I definitely agree that people in the U.S. can come across as uptight and puritan. Same with Canada, actually. What you said reminds me of a conversation I had with one of my guy friends. To him, if a girl walks around in her home with only a bra and pants on, that is sexual, even if it means nothing sexual at all. His attitude is pretty normal in these parts. If it is found out that a family is used to walking around naked in any way that is considered “inappropriate” around here and that is normal for them, it is automatically assumed that sex must be going on or someone might be tempted, even if that is the furthest thing from the truth. If a woman breastfeeds her baby in public, she might get dirty looks and be treated disrespectfully for feeding her baby because “she’s not thinking about the children.” It seems like people think children will be harmed psychologically for life just for seeing a mother doing something as decent as feeding her baby. It’s like animals are treated better than people. Imagine these same people telling a foal’s or a filly’s mother off for daring to feed her baby in front of young children. It’s ridiculous. Maybe they need to be told this.

“If you take away the unusualness, no one cares.”

Very good point!

@Dutchess_III That makes sense. Yes, I do understand. Real babies have more sense. They know it means nothing more than they’re hungry and being fed. :)

@MrItty Perhaps. ^_^

The thing is, AnonGirl, there is no reason for anyone, children, adults, whomever, to even know that you’re nursing, even if they walk right past you. Someone is making it a big deal where it wasn’t before, and I’d really like to know why.

^^ That’s true. However, people are judged, even if they don’t make a big deal about it with demonstrations. If it was an animal nursing her baby, the complainers wouldn’t care that much and get on with their day. If it’s a human, that somehow makes it different?

No one judged me.

But you breastfed years ago, when it was different…

There was more openness 30 years ago. Most of these incidents will go away.

But it wasn’t different then @AnonymousGirl. If anything, people were even more uptight and anal than they are now.

@marinelife I don’t think there was more openness then. I think there was less. However, I think there was a lot more discretion and basic politeness than there is now. You didn’t hear about people suing because they got kicked off a bus or a plane for being an asshole. You could EXPECT to be kicked off and nobody was going to feel sorry for you. I think people today are much ruder, much more immature, much more “What about MEEEEEEEE” whining, rather than more “open.”

Yes, but my sisters who are young mothers don’t seem to have the same experience you have had. They understand the effect of the dirty looks, the frustration, etc, that women who breastfeed publicly have experienced. That doesn’t mean it happens to everyone, of course, but I think you’re being quite dismissive of the people who actually have experienced that, as if they are making it up, when they quite possibly aren’t… and all because you didn’t experience the same.

But are they making it really obvious that they’re preparing to nurse the baby, even though they know some idiots might be offended? I got ready, under the blanket that was usually already there anyway, one handed, in a matter of about 5 seconds, without missing a beat in the conversation. That’s my point. I didn’t experience it because…no one knew! (it was such a habit after 2 kids in two years. When my baby, who is now 24, was about six months old, I was working in the nursery at church. I was holding a baby, and it started fussing, so I whip whip whup! Without thinking, while I was talking to another mother when…something just wasn’t right. Something didn’t feel right….I peeked under the blanket and the kid was going WTH??? Oh SHIT! It wasn’t my baby! And it wasn’t a breast fed baby!! I laughed so hard! :) So did the other mother! :) Sorry kid!

Where I live, there are people who still don’t like it, even if the mothers do exactly what you suggested. There are people who seem to think breastfeeding of any kind is a private matter between a mother and her baby and that the two should go hide away in a washroom, no matter how discreet the mother tries to be.

Y’know, the “unusual” point @elbanditoroso brought up is looking more and more likely to me, at least where I live. It is unusual to see a mother breastfeeding her child publicly around here, so a mother breastfeeding her child does get noticed, even if she’s using a blanket and not going out of her way to make it obvious what she’s doing…

Hmm…

But…how can people not like something they don’t even know about? How can they be offended by something they don’t even know is happening? That’s my point…are SOME mothers making a big deal of the fact that they’re nursing in public, even though they know there are fools who might be offended, just so they can get some attention? Why can’t they just do their job and move on?

I’d say nursing in public is no more unusual than it used to be. I’d say there are some women today, though, who are making a big deal out of it, which makes it seem unusual…when it isn’t and never has been. I’ll be there are hundreds of women nursing all around us, and nobody even knows.

