When do you think a person is truly ready to have sex?

When they are unafraid to have frank and thorough discussions about it with their partner prior to engaging in sexual activity.

I have done that with him a few times… thanks for your response:)

When he or she is mature enough. I reckon between the age of 18–22.

@Julietxx3 You are welcome. I hesitate to give ages because, other than issues relating to physical health for pre-pubescent women, I don’t think that age particularly matters. Be open, be honest, be sure that he satisfies you as much as you satisfy him—and, of course, be careful. But don’t be afraid.

@savoirfaire I was afraid before and that’s how I knew I wasn’t ready. I am actually surprised by how much I want to do it and how I am not afraid anymore! And so you know our ages… I am 16 and he is 18.

@Julietxx3 Are you in your 40’s or 50’s?

@lloydbird no I am not… I am a teenage, still in high school.

@Julietxx3 Physically, you should be fine; and emotionally, you sound ready to me. Just keep a good sense of humor about yourself. The first time is often awkward. You may or may not bleed, you may or may not experience pain. I would hope that you know most of these things already, but you might not. Be clear about what you’re interested in doing, what is and is not okay, and you should be fine.

The only thing that worries me is the bleeding! But thank you so much for opinion I really appreciate it! And I communicate very well with him and he respects how I feel so I think if I do go through with it it’ll go very well, other than the pain!

@Julietxx3 – not all women bleed, or experience a great deal of pain. That is not a part of the first sexual experience – it’s an old wives tale, for most women.

Just use a condom. Please.

Oh trust me there is no chance of me doing it without condom. And thanks that makes me feel a lot less nervous!

@Julietxx3 Late 30’s…, early 60’s..?

@lloydbird I’m 16!

I like what @SavoirFaire said. Not only is it important to be able to talk to the person you’re having sex with about so many different aspects of intimate relations (protection, STDs, what happens if you got pregnant?) but it also shows a level of maturity. It isn’t the easiest thing to talk about especially when you’re young and I think if you are uncomfortable asking him to put on a condom or anything like that, you probably shouldn’t be having sex. I think 16 is a really average and generally alright age to lose your virginity, just do it safely. You say you’ve been with the guy for a while, and that’s more than most kids can say at that age!

And by the way, it isn’t painful for everyone! :) So don’t worry too much!

@deni I’ve told him before that if we ever decide to have sex I refuse to do it unless he is using a condom, and he agreed. So I think we both are being very mature about it and making sure we don’t rush into anything. Thanks for your advice!

Though I agree with @SavoirFaire, you may also consider the laws of your state, as not to unwittingly get the person you want to be with in a great deal of trouble. You’ve waited this long. It may be noble to consider waiting until everything is perfectly legal in the eyes of the law.

When you are prepared to take financial and social responsibility for a child born of unintended pregnancy.

When you are prepared to abort an unintended pregnancy if you know you cannot take on financial and social responsibility for a child.

When you are in acceptance an inintended pregnancy doesn’t make anyone fall in love or become responsible who isn’t already responsible or in love.

When you are in acceptance sex doesn’t make anyone fall in love if they’re not in love already.

That you are asking this question says a lot about your maturity. Good for you. Whether ‘you’ are ready for sex is a question only you can finally answer, but all the advice above is good and will help you decide.

I am not trying to make him fall in love with me, it has nothing to do with him liking me more or anything like that. This is completely and totally my choice. But you do make a very good point, thank you!

@Bellatrix I was just looking for your opinions and yes I am not 100% sure of myself or 100% mature, but I think I maybe be ready very soon. Thanks for your opinion:)

You are ready to have sex when you are able to take on all of the responsibility. What will you do for protection (from pregnancy and disease)? What will you do if he drops you once he has gotten you in bed? Do you love him? Can you envision a life with him?

when they become 100 years old, and not a moment earlier.

He is 18 and you are 16 which means, depending on where you live, even if you consent, he could be charged with statutory rape if your parents find out and don’t like the idea . . .

Why not wait for Mr. Right? Just because you have the urge, does not mean you have to follow through with it.

Be different than all the other girls. Save your virginity for the right guy, AFTER YOU ARE MARRIED.

The thing to remember is that there is NO form of birth control that is guaranteed 100% reliable. Therefore when you have intercourse you are taking the risk of becoming pregnant. That is your major consideration in making a decision. What would you do if you became pregnant, do you want to have a child at your age, would you have an abortion, who would pay in either case? It is ultimately your decision, but how does your partner feel about your choice in this matter?

Unless you are ready for this, I would stick with everything but actual intercourse, save that for later when pregnancy would not be quite so life altering.

First of all, do not wait until marriage. It is disrespectful to yourself and it is disrespectful to your partner. Sex is an important part of marriage, and it shows a lack of maturity and understanding to jump into such an important commitment without knowing if you are sexually compatible with your spouse.

Second, I suppose I should have foreseen the age of consent issue arising here. Personally, I am a strong supporter of age of consent reform. As it has not happened yet, however, it is worth looking into what the age of consent is wherever you are living and whether or not there is a close-in-age exception. Honestly, though, you’re probably fine regardless.

When he or she is mature enough to accept the potential consequences for his or her actions. Oh, and of course it’s wise for it to be legal… and consensual!

You want to have sex with him for no other reason than you want to have sex with him.
You’re ready.

In my state, your boyfriend could get picked up for statutory rape for having sex with you. Just so you know.

It’s up to you when you feel ready. Personally I don’t want to until I know that accidentally getting pregnant wouldn’t ruin my life. Just be safe.

Thanks for all your responses and I will take all if this advice under consideration… I do think I am ready and am more sure of myself. I think I may wait a while longer just to make sure I am making the right decision. thanks for all your help:)

@john65pennington Save your virginity for the right guy, AFTER YOU ARE MARRIED.
Simply marrying someone does not necessarily mean they are the right person, I think the whole concept of one right person is a fallacy, the world is a big place.

Such wise words @Mariah! I think that should be the standard for all young people of both genders.

When he or she understands all the consequences.