Social Question

AnonymousWoman's avatar

Does it really matter if you never get a second chance to make a first impression if you make a better one next time?

Asked by AnonymousWoman (6533points) January 18th, 2012

I know I am just one person, but this advice has made me wonder. I haven’t always made the best first impressions with people, but that doesn’t always matter in my experience. In fact, some of the people I did not get along with at first have become some of my closest friends.

People I have never talked to before might be rude to me and I might have a low opinion of them at first. Those would be first impressions, wouldn’t they? If first impressions were the only things that mattered in communication between human beings, why then would we end up getting along after we learn that we strongly agree on at least one other issue or have a huge interest in at least one other area?

I am not big on making first impressions. I am one of those “You can take me or leave me” women. I don’t want to change for anyone and I certainly do not want to put a huge effort into making a great first impression. To me, that is shallow… even fake. Once people learn this about me, they seem to feel more comfortable around me—more sure of themselves, not like they have to impress me. This is not something that people can always tell based on a first impression.

I feel like talking to people naturally is best. I feel like it’s how you talk to people, not whether or not you made a good first impression, that is important.

If someone who was rude to me before wants to talk to me again and talks to me respectfully when he or she does, I would gladly welcome that. I don’t like writing people off for life. I am totally open to finding common ground with people. In fact, the less bad opinions I feel the need to have about someone, the better.

What do you think? Do you write people off over a bad first impression? Do you allow one meeting to taint how you view the person and his or her entire life? How deeply do first impressions affect you?

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7 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

If someone is rude to me, or acts like a complete jerk to me on first meeting, it’s not that I will be close minded about them, but I will definitely be on guard. Socially, if a first meeting does not go well, chances are I will never see the person again.

In business, first impressions can be critical because people make evaluations pretty quickly, usually within the first minute of meeting someone. That doesn’t mean a first impression is how you will view them forever, but it sure sets an attitude towards dealing with them going forward. If you are trying to sell something, you’d better be aware of how you first meet the customer.

Blackberry's avatar

We all have bad luck sometimes, I don’t put too much weight on bad first impressions unless they’re patently bad.

Mariah's avatar

I think the saying comes about because some people won’t bother to give anyone a second chance.

marinelife's avatar

It’s just a saying. It means that you had best be on your best behavior on certain occasions such as job interviews.

YARNLADY's avatar

No, first impressions are highly overrated, and don’t really amount to much.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I agree with @YARNLADY . People who have not really impressed me at first have become my very close friends later. If a person was a total jerk the first time I met them, it might take a couple of good experiences to cancel that first one out, but it can still be done.

Paradox25's avatar

I think this is a good question. For the most part first impressions mean very little to me except for those few occasions where I just automatically get bad/good vibes from that person, and when that occurs I usually end up being correct about that person (why I trust my gut instinct). People put up facades all of the time so I’m usually wise enough to avoid judging others on this. As a take me or leave me type of individual myself I would be a hypocrite to answer this question in any other way. Like I’ve said above though sometimes you just get that gut feeling about somebody.

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