Why is it taboo in the US to ask someone how much they make?

Privacy issues what else. And so you can’t borrow money! Lol.

I think it is part of the ‘trying to be humble’ thing, and also the ‘what is mine is mine, so back the fuck off’ mentality.

I had a HUGE shock when I moved to Norway. You can look up someone’s taxable income online if you know their name and address. ALL your relatives will know what you make. I threw up a little when I saw it.

@cazzie LMFAO! Threw up!

It’s simply social protocol and programming/conditioning, based on traditional social mores.

I am a 52 year old woman and have no issue with disclosing my age, income, or other personal info. in passing conversation. I am rarely asked, but, I take no offense. I am the age I am, and, I am PROUD of it! lol

I am also proud of my quirky, bohemian lifestyle and the fact that I live my life my way without any feeling of needing to conform for the approval of others, society, whatever.

Silly really, especially the woman and age thing.

Part of the answer is that we nurture the ideal that one’s income is irrelevant to one’s worth. The reality is often different, of course, but we like to think that worth stems from character, not wealth. Asking the question, then, implies that the asker sees one’s wealth as a fundamental aspect of one’s identity, when our national ideal would have us think otherwise.

But mixed in with this is the equally strong idea that this is a country where anyone can rise to the height of his personal capabilities. This carries with it the subtext that if you’re not financially successful, then there must be some underlying flaw that’s holding you back. To admit to a low income is to invite being judged as an underachiever.

Then there is our tradition of anti-elitism that romanticizes those of humble means. To flaunt that one has more money than others is to risk being seen as an elitist.

Seen together, this all points to a kind of schizophrenic view of money in our culture, and I’d say that’s absolutely the case. The result is that we’re more comfortable just not talking about it.

@thorninmud Great answer. : )

Yes, @thorninmud

I “measure” someones “value” by their character over their bank account, the truth is, there are many of us non-conformist types that don’t make scads of cash, but, we live in our integrity to self as authentic human beings not automans following the life script that has been fed to us by the infamous “they.” ;-)

Discussions of personal finance are considered rude.

@marinelife Yes, but the question is why they are considered rude.

In part, it is because Americans like to pretend that they believe work is good in itself and that they would work even if they didn’t get paid.

Sometimes, though, I think men treat money like they treat penis size: we all know that anything more than enough is just icing on the cake and that too much can actually be a curse, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t some primal “more is better” mentality screaming out from underneath. The benefit of finding out someone has less is balanced against the detriment of finding out someone has more, so a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy is adopted. We’re happy to make suggestive displays, but not to present the unadulterated truth.

There is a danger here, however, as not talking about money can help oil the gears of corporate oppression. Why don’t employers allow their employees to discuss compensation? Because it allows them to pay people less than they are worth. If you don’t know what the fair market price is for your labor, it becomes rather difficult to demand it. The system is also self-reinforcing because it keeps people from discussing what they make in secret lest their coworkers get angry about whatever differences there may be.

Again, though, the comparison with penis size could be made. Most men feel relieved when they learn what the actual mean, median, and mode are with regard to penile statistics. Similarly, there is a lot of public information about what particular groups of people make, and that information can be useful in discovering who is and is not being paid fairly. It might be uncomfortable at first, but getting all the information out there is probably worthwhile in the long-term.

Because people do not wish to appear materialistic and shallow.

Building on @thorninmud‘s excellent post, talking about how much you earn could be construed as ‘big noting’ yourself. And if the person being asked has a very low income, it could make them feel judged as less valuable. Not that either of these things should happen but there are people who judge others by the car they drive, the income they earn etc.

It isn’t just the US either. I am British by birth and I wouldn’t ask people how much they earn. I wouldn’t do it in Australia (where I live now) either. It would as @marinelife suggested be considered bad manners. It has become a social norm.

Others have given good answers here. I will just say that Americans tend to think that salary/wages are a privacy issue, and with good reason since people do tend to judge you by what you make. When it comes to the workplace people definitely tend to be very secretive about their earnings, again with good reasons.

Because it’s not anybody’s business. Especially not someone whom you’ve just met, is why. When you’re young, you are drilled with rhymes and idioms about minding your own bees-wax…

Because it’s farking nosy and rude. My answer to that is, ‘where do you think you are, Hollywood?’

Because it seems to devalue personhood in favour of economy.

Great answers above, so I will just share this…

On the very rare few occasions I have mentioned salary to someone (either because they asked or it was relevant to the conversation), I always got a brief, but startled look.

There were two versions. The “that’s all you make”-look or the “wow, seriously, that much”-look. Either way, it was uncomfortable and derailed the conversation, so I make a point to avoid it.