Engaged and joining a fraternity?

It really shouldn’t matter what his friends are doing. If you trust him, you trust him.

Well, I assume that if he is married he won’t be living in the fraternity house. You would attend parties with him.

What is the reputation of this fraternity? If he is set on it, you will have to give in unless you want to make it an ultimatum, which I don’t recommend.

Engaged? Not common, but not unheard of. Married, though, very uncommon, since most married couples live together, not one partner in a frat house. However, it might put a damper on his ability to fit in socially with the group and participate in some or many group activities. It might not be a good fit for him.

I am curious why he would want to join a frat if he was engaged.

This is just my opinion but if he want to join a fraternity that badly, he’s not mature enough to marry. Please don’t get mad at me but I’ve been married fr 46 years and think I’ve seen all sorts of marriages and combinations of personalities.

First of all, you shouldn’t believe everything you see on TV and in movies about fraternities and sororities. Yes, there are parties, but who doesn’t party in college? At my school, the Greek organizations also did a lot of fundraisers and participated in things that had nothing to do with sex and drinking. There were girls in my sorority who never drank, we all had to maintain a certain GPA, we did monthly service projects, we didn’t have a house, and each year we put on a huge fundraiser for cancer research with absolutely no budget. Being in a sorority, especially being an officer, gave me experiences that proved very valuable once I graduated. It was honestly one of the best things I did in college and it was nothing like what you see on TV.

I never heard of any guy in a fraternity being forced to do cheat on someone. A lot of places are strict on hazing anyway now, so encourage your fiance to pledge a fraternity that has a good reputation, not a party reputation. If he can even wait until his sophomore year, assuming he’s a freshman now, he’ll get a really good idea of which fraternity would be a good fit for him. He doesn’t want to join a fraternity that ends up losing its charter for hazing or partying. In my sorority we didn’t have pledges, we had new members. They had all the same rights as initiated members, even voting, except participating in rituals until after initiation. We had a very strict no hazing policy and at no time, as a new member or later as an officer, did I ever see even the remotest instant of hazing.