What if your are not really master of your destiny?

Not sure I understand what is being asked.

You describe a set of decisions that strongly affected the outcome of your life. Sounds like being the master of your destiny to me.

On some levels, we are not masters of our destiny but on other levels, we are definitely masters. We don’t have control over what happens to us but we have choices.

We can choose from a number of optional paths, we can choose to get rid of self-destructive habits, we can choose whether to stay in an unhealthy environment or not… we make many many life-altering choices— and those choices shape our future choices, or our destiny.

Then again, we can’t control to socio-economic status into which we’re born, we can’t control the way we’re raised by our parents or all the things that shape us as we grow up—so much of our life is out of our control. Yet, then again, we do have a choice whether we adhere to how we were shaped or not— if we come from bad homes, it is a choice whether we pass it on to our children or make things better for them. We don’t have control over whether we get opportunities or not, but we have control over what we do with the opportunities presented to us. Some of us will drop down and give up because, “I can’t help it, life’s so hard,” but others will find ways to move on.

I think we shape our destinies with the choices we make, and mindsets that we cling to. Our mindset definitely does influence what’s given to us or given to someone else—and whether we feel we deserve better or not. It’s tough to accept responsibility for our mindsets, but we are capable of controlling how we frame things.

We do not control who steals our parking spot, only whether we flip them a bird, lean on the horn, throw a brick at their window, mutter under our breaths, glare at them in the store, or just forget all about it.

So, my answer is, we kinda sorta mostly are masters of our destiny.

How can you get away from being the master of your own destiny?

you cant!

I’m sure there are choices you aren’t seeing.

@linguaphile Valid points. But what I wonder is how much control do we really have. Seems to me its like being on a roller coaster ride. You can choose which roller coaster to ride in the amusement park. Some are mild or dangerous, or exciting but either way once your locked in, the roller coaster is going to continue to go down the track. You can’t change where its going. You only have the initial decision to get on or not. And like any good ride. Once your locked in, you might as well throw your hands in the air.

@Pandora I wholeheartedly agree, but what about when you get off the ride? If you’re reeling, puking, laughing, wincing, etc, how much is a choice?

I often wonder how much our personality locks in our reaction choices. A ebullient person would clearly get more opportunities (ride tickets?) than a shy person, so my question is… is personality a choice or a destiny?

I’ve worked with so many people that have one-track minds when it comes to their reactions and often these exact reactions that they can’t/won’t change are the deciding factor as to whether they get new opportunities or lose golden tickets. So many of them can’t accept that their reactions are creating the situation, but blame others for not accommodating their reactions. Choice or destiny??

The late, great Bill Hicks had something to say on this subject:

“The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it’s real because that’s how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it’s very brightly colored, and it’s very loud, and it’s fun… for a while.

Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, “Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?” And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, “Hey, don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.” And we … kill those people. “Shut him up! I’ve got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.” It’s just a ride.

But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn’t matter, because… it’s just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. A choice, right now, between fear and love.

The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.

Here’s what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defense each year and instead spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would, many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.”

I’m not at all sure what is being asked here. Is this something that is peculiar to military families? Like once you choose to work for the military, you have far fewer choices over various life decisions than other people do?

If that’s what you are saying, then I’d have to say it is true. When you choose to enter the military, you choose to give up fifty to seventy-five percent of the autonomy non-military families have.

In the military, you don’t have a say on where you live nor on much of what you do. You could be sent anywhere to work on any mission. You choose to do this for glory—for serving a larger purpose—your country. And you choose to dedicate your entire family to this purpose. You are not making the decision just for yourself. You are also, as the OP points out, giving your body to your country.

I’m not sure why people would make this choice. I never would have. I don’t think it’s all that wise a decision to make. I think there are far better ways to serve one’s country. I think that you need to retain your right to make decisions in order to serve your country well. Still, millions of people make this choice and in doing so, they give up a lot of control over their lives that other people have.

But how much is anyone a master of their own destiny? I think there’s no way to quantify this. All we can talk about is the ways we can make choices and the the ways in which our environment makes choices for us.

Most people have the right to control what they do and how they do it. Once they work within an organization, that right is constrained to a greater or lesser degree. Some employers demand more from employees than others. Most of us have the right to decide whether to continue to work for that employer or not. People who join the military don’t have that choice.

Some employers allow people the choice about how to do the work. Others don’t.

We mostly get to choose where to live, but all of us are constrained by available housing stock and prejudice and income and lots of other things.

Wealthy people are seen to have more choices and more mastery of their destiny. The poorer you are, the less of a master you are compared to wealthy people. Unless you change the rules and throw out material things as a consideration.

I dunno if this really speaks to anything in this question, but it’s what comes to mind.

@wundayatta Really wasn’t thinking in terms of military but it gives me something more to wonder about. Your point on how rich people have more choices available and so they are in better control of their destiny is interesting. But it does make me wonder then about them being born to rich people in the first place. They are born into a life of opportunities that a poor person wouldn’t have availablle so they destiny or path is already somewhat set.

If you are not the master of your destiny you are pretty much fucked until you regain the initiative.