What would you do if you found yourself living in this situation? (Details inside)

Be sure you have a place to go first and, it would be nice if you could find a new room mate for her, as well. I think you could have a good talk with her about your conflicting problems. You’re both struggling, in a way, and while it may be a good arrangement for her, it isn’t for you. And good luck.

Talk to her and tell her the truth, sort of like the way you explained it here.

“I am considering moving out but am concerned that this will be hurtful as we are close so I will have to be honest about why I want to leave.”

You already know what to do.

Sometimes Fluther is a catalyst for helping and understanding. I would show her this thread. It shows well enough that you care but you understand that two unhealthy people living together does not make for a cure and as misery loves company you know that deep down what you should do, for the benefit of you both. I do not doubt that it will be very hard and I hope only the best for you and your friend but you know the answer. If I were you, I would go, although that is not an easy thing to do. Moving is very stressful and under those conditions, even more so. Best of luck to you two.

Maybe you should try flipping to where you tell her that you need some help. Tell her that it’s getting hard for you to come home and not be able to relax or feel comfortable with the negativity going on. Hopefully, that will spark a healthy conversation where the both of you can stress concerns. Communication is key for a healthy relationship and household. Make sure to stress to her that its going to take a team effort to turn all this negativity around and that your willing to do whatever it takes.

You need to do what is necessary to take care of yourself. Do not sacrifice yourself for her addictions.

She needs to hit bottom to address her problems. Your moving out and honestly saying it is because you cannot live with her as she is will help. At the same time you say she is a close friend – you can tell her you’ll help if she wants to get cleaned up.

So move out, and offer her help if she needs it. Take care of yourself.

Good luck.

Focus on YOU. You can be supportive from a distance. Get out of a toxic environment.

As others have stated, be sure you have a place to go, then sit down and tell her why you are leaving. Tell her the truth. You seem to have a few problems yourself and having her “dump her problems on you”, will never end and could make your problems even worse.

As I see it, you only have one choice and that is to leave.

Being around negative vibes can and will make your life miserable.

Thank you all for your responses. I needed the encouragement to ensure leaving is the right thing for me to do. I do feel somewhat guilty but as you’ve stated, I need to put myself first if I want to be healthy.

I’d go. I agree with the others you must put yourself first. Feeling for situation is separate from doing what’s best for yours and hopefully she’ll be able to respect this.