How do I tell this girl how I feel when She has a boyfriend?
Asked by
TheAbyss (
11
)
January 8th, 2012
Here is my situation,
There is this girl I like that so happens to be the cousin of my best friend. Now, we are the same age (17) so graduation is getting pretty close. I have came to the conclusion that I’m absolutely crazy about this girl and, I will do literally anything to have her.
Unfortunately… She has a boyfriend that treats her like absolute garbage. I don’t have the luxury telling her how I feel face to face since I no longer go to her school. I still live in the same area and hang out with her whenever she’s with my best friend. I can never find a perfect time to tell her since I can never get her alone.
I’m not worried about whether she likes me or not because whenever I text her she’s flirty. Also for this reason… One Day My mom, Me, my friend, the girl I like, my friends mom went out to have some fun. Apparently, when I got up to use the bathroom at lunch, The girls aunt told her I liked her and I would treat her right unlike her ex. No one told me about this conversation so 2 weeks later my mom told me she blushed and was hitting on me the whole day. (Laughing at my jokes, Sitting beside me, etc) I had an idea that she was hitting, but I didn’t flatter myself since I knew she just got back together with her ex.
After A few weeks of living emotional hell I finally got enough balls to tell my best friend I liked his cousin. He told me “I had a feeling, It really sucks for the both of you since she’s with (Insert Name). Well, I can give you her number.” So I said ” No man. Give her mine… and if she wants to text me, she will.” 30 seconds later I get a text from her. So I text her back and forth for 5 hours straight. Then for the next few days we text like crazy (She’s very flirty with me) and now it’s gotten to the point where she isn’t starting the conversations. Now I’m waiting for her to start them… So when she does I’ll need to tell her how I feel before she loses what little interest she has left.
Now here’s the situation. I can’t tell her face to face or otherwise I’d do that. It’s either call her when she’s alone or through a text. (I don’t want to text her if it would hurt my chances) Keep in mind, She has a boyfriend, but I can’t hold this in any longer. What would I say? I absolutely DO NOT want to screw this up! I care about her more than life itself. I would wait to see her face to face but that could be a few months due to the fact I only see her when she’s hanging out with my best friend at the same time as me. What should I say? When should I say it?
As you can tell by how long this is… I really like this girl. Sorry for any grammatical errors. I also felt the extreme detail was necessary.
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14 Answers
You don’t, and if you do it without being face to face you not only made the wrong choice but you will be seen as a coward.
Well, you’ve outlined how you feel pretty well. I’d say start with that. Talking about these things in person would be best. Hell, call/text her and ask to meet up with her. Tell her about said things. Job done.
HOWEVER, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, and only as a disclaimer type thing: you could be imagining the whole thing. It’s possible, however unlikely, that things really aren’t the way you think they are and have indicated in this question. It could very well be that she hasn’t shown these signs and that you’re showing a level of wishful thinking not before seen by humankind. As such, be cautious that you could simply be chucking a bunch of turbulence into a relationship that may be going well.
I apologise for the long-windedness of that, and how offensive it probably was. I just felt the need to mention it.
And on second thought, over the phone wouldn’t be so bad. Just don’t text it. Seriously. Don’t. Like, really. Just no.
@KoleraHeliko I totally understand where you’re coming from, but when your best friend, his cousin (From opposite side of the family), and few other people tell you that she kinda likes you… You can’t really go too crazy on imagination. The only thing I imagine is the absolute worst thing that can happen due to my anxiety issues.
You don’t. You should respect their relationship. Even if she does flirt with you.
Does he really treat her like garbage, or do you just see what you want to see because you want their relationship to fail?
@Mariah No. I’m not a complete douche bag. I’d respect their relationship and probably would not even think about asking her out if he treated her right.
@Mariah Thank you for your response. I’m really crazy about this girl so I don’t want to do anything stupid to make her resent me.
I might be alone on this but it’s not a crime to tell her how you feel. At that young of an age she might not realize how shitty she’s being treated. You only live once, send her an email or just tell her face to face next time you see her. Or call her. Just get it out….you said you can’t hold it in any longer. Do it. You’ll feel so much better, you won’t regret it (but you will regret not doing it) and then it’s up to her. She wakes up and gets out of her shitty relationship or she stays in it, it’s her choice, but at least you’ve done all you can if you just tell her the truth.
Why can’t you see her face-to-face? You could go to her house since her parents seem to approve. It would be the easiest way.
If she likes you, she can break up with the ex.
Do it now!
Welcome to Fluther.
Man, it’s a good thing these electrons are recyclable. Otherwise you would have wasted all those electrons (as well as all that time) telling us “how you can’t make it go right.”
If you’re going to tell the girl how you feel you have to find a way to make it go right, tell her how you feel if you really want to (which is pretty much superfluous at this point – everyone else in the world knows how you feel about her, or how you think you feel, which in your mind amounts to the same thing).
What you really need to do is simply tell her that you would like to spend some time with her, take her out and get to know her, but you’re not going to do that behind the back of her current beau, no matter what a shitheel you think he is. If you can’t find time to talk to her, how in the world do you ever expect to spend time with her? Make the time and make it go right.
Why not focus on somebody who does NOT already have a boyfriend? The chances of a good outcome go way up.
Send her six red roses, one for each month you have died to be alone with her.
This may not be face to face, but I guarantee you that you will receive some kind of response from her.
Look, teenage love is serious business that requires covert psychological guerrilla warfare tactics to succeed. Just hire a hot babe to flirt with you, hang all over you around your friend. Part of your hired babes job is to befriend the girl you want to be with. So when they run off to the bathroom together, she’ll tell your friend many stories about how kind and charitable you are rescuing lost puppies and helping little old ladies across the street. She’ll tell your friend that you are very passionate, a wise man beyond your years with that extra punch in your package.
This shouldn’t need to go on for more than a couple of weeks before the girl you want decides she wants you… and she’ll break up with her current boyfriend without you ever having to say a word to anyone.
Have an honest, mature conversation with her. Let her know that as long as she’s dating someone else you need to respect that and if, in the future, her relationship status should change you would very much like to become friends and get to know her better. She’ll respect you even more for being a gentleman. Good luck. Peace, BosM
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