Another nonsense thread, what do you say?

The Assumption Song

I’m still looking for a midget.

No.

Rube Goldberg machines had a lot of midgets in them.

@King_Pariah Iove that!

What if Spock need glasses? How would they fit?

Badly.

Kewl.

KITTIES. AHHHH!

A little boy was born into a family, and he had no ears. His parents warned little Johnny not to ask about his ears when they were going to visit. They got there and Johnny was looking at the new baby. How’s his eyes? Johnny asked. Fine, why do you ask? Because he sure is going to have trouble wearing glasses.

Would you tape your glasses to your face if you had no nose?

@laineybug LMAO. Sorry A. :)

@laineybug What if you had no nose and no ears? You’d need a stapler.

@Adirondackwannabe and maybe some band-aids to stop the bleeding from the staples.

@laineybug Hey Trailerhood!

No.

Booo

Depends.

On

Barking Pumpkins.

Turntable

What am I good at?

Random stuff. You tell me.

Don’t forget that my ego is all based on empty space.

Between my ears.

If I prepared my brain the way John Cage
prepares piano, Einstein would be eating canaries in a coal mine.

Don’t ask me what that means.

The CIA would have to mine artichokes.

Twits slay by waterspouts and fornicate with literature proclivity cleft between sonorous sirens of similar verisimilitudes gone awry, before therefores on all fours, double backing beasts of project Prometheus. Quim swimming, caesar centaur century.

Solar system simulator

I feel gassy and nauseas.
My dog takes too long to poo in the rain. Why can’t he speed it along when its raining?
The world is actually lumpy.
Plantains are very good for you.
I love my kitchen aid mixer that I got for xmas.
I have an addiction to problem solving.
My hair feels really soft right now.
Sleeping can be boring.

I am so sore from yoga. My hips are making me walk like a cowboy. Two days in a row we did bat pose and I’m achy tonight!

Bawlz.

Darn, I didn’t get the specific bat pose picture. Here it is. Stayed in that inverted sling for about 10 minuets today!

@Judi – I never did find a pic of the bat pose but it sounds impressive!

@MilkyWay – Do you walk to work or carry your lunch?

It’s the second pic down (not counting the cat) on my second link.

the hanging upside down one, guess that should have been obvious, heheheh. Cheers.

snowballs!

definitely snow-balls

there are no stupid questions.

you’re gonna love my nuts

Capillary electrophoresis (CE), also known as capillary zone electrophoresis (CZE), can be used to separate ionic species by their charge and frictional forces and hydrodynamic radius. In traditional electrophoresis, electrically charged analytes move in a conductive liquid medium under the influence of an electric field. Introduced in the 1960s, the technique of capillary electrophoresis (CE) was designed to separate species based on their size to charge ratio in the interior of a small capillary filled with an electrolyte.

This is a funny spoof of photoshop, worth watching.

Oooooh, things change
Time passes by so fast
Keep out of the rain.

@Keep_on_running Haha, “pro-pixel intensifying fauxtanical hydro-jargon microbead extract”!

@rebbel XD I liked “use healing brush to target blemishes at their source by simply erasing them. rofl

I am titanium.

If you’re not careful someone could stick their wenis in your uvula, and always, always were protection.

I hate when I accidentally stick my venis in other women’s paginas.

What is the difference between a duck?

So I’m just minding my business at home, when some random guy busts in going, hey man, wanna go to Scotland and find some claymores? I was all like, sure, let me get my shoes.

@Symbeline I’ll meet ya there. There’s loads of haunted castles up there… we could go around dressed as zombies and stuff scarin the shit outta tourists :D

And get kicked out of restaurants. I’m down for that.

Coom on ya lassies, geet ouuta here, this here’s a respectable place. lol!

It’s finally looking more like winter here today. Hooray!

If you had sex with multiple persons at once, but you don’t know how many precisely, do you call that a somesome?

If you had sex with multiple persons at once, but you don’t know how many precisely, do you call that a somesome?

I call that being a gigantic slut lol.

Did someone say orgy in too many words?

I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose
fire away, fire away ricochet,
you take your aim
fire away, fire away
you shoot me down,
but I won’t fall I am titanium.

@erichw1504 but not fire proof :P

I have to share this funny video. I love it when I really LOL. I found it because another jelly posted a video by the same guy on facebook. His perspective on America cracks me up!

