Check out this article about surrogate parents. Do you know anyone who's done something like this? What do you think about this couple's choice?

I think it’s great.

I know a woman who has carried three children as a surrogate, for the same two men. One was a single birth and the second was twins. She felt like she was doing something to really make them happy. She has access to the children, sees them once every six months or more. She has never regretted it.

I used to think I’d be a surrogate for my queer best friend and his partner. Now that it’s many years later and he does have a partner and they do want children, it’s probably not going to be who is their surrogate or whatever…seems things are complicated… the two of us are so close..that threatens his partner…if I’m the surrogate of their child, it’d create tension for them.

My daughter has a female friend who has a female partner. They each became pregnant with the same donor’s sperm and had a son and daughter who are half-siblings (and two years apart).

Not exactly relevant but an interesting story, nonetheless.

I might not be in the best position to sat this but those seem like some bad genes to be passing around all willy nilly. Wouldn’t those gay couples be better off without the intermediate? That is to say: couldn’t queers and lesbians just help each other past the whole reproductive problem?

@Zyx – Um, what? Bad genes to be passing around all willy nilly? Can you explain what that means? I’m not sure where the “bad” genes are coming from.

I very much admire those folk. I always wanted to be a surrogate for a gay or infertile couple.. until I got pregnant. I don’t think I’d go through that again unless I forgot how much being pregnant totally sucked. “Luckily” nobody wants a 40+ year old surrogate anyway.

@Zyx That is not all that unusual a situation. I know a lesbian couple that wanted kids, they knew a gay male couple that was willing to help them out and also be part of the kids lives.

So M & B each got pregnant by one of the men’s sperm; the kids are half siblings. Their dads have them one weekend a month. They see all four parents on holidays and at foot ball games and school events. They have 8 grandparents.

I don’t think much of it.

I always appreciate when someone goes out of their way to help a childless person have a child. I am grateful to the sperm donor who is KatawaGrey’s biological father, and I am especially grateful to the doctor in Seattle who, at the time, was the only one who would deal with single women. That article you linked is a lovely thing.

@Seelix Nice. Children are a wonderful gift. And damn glad to see you back. You’ve been pretty scarce on here lately.

Glad to see you, @Seelix!

This is awesome. I wonder, how do gay couples decide which of them should be the biological parent? Which of the women in the lesbian relationship takes the sperm donation to get pregnant? Which of the men in the gay relationship provides the sperm to the surrogate mother?

How selfless of this couple. Thanks for sharing.

@Adirondackwannabe – Heya to you too :) I’m hoping to drop in at least a few times a week!
@Mariah – Hiya :D
I’m not sure how the parents-to-be would decide who gets to be the biological parent. I suppose that if one partner were much older than the other, that might affect things; at least with women, as older moms are more prone to problems… I don’t know. Does anyone know anyone in this situation, and know how they decided?

A lesbian couple I knew made the decision based on the career and work schedules of the partners. The woman who did free-lance, from-home work chose to carry and lactate, simply for economic and practical reasons. The other woman’s brother was the sperm donor. It worked out very well for them. I doubt that the decision was in all aspects so practical, I suspect that the free lancer was also the more maternally inclined of the two, she certainly seemed that way. Their twins are about KatawaGrey’s age. :-)