How do we decide the boundaries of topics that would be sexual and those that wouldn't be?

I always figure if I have to consider putting NSFW, it’s better to just do it and be on the safe side.

I always keep the (virtual) ‘touchy’ Jelly in mind whenever I want to ask a question that is sexual laden/has sex as a subject.
First it has to be a sexual subject to me then, of course.
Then I lower the boundary as to please that said ‘touchy’ member pun intended.

We don’t decide, as someone will be offended by something no matter what. I mean, I guess we could cater to the most sensitive and sheltered of people, but then Fluther would suck.

Like a complete buffoon, I recall asking my first NSFW question, back in 2009 I think, and I had used the tag because the question was about whether or not you were happy at work! Bless! (My naivety was soon pointed out!)

^That is a GREAT story.

Clearly people don’t know what those letters mean when they first get here. Is there some way of making it more obvious?

I may have been particularly naive as fluther was (and still is) the only q&a site I frequent…

As a new mod, I think a good way to judge is to try to image the reader (a teacher) is in a classroom with 10 year old children. If the headmaster or a child were to look over their shoulder would they see anything in the question that might give them reason to complain?

It is a judgement call. I have a very dirty mind so the word fingering caught me out. I asked someone to change that. It was pointed out to me, fingering could mean playing a guitar and of course that is true. :-) If in doubt, we can always ask other mods and if you disagree, you can always bring it to our attention.

Since I am actually very liberal, I probably go too far the other way at times in terms of trying to gauge ‘what could be construed as offensive’.

I do think the NSFW tag is appropriate and sufficient. It is a warning that the content may not be for all readers and if you progress from there, you have accepted that risk. Putting it in full probably wouldn’t be a bad idea and it would remove any possibility a person could open the question accidentally. I do think though, once open, most people can judge if the content is for them or not. If it isn’t, close it and move on.

@Bellatrix Are there lists of forbidden words, or are all words considered in context? For example, is “sex” a word that can not appear in a title of a question? Can it not appear in the title of a NSFW question? Or does it depend on context? A few hypotheticals:

Should SEX education be taught in schools?
NSFW Should SEX education be taught in schools?
NSFW Should S*X education be taught in schools?
NSFW Should intimacy education be taught in schools?
Should sex be taught in schools?
Should intimacy be taught in schools?
NSFW Should intimacy be taught in schools?

I’m not for catagorizing or banning any topics or questions but I would like a “hide” feature so I can minimize a particular post from showing up in the mainscreen here. People putting NSFW in posts is ok but you still see the whole title of a question. Some of these I like to read and/or participate in but only when no one is around to oversee. I’d also like a “Hide” feature for user avatars, same reason. A gif of adisembodied and heavily tatooed butt you aren’t quite sure is a butt was ok since no one gets that’s close to my computer but a pic of a user, bare butt included compromised my being allowed to websurf at work.

@Wundy, to my knowledge there is no list. It is a judgement call. I seem to recall a mod saying some words trip porn filters more than others. I often don’t even notice sex in the title. It isn’t something that worries me at all, I accept and agree it isn’t an offensive word. Still, if it being in a title gets someone in trouble at work, I would rather be cautious. Also, look at the debate about whether NSFW questions should be allowed generally or should be segregated. There has to be some method to alert people to potentially offensive material within a discussion. The only way to do that at this point is with a tag and carefully worded questions that avoid causing offence.

As mods we have to try to find some middle ground. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I am sure I do not and will not always get it right. Still, we have to try to find some balance between very sensitive members and very liberal members. In just the same way as I do not agree with censoring NSFW questions, I also think those who want to ask questions that could be construed as offensive by some should make sure their opening description both alerts people to the content within and doesn’t cause offence along the way.

If you have a better suggestion, put it forward. How would you meet the needs of such a diverse community? Keeping in mind there are no changes going to be made to the structure of the site?

@wundayatta I think using adult, in quotes (“adult”), tends to be a good substitute for sex. Everyone knows what you mean (and if they’re confused if you mean drinking, drugs, or sex, they can open the question), but it doesn’t technically say sex. Or you reword it a bit more vaguely and put (details) – like, “what should schools teach in regards to this activity (details)?”. But I like saying “adult” and then clarifying in the details exactly which word “adult” is substituting for here.

You can try to define boundaries…but we’re jellies. Slippery by nature.

One minute we’ve got a mass debate going about finer points of grammar and next thing you know some cunning linguist chimes in about just how much he’d like to “predicate” another users “nominative” and well, there’s no stopping it then.

One jelly interjects all over another’s main body and usually proper mods are letting their participles dangle for everyone to see. Everywhere jellies are conjugating, their C’s hard and their O’s long. In the corner someone is busy getting their consonant palatalized while while the kinkier ones are finishing each other off with prepositions. And I can’t even figure put what HungryGuy is up to. I think it involves the instrumental case and exotic tenses, but it’s impossible to tell from this angle.

Oh, @Bellatrix. I think the system is morally and conceptually bankrupt and completely unworkable and meaningless. I would propose dumping it and I see no need to replace it with anything.

I think that it is a sop being thrown to more conservative folks and to those who somehow think sex is an inappropriate topic for public discussion. It’s bad as it is, and could only grow worse, so I’d leave it as it is.

I am simply trying to understand how other people think about this and what they think they are accomplishing it and how they propose to achieve whatever results they want. I don’t plan to help anyone further this form of censorship. I hold out some faint hope that people will engage in this discussion and come to realize there really isn’t any there there, but I’m not betting a cup of tea on that.

No. This is academic for me. I’m just trying to see how people justify these things to themselves. I have no illusions that I could ever change their points of view. If I thought that, I would be a little more engaged.