Oh, those French and their nudity
And the inevitable formation of a new meme

@Judi I really LOL , too. “I have my cake. Why would I put it in a barrel? And shoot it? And then eat it. There are two extra steps ! ” Thank you!.

Hey nonny, nonny!

Funny coincidence, a day after I posted that link about photoshop my sister found a really weird picture of Oprah in one of those crappy gossip mags. See if you can spot the mistake…lmao.

@Keep_on_running – are you serious??? Did that photo actually appear in a magazine without it being a joke???

@rooeytoo I’m absolutely serious, I couldn’t believe it either! It was strange because I’d flicked through that page just before my sister and I didn’t even notice. It was only a small picture though, about the size of a passport photo.

Matches But I just thought…

Kid Tannen There’s your first mistake! Thinking! Do you ever see me thinking?!

Matches Eerr…

Kid Tannen Never mind, don’t answer that!

Great news! I’m going to touch Joan Jett’s butt..

@AshLeigh I rode in an elevator with Joan Jett once. I didn’t dare to touch her butt.

YOU LUCKY BASTARD.

I was at the Hotel Thayer at West Point for a school. I got on the elevator, there’s Joan and two of her band guys, all wearing black leather. Boy those guys are skinny. I nod, she smiles and we ride the elevator to the lobby. She, or one of the guys, smelled good.

Which band? Haha. I prefer The Runaways…

It was during that time. I was so focused on her I have no idea who the guys were. She was a tiny bit tough, but gorgeous.

If it was The Runaways, there wouldn’t have been guys. :)
She’s so cute. Even now. Isn’t she like 52, or something?

I’m thinking this was before you were born.

Probably.. :D

It was just before 1990. You’re far from that old. I’ve also been 12 inches from Springstein.

Tromboner.

Pffft. I’m not that far from that old… I was born in 95. XD

@AshLeigh I have a scar on my right eyebrrow from a college intramural basketball game that dates back to 1983.:) I’m much more gentle then I was then.

I have a scar on my forehead from my wall that dates back to 1999…

chickity china.

I have a scar from a football injury from back last year. (sigh)
I feel so young…

@MilkyWay Your supposed to kick the ball. Not stuff that doesn’t move. Jees.

@Adirondackwannabe Uhm, it was a dirty tackle, thank you very much. I’ve been playing since I was 2. I know what the aim of the game is :P

Ah, you wimpy English always blame it on a dirty tackle.

@Adirondackwannabe Who you callin wimpy, wimpy?

Huh oldest scar… well externally that would be from 1994 with a nail to the head

Bop It.

@erichw1504 , “Pull it!”

@MilkyWay… I believe you’re older then me, sis. :P

Shhh!!

@MilkyWay I missed the wimpy answer earlier, wimpy. Who has the injury and is whining about a dirty tackle. They get a little mud on your dress?

I don’t wear a dress. Just because you wear one doesn’t mean everyone wimpy wears a dress :P

@MilkyWay IT’S NOT A DRESS!!!!!

…it’s a kilt, I swear :’(

Sure, sure. Whatever you say.
And btw, I’ve glued it to the seat. The kilt.

@MilkyWay good thing I have no kilt

Oh right, dress. I’ve glued your dress to the seat.

And this just inspired a question….

Hallelujah!
Whatever that means…

Eureka!

Man This ragout looks like congealed shit.

Man 2 Dude, sick.

Man What can I say? I’m a morbid eater.

Man 2 You’re not morbid, you’re just a sick and disgusting fuck.

Man lol

@Symbeline This really drunk guy is eating clams. He eats four of them ,out of the dozen and throws them up into the garbage can next to him. He stops and looks at the clams and then looks over at the guy next to him. “You want some he asks? I’ve tried them all five times and they won’t stay down.”

K that’s fuckin gross lol. Nice. :)

So two guys are traveling the country, and night falls. They come to a hotel, but they don’t have any money. They wonder if they may strike a deal with the owner. The owner says, ’‘well, if you fuck my daughter, you guys can eat and sleep here for free’’.
This nasty looking girl with sores and warts all over comes. ’‘This is my daughter’’. The first guy goes, ’‘sure, why not’’. The other guy’s like, ’‘man you nuts? I’m sleeping outside’’. And so, he leaves.

