If someone is sending you mixed signals, what do you do?
Remember back to a time you have sent someone mixed signals, what was their reaction?
EDIT: When I refer to mixed signals, I mean, both body language and what is said sometimes suggest that they are interested, but sometimes… they seem unsure themselves. And to top it off, let’s also assume they are a good friend of yours.
And what would you do if you were on the other end?
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12 Answers
I hate when people do that. Really immature.
I really try not to send mixed signals. I don’t like to play games. The overwhelming majority of people that I’ve dated have commented on my straightforwardness. It works, for me.
If someone sends me mixed signals, I make a conscious effort not to invest too much energy into trying to figure out what the hell they are doing. I’m not going to waste my time.
Maybe it’s a “Mamihlapinatapai”.
By mixed signals do you mean they act one way and then turn around and say something that counteracts what they were doing?
@Mtrencher, I like the way you phrased it. I think that is what I meant. But the actions may be subconscious, rather than intentional.
I have a theory mixed signals are usually a disconnect between short term emotions and long term plans.
The person is attracted to me strongly, or I am attracted to them strongly, but when we are not in each other’s presence we convince ourselves it is a bad idea to be with the person.
Eventually, one of us realizes that we are better off not seeing each other to avoid the roller coaster.
You have absolutely no ability in many cases to affect the person’s long term plans.
Mixed signals suck! I don’t intend to send them. A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away, an older male friend of mine got the idea that I was interested in him in a
“more than just friends” way. I was pretty clear about the situation, I even had a boyfriend at the time. I liked the company of this fellow, had a few fun things in common, but there were lots of things that were simply not compatible (mostly the age difference, life experiences and common interests) but I really appreciated his wisdom, comradeship and stability. He was like a terrific female friend, but I had absolutely no passion or sexual interest towards him and I think I made that pretty clear from the get go. Unfortunately, you sometimes have to shout in big fat words, “I think you’re nice, but I have a boyfriend and I don’t consider you to be boyfriend/husband material for XY and Z reasons!” If you don’t shout that, some people will assume that they “have a shot with you” down the road. Never lead people on to figure it out for themselves, and never assume that they will “get it” unless you spell it out, specifially. Never be mean, always be compassionate, but always be clear and specific.
I just assume they’re being friendly. I don’t want to assume something worse and be embarrased.
What @Imadethisupwithnoforethought said!
I’ve really enjoyed being with a person but not been attracted to them romantically. For me this was sketchy because when I really like someone as a friend, I’m comfortable with them physically too. Little things like hugging, hand touches or mild flirting didn’t seem laden with future purpose but I had to kibosh that to an extent, stop taking for granted the other people weren’t as comfortable with “as is”. It was a bit careless. Once I recognized that in myself then I was able to see it and also forgive it in others I’d previously thought had spun my wheels a time or two.
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