What do you do when someone you despise asks to be friends on Facebook?

I’ve totally added and de-added. You can put him on your “restricted” list in the meantime so he can’t access anything more just because he’s a friend.

Or, you can just ignore, and if asked, say “you know, I’m really friends with you, not [husband]; you’re the one that’s dear to me”.

I don’t talk to most people on facebook anyway, so unless you’re really active on there, I would friend him and just never talk to him.

I just ignore the request. Facebook doesn’t tell them you’ve ignored it, it just goes into like “friend request limbo.”
I do this often. I don’t even have to “despise” a person, sometimes I just don’t want to add people. Not adding is a lot easier than removing, I’ll tell you that much.

I had that situation with a colleague I despised. I friended her for a while and recently dropped her.

I would just not respond at all that way the friend request just says pending thats what i do… so most people think you just havent checked it yet then eventually they forget!

yeah – if you can’t stand him, then you should probably ignore it.

You’ve got the right idea! I had one of those recently. I accepted his request, blocked him from seeing all posts (so it wouldn’t be a shock when I unfriended him, since he never saw anything) then unfriended him and blocked him from being able to search for me. I planned that if he asked, I would explain that I deleted my facebook.

The tricky thing is that his wife will still see your posts, and might mention things to him. Since they live together, they’re a package deal—either you unfriend her too or let him see stuff. You could always keep the friend but send her a message and honestly tell her that you don’t want to be fb friends with her husband, so could she please keep it a secret?

Given the situation, I would just say “not now” and ignore it. If someone asks, say “Oh yeah, I saw that in passing and forgot to go back and confirm” then conveniently keep “forgetting.”

Just befriend him.
Most people understand I believe that when they get befriended on Facebook it doesn’t mean that the person adding them is giving a declaration of I adore you, you are the nicest person in the world.
It just means that they’ll now be one of the many Facebook friends of that person.
Or you can pretend that you are a Facebook noob and, in case you get asked why you didn’t add him, say that you had no idea that you, accidentally, clicked his request into oblivion :-)

I accept the request, then defriend them a few days later. It happened this week, a woman who used to work on my staff sent me a friend request last Saturday. I accepted and defriended her last night.

I have absolutely nothing in common with her, she was let go nine years ago, and I really don;t want her seeing anything about me. Instead of tweaking the privacy settings, it’s easier to just de-friend.

I reject the friend request.

If you feel like you cannot do that for some reason, however, the privacy settings allow you to make sure that his updates do not appear in your feed and that your updates do not appear in his feed. Rather defeats the point, I suppose, but it’s possible. It all depends on how much information you want to know about him and how much information you want him to be able to get about you (though he can already see whatever his wife can see if she lets him look over her shoulder).

I reject the request. The only people on my list are people I am actually friends with.

Do what people do to me. Ignore them.

Why not send him a note and plainly state that you do not like him. He will ask why. You will tell him. Discussion begins, and people are made aware of the faults they have, by those they wish to become friends with. In this way, people can change, and new friends can be made.

I’ll be the first to tell you that many of my old enemies have become the dearest and closest of friends. Many times it’s because we discover, through open dialogue, that we are actually very much alike… so much so that we find in disliking the other, we are actually attempting to reject an ugly part of ourselves.

Add, ignore, and if he bothers you, restrict, block, and/or delete.

I friended them anyways. They’re not the same person that you knew form the last time.

I had to deal with that, the wife of an old friend. The woman is so awful she makes my teeth itch. It was very early on in my FB using, so I friended her, but I haven’t thought of it since, we have so little interaction. Now I just ignore friend requests that I don’t want to deal with…

Todays answer is no to the whole family.
Once they have a foot in your front door, they will want to take over your whole house.

Do you know what I mean?

Laugh maniacally, then hit “ignore”.

Edit: Don’t add them and then delete. I’m conscious of how many friends I have, and I notice when people do that. It always pisses me off, and I wonder why they bothered – unless they just wanted to stalk me first, then ignore me.

I ignore. If asked, I would just say I’m not really friends with him.

If I don’t want to add someone, I don’t add him or her. I don’t like the idea of adding someone with the intention of deleting him or her later before I even accept the request. It seems dishonest.

@AnonymousGirl Agreed. It is dishonest.

^^ I have a feeling this girl from High School did that to me. I don’t respect her at all because of it, even though I used to think she was cool. I didn’t think she’d mind me sending her a friend request because she used to tell me how important pictures of me were so that she could remember me (for High School memories after we graduated) and she would talk to me in Art class and Media Studies like I was one of her closest friends. It’s interesting how Facebook can separate phonies from real friends. :)

I put them into a big slingshot and hurl them into the sun.

I agree, the add/delete trick is very passive-aggressive.

FB is your internet home and you have the right to keep it as you please, no explanations necessary. Don’t add the beastly man. I doubt your friend will ever ask you about it, but if she does, a simple “I chose not to” should suffice.

I only add someone if I really want to otherwise I ignore the request. If she ever asks you about it then say she is your friend but you don’t quite feel the same about her hubby, it is what it is.

I have just ignored the request, I agree, don’t be passive aggressive, just ignore.
I also deactivated my account about 9 months ago, sooo, no worries. lol