How much do you trust your heart when you meet someone new that you really like ? Do you hold your guard up, let things flow, or fall in love ?

I take it slow and see how it develops. I always hold a little back until I have a stronger feeling about the person.

Emotional diarrhea is not attractive.

Have fun, take it easy and realize that they need to earn your heart. Think of them as a friend first. That is how the best relationships start.

@Dog – What’s emotional diarrhea? Fluther is a free place to express yourself, that’s why I ask these questions so honestly.

I am talking about falling head over heals on the first date. You know, those who an hour or two into a date start talking about having kids.

Not implying at all that you are doing that at all. I was just answering your question honestly. :)

Oh I see, oh no I know what you mean! I wouldn’t talk like that haha. But my situation has been building over some months now…

About 4 months now, with just talking, getting to know one another…

Finally we are finally meeting. I feel a really good connection to him. So I wanted to know how much when you first meet someone do you give complete trust ? Do you put your guard down?

I feel totally comfortable with him and I trust him.

Then last night we confessed our feelings to each other, they were mutual, and now we are finally meeting. I feel really excited about it.

@partyrock I hope things go well when you meet! It sounds like you have done a lot of back and forth, so you have good chance of things working out well.

For me I tend to be pretty open minded when I meet people face to face. But I am also pretty guarded before expressing anything more than “I’d like to see you again”.

“Finally we are finally meeting.”

I strongly suggest that you take your own transportation or have a friend give you a ride, and meet him in a public place on your first date.

@Brian1946 – Thank you. I will be and am careful. I’ve been getting to know him, plus I know his full name, where he lives, where he works, and his mom and dad, so I know he is not going to be a serial killer or anything. Thank you though. I will be very very careful .

@zenvelo – Have you ever met someone you’ve gotten to know slowly and already know you want them in your life as a friend (or possibly a partner) ?

I’m trying to take it slow.

I’ve never been one for long correspondence. But my girlfriend and I corresponded for about ten days, more than once a day, and I couldn’t believe how well the emails went. We spoke on the phone next, our conversation was so good that after about 40 minutes I suggested we meet spontaneously for dinner.

We ended up having a great evening and each wanting to see the other in a few days, which we set up that night. It’s been over five years and we are still together.

I do not, because it means that person is using pheromones or a mind control device and has to be terminated.

I always trust my gut and just keep assessing along the way. It has really never failed me.

Most of the time I don’t trust or fully believe in the existence of any attraction that’s there. I’m really a cynic when it comes to love and attraction so I don’t have much faith. I haven’t had a good track record. :( So my guard is up, way up, and rarely have I let it down… unfortunately, I can be prone to emotional diarrhea if I let my guard down and I’ve not had any experiences where the relationship was worth letting my guard down. Bleah.

But that’s just me… not everyone is the same. If it was me going on this date, I’d go, have as much fun as possible, be real and WYSIWYG, and expect no results at all. It’s the expectations that can lead to disappointments. No anticipating, hoping for, predicting- just go with the flow.

I think @deni has a good, balanced answer—trust your gut and keep on assessing. And have fun!

I’m jaded and put up my walls…....

My current relationship, I held up my guard for a good 6 months. She was ready from the get-go and desperately wanted in. She was patient and persisted. I finally opened my heart and let her in.

The most amazing feeling.

I’ve been on 3 dates with someone. I told him I was apprehensive about relationships because of stuff that had happened in the past. He said he wishes I would see how sincere he was and that he really likes me, but that he would wait until I was ready. I like that he’s letting me pick how things kinda go, but I’m nervous as hell and don’t want to get too attached and see that he wasn’t that serious about what he said. I keep my guard up for a long time. That whole “love like you’ve never been hurt” yeah, bullshit.

“_About 4 months now, with just talking, getting to know one another…
Finally we are finally meeting. I feel a really good connection to him._”

“Then last night we confessed our feelings to each other, they were mutual, and now we are finally meeting. I feel really excited about it.”

I know you are excited and happy and ready for love and romance and passion, but you have this backwards. This is not “trying to take it slow.”

It is a very bad idea to confess your feelings to someone you never met. You may get lucky, and I hope you are, but the odds are against you. Sometimes, for example, you meet an attractive person and his/her smell is a turn-off to you but not to someone else.

Tread with caution. Let someone else know your plans and stay in public areas.

I would NEED to be friends in real life before professing anything. I am not able to fall into anything without eye contact.

Falling in love is just that, it is falling. You lose contact with the solid ground you took for granted. When it happens it happens.

@gailcalled – We considered each other good friends from those 4 months we were getting to know each other, then last night we told each other that we did like each other. Not professing love or anything deep like that. I just told him I liked him and he said he does too. That’s what I meant.

@zenvelo – That is great. I am really happy for you. Sounds beautiful.

@redfeather – I’m a little bit of the same way. I’ve been hurt before, so I do have my guard most of the time. With this guy though, I find I don’t need to put up walls or have a guard. I feel really comfortable.

I’ve never fallen in love spontaneously. It takes time for me to develope feelings for somebody on that level. I need to feel people out first when it comes to almost anything, but this is especially true when it comes to relationships for me. No love at first site for this guy.

@partyrock I’m super comfortable with this guy too, to the point where I remind myself to put my walls back up.