So the first guy takes the ugly girl up to the room. She takes off her clothes, and he sees that by her breasts and vagina, there are HUUUGE disgusting and infected scabs. He goes, ’‘hold up’’...and carefully peals the scabs off, and hucks them out the window. He has sex with the girl, and gets free food and a night’s comfy sleep from the owner.

In the morning, he meets up with his buddy who slept outside.

’‘Man, you should have accepted the deal! She wasn’t all that bad, plus I got free food!’’ The second guy goes, ’‘hey man, I got free food too. Some dumb bastard threw two perfectly good pizzas out the window last night.’’

Man lol

Oh good God! I bow to your awesomeness. You are the mistress of the dark. LMAO

Jump, jump!

I just puked a little… o.0

I just nuked a little… O.0

So… you were the one who fucked Japan up?

lawl XD

Gross is good.
@MilkyWay Hey I found another wolf lover!

Something I remember from a Mad magazine;

Gross is someone who doesn’t trim their nose hairs. Beyond gross is someone who braids their nose hairs.

Gross is someone who picks their scab. Beyond gross is someone who picks somebody else’s scab.

I wish I could remember the rest…

brought to you by Lickboxing; where you lick your opponent everywhere until they freak out!

@Adirondackwannabe lol! Found one a bit early…~

@Symbeline I remember that one. I’ll see if I can find it.

I thought beyond gross was picking someone else’s scabs and eating them…

I ate a scab before. Tastes like iron.

@Adirondackwannabe Cool, post em here if you find em!

Funny, I had some that tasted like cheese… Or was that her vag?

naked

baked

Naked baking.

Why are people always stealing my ideas? Like penis in vagina sex. MY IDEA.

Even before she can get her knickers on I’ve seen everything…

Aw, Jamie Oliver…

Burrito.

Apparently, Twilight is “so popular” because teenagers can relate to it.
Oh yeah, I remember that time when I was a vampire…

And that time when I was pregnant with a human/vampire hybrid.

Male vampire + human girlfriend on period = THE HORROR! OH THE HORROR!

Tastes like pennies.

LAWL. Gross.

Blame Type O Negative for that, not me. XD

This one time, at Twilight camp…

There was a very stinky vampire called @erichw1504…

Who fell in love with a hairy female werewolf known as @MilkyWay… :P

Who was not at all smelly…

Compare to a compost pile…. (ah, I know vengeance will come soon enough, but at least I’ll be chuckling)

It wasn’t BO, it was her breath. History says she could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon at 50 meters, 75 meters first thing in the morning.

As the shitwagon and buzzard would be overcome by the clean, sweet and fresh smell of her breath.

Who would lug around a wagon full of shit anyway?

@Symbeline Not by choice.Never been around cows have you.

Ah, now manure is different. I know of its uses. Fertilizer and all. But that’s different. I thought it was a wagon of human crap. That would suck. Manure, on the other hand, is awesome.

Mah noor…mah nooor…yeah yah, maaah nooooooooor!

@Symbeline I see your point. A load of human crap would be disgusting. I don’t even think Milkyway could freshen that.

What’s the difference between human crap and cow crap? What’s the difference between crap and us? You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else; We are all part of the same compost heap; We are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world.

@King_Pariah On a farm cowshit is something you just have to deal with. All vegtable too. Human crap I’d rather stay away from.

@King_Pariah Metaphorically, yeah. But dude, just imagine, a cart full of man logs, turds and diarrhea. Eeew. Cow crap at least kind of smells like hay. Not that I’d huff it in, but still.

That all metaphorical with a bit of Fight Club, just felt spontaneous when reading about crap.

and for my next act of unoriginality….

The Killing Joke

I just saw a picture of a penis flash in my monitor for like a millisecond.

@Symbeline Check out any porn sites tonight?

I swear it wasn’t my schlong. Really. It wasn’t. And I swear I didn’t splice anything into your screens data feed….

Cmon Fight Club fans, you MUST know what I’m on about…or was that just the VHS version?

And lol at the word ’‘shlong’’.

You must forgive @Adirondackwannabe, ignorant to the truth and beauty of it. lol

Ah, I’ve never checked out Fight Club. Forgive me for being a grasshopper.

@Adirondackwannabe That’s okay. I was watching porn, as a matter of fact.

@Symbeline They sometimes link a chat site to the site you’re watching. Not that I would know about that.:)

Oh so that WAS you telling me your parents weren’t home. :D

Well I have the house for a few.