People aren’t that stupid and can be much more observant than you give credit for. You make it sound like everyone is oblivious to their surroundings. That’s not the case. There are a lot of nosy people around here who think everyone else’s life is their business. A mother doesn’t have to be making a big deal out of nursing in public for someone else to notice her behaviour. Maybe in the past, people were more likely to mind their own business… I don’t know. I am only 21 years old.

My husband’s answer to this question is one, succinct word: “Perverts!”

Well, people were just as likely to get up in other people’s business then. Remember the abortion wars in Wichita? No…you don’t. I had a girlfriend who was really active in the anti-abortion issue, and honestly, she disgusted me. Wichita has always been a hotbed on that issue, thanks to the righteous, hypocritical busy bodies. Tiller was from Wichita.

I just think people worry about stupid, stupid stuff now, more than they used to. They just want to tell everybody what’s right….According To Them.

My city has been called the #1 city for the worst neighbours (neighbours who complain the most about their neighbours). That’s how bad people don’t seem to know how to mind their own business around here. It has a reputation for people who go as far as calling the city to complain about their neighbours the most out of every other city in the country. I know that has more to do with neighbour issues and less to do with breastfeeding, but… well, they do say that “Charity begins at home.” If people here are that rude about their neighbours, it only makes sense that their bad attitudes carry out from home. I remember one of our maids once asked me if we had a nosy neighbour and that one of them snitched (she didn’t use that word) on them for dumping a pail of water outside, even though the products that maid service uses are compatible with nature so that they do not harm the environment. There are too many eyes just looking for ways to run people down who aren’t doing anything wrong! Ahh!

I like what your husband had to say. “Perverts.” Yeah, that makes sense. Why else would they think breastfeeding a baby in public is wrong?

Although people may have been more “sexaphobic” back then… You have to consider the state of our society. Think of ANY old movie that’s been redone over the last few years. Everything is being censored and kiddied up MORE than it was in the 80’s. The thought that things are rougher and tougher now is a misnomer… I mean, really… Think about a Disney movies between now and then. When did “damn” become a bad word? When did legitimately traumatic events end up being filtered out of scripts? Our society is all about PC now. Hence, having your breasts out in public with someone sucking on them (no matter what the circumstance) is not PC.

p.s. – that last sentence is not how I see it, just a dramatization of my point.

Outside of Fluther, I’ve never once had a conversation with anyone about breastfeeding.

In my experience, it isn’t a “huge deal”. Either you choose to breastfeed, or you don’t.

And, of those I’ve seen breastfeed, discretion has always been employed (no bare boobs whipping about).

I’ve not known anyone to judge this action one way or the other…until Fluther.

^^ A person may still consider a breast “bare”, even if a blanket is covering it, and be paranoid about the idea of a child still seeing it. I know. Totally ridiculous.

^^ Yeah, kinda silly.

People don’t always make sense. :)

I don’t know that people were any better or worse 10, 20 or 30 years ago with keeping their comments to themselves when seeing a nursing mother. I think that those people are the exception and not the norm though. The only difference, I suspect, is the Internet and our ability through social media to organize and get the message out. Thus what happens is I get to hear about a breastfeeding mom in the southern US who rallies the troops so to say. Fifteen years ago I wouldn’t have heard about that but that doesn’t mean that some mom some where wasn’t discriminated against. She just didn’t have a platform and the ability to call the troops.

^^ That is very possible. Complainers are often the loudest, after all. :)

I honestly think it’s because there has been such a push to get more women to breastfeed these days. Now, I don’t now how it was 30 years ago, but I don’t think there was as much of a breastfeeding campaign as there is now. I think that, while the breastfeeding campaign has been helpful, it has made some women feel like they are less of a woman or that they are evil if the can’t/don’t breastfeed. I think this feeling leads to those moms having issues with other mom’s breastfeeding in public. Now, I’m not saying all nonbreastfeeding moms have a problem with breastfeeding, just that I think this divide that we seem to have developed between the two may be a cause for some of the tension. As a mom that could not breastfeed, I know there were times that I was made to feel very badly that my baby was on formula at the time.

A lot of it may have to do with the rise of social media and the frustration with Facebook censoring pictures of nursing mothers while leaving some pretty steamy explicite pictures. It has made a lot of people mad.

I don’t get it either. It’s like, people want to see boobs constantly, but when boobs are shown, it’s this big fuckin scandal. Search me.

I just read this – thought you’d find it interesting.

People are so damn dumb, aren’t they @Simone_De_Beauvoir!