Is playing the hand one is dealt really brave?

Brave in the meaning of acknowledging the fact that one is in a perilous situation and that one should show (to oneself) spirit and drive to take initiative to fight/work to get back to a safe situation lot of to’s in that sentence.
I can imagine that calling those situations (that you mentioned in your question’s details) brave comes from people around ‘the victim’ who use that word to encourage them (to fight on).

I never use brave to describe fighting a disease. I guess maybe some people are more fearless than others with how they go about combatting a disease, or they seem to be on the surface at least. And, I guess acting without fear is acting bravely? But, I still don’t relate the word brave to fighting illness.

In fact all the things you mention I would describe as coping. Coping well with what is dealt to a person in life. The person having a good attitude, and perservering.

There was a study done, wish I could find it, where they found that people who had bad illnesses like cancer, that the people who had optimistic attitudes about treatment and overcoming the disease were compared to thos who tended to be negative and fearful. In the end both groups had the same rates of success from the treatments.

I believe bravery, used in this manner, is not necessarily an intentional act, but rather it is an unintentional projection. The act of facing the fearsome will project a perception of bravery outward to others… irregardless if it is intended by the one facing the fear.

My dog went missing for a month. Construction workers found him lying dead at the bottom of an elevator shaft. He’d fallen eight floors down a secret shaft and laid their decaying for a month in the August summer. All the while I thought he’d been dognapped.

My friend and I meet the workers two stories underground to retrieve Bart’s body. One of us had to enter the shaft alone. There were volunteers who knew how crazed I’d become over the past month, but I insisted upon retrieving him myself. Upon entering, in a space where no one else could see me, I saw Bart lying there, peacefully. I cried out howling “Oh… Bart!” I was so afraid. I reached out to pick him up but his body just crumpled into gooey chunks of furry muddy flesh decay that reeked rotten like all the toilets in hell. I just bawled and cried, shoveling his remains into a trash bag.

When I came out, everyone was staring wide eyed and drop jawed. Every one of them said my act was the bravest thing they’d ever seen.

I’m like “huh?” Brave? It was a terrifying experience. Nothing brave intended at all. But my friends said it was brave because I had to face it alone. And something in that act was unintentionally projecting bravery to them.

I have wondered about that, too, I think it is overused. I think originally the idea was that someone was very brave to keep fighting in the face of adversity, rather than succumbing to despair, as opposed to succmbing to the disease or condition.

@JLeslie “There was a study done, wish I could find it, where they found that people who had bad illnesses like cancer, that the people who had optimistic attitudes about treatment and overcoming the disease were compared to thos who tended to be negative and fearful. In the end both groups had the same rates of success from the treatments.” I find that interesting, as I was steered towards studies that said exactly the opposite (I, too, can’t find them, it was a long time ago when I was going through treatment) and they cited probable immune system boosts from production of endorphins or seratonin or somesuch. Which I think mainly goes to show that you can find studies to support just about anything.

@JLeslie “I guess acting without fear is acting bravely?”

I think many people think this way. I look at it differently. For me, bravery is “acting” in the midst of fear. Not allowing the fear to overcome. It’s still there, but it is somehow conquered with brave action.

I agree it is more about having healthy coping skills than bravery.
It’s the resilience factor, why do some people overcome great adversity and others fall into the bottle or commit suicide. I think everyones mental health is as variable as eye color.

I agree with @realeyes… the absence of fear is not what being courageous is about, it is in acting inspite of the fear.

It takes bravery to face life’s difficulties. Even if you have to face them, it is brave to do so.

Bravery necessarily involves choice. To choose to go against one’s instincts of self-protection, deliberately putting immediate self-interest aside because it’s the right thing to do—that’s bravery.

When life wallops someone with a horrific circumstance, it may seem like choice doesn’t really enter into the picture, but that’s not really the case. The choice becomes how one will confront this circumstance: whether one’s priority is making it easier on oneself, or doing what is best for all concerned. “Fighting” isn’t always the brave thing to do. Fighting is sometimes just the self-protective reaction. Not that that makes fighting bad—it just removes it from the category of “bravery”. Sometimes surrender is the brave thing to do. Sometimes fighting is.

I don’t know if the word brave applies to any of these situations.

What choice does a person have?

All of us would fight to survive, but those that do not make it, are not truly brave.

They are unfortunate.

Not really, because it’s not like the default is for people to kill themselves. They don’t have a choice, whether they are apathetic or full of TV show hope. It’s just an empty slogan to glorify a situation, in my opinion.

I was thinking about this, and I think I can expand on my post a bit. I think, in some cases, “brave” can be used accurately, as in the case of the woman in Connecticut who, a few years ago, had her face and hands ripped off by a berserk chimpanzee and almost lost her life. Maybe she wasn’t so “brave” to survive, but I do feel that a certain courage was indeed displayed by her being willing to be involved with the media about her survival and various treatments to try to enhance her quality of life. No matter how much was paid for by said media, I am inspired by her willingness to be a public figure even if only to promote the idea that exotic animals make dangerous pets. Whether or not it’s right, in this society a great deal of our self image is tied up in how we look. This woman will never be “normal” again.

@JilltheTooth There have been many studies that say a positive atitude can have a positive effect on the body. I do believe in the mind body connection. This particular study was specific to bad illnesses, again like cancer, and the patients were all undergoing specific medical treatment to kill the cancer. I do think a positive attitude helps people feel better in general, being in a pit of depressions never feels good. I think maybe with something like cancer you can’t will it away was maybe what they were looking at? The measures were all about actual medical findings, not a rating of how well the patient felt. I think attitude can effect a patient’s energy level, and how they report their treatment.

No, @JLeslie , I was talking about studies that dealt with specifically chemical reactions that caused a boost in immune responses, brought on by positive emotions, not some nebulous “of course you’ll feel better if you’re happy” stuff.

@JilltheTooth The studies you speak of I think make sense. I just don’t think a little boost in immune is enough to fight back a cancer tumor of the breast.

Oh, never mind

@JilltheTooth I don’t know why you are frustrated, I am agreeing with you.

This is a fantastic question. One I’ve thought about quite a lot.

“You’re so brave to be dealing with that.” What other choice do I have than to deal with it? Kill myself? Do you really think I am brave for not killing myself? That’s just depressing.

The only way it makes sense to me is that, even if you weren’t brave before, going through the experience of dealing with something very difficult often makes you brave. Adversity brings growth.

I think it refers to the different ways of coping with issues. Some people complain, whine, and moan and groan where others keep a positive attitude and are upbeat most of the time. They are considered the brave ones.