How would you attract the recipients' attention, were you a spam mail writer?
Asked by
rebbel (
35553
)
January 21st, 2012
I hate spam, and I am sure you do too.
In Gmail I hardly ever receive it, but in my old mail adress about one in every ten mails is spam.
They are always send directly to the bin by me, but sometimes I read the header of it before I do.
They are never that attractive that I am tempted to open them usually they are stating that “your neighbour girl wants you” or that “you want to buy blue pills for $2 a piece?”.
Most of the time spelled incorrectly as well.
So, imagine just for the sake of entertainment that you are the writer of spam mails, how would the header of your mails read?
Make it that alluring that the recipient can not even think of ditching it, but instead wants to open it to read the whole mail.
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11 Answers
if you hate spam as much as i do, why on earth are you asking for techniques?
@lifeflame So, imagine just for the sake of entertainment that you are the writer of spam mails, how would the header of your mails read?
Plus, I love the creativity especially in language of my fellow Jellies.
See, for example, @digitalimpression‘s (GA!) answer.
Edit: Or was that your answer for a header, @lifeflame?
“Ok…this is gonna sound weird. I’m you from the future. We really screwed up with that whole time machine idea.”
Yes this is spam and yes, you should open it. Here’s why: (go on, you know you’re dying to find out if I can make good on my boast… press…. that…. button)
I would title the email something like…
“NOT for YOU”
or
“It’s NOT Porn”. (though some filters hit that word)
or
“The Continuing Adventures of Enormous Richard”
… or something like that.
“Did you ever think of this?”
Though it’s too long for a header, I’d like to write:
“I’m an African princess writing to tell you that you’ve won 1,000,000 British Sterling and that I want you to spend only $2 for a V1AGRA so that we can do the sexy thing on my yacht where I have access via the Internet to a Canadian pharmacy.”
I would start by saying something like, “This email may come as a surprise to you…” That will quell their suspicions of why someone in a foreign country would contact a random stranger to conduct a multi-million dollar monetary transaction.
Explain that you are the deposed head of state so that they can go to CNN or Google to look up your name and confirm your story.
And explain that you live in some third-world hellhole (Nigeria is best) so to increase their confidence that your email is legit.
Include lots of misspellings of common words, and grammar errors.
Also use words strangely like “v1agra” and “ci&lis” so they’ll see how creative and clever you are.
And when you send it, make sure you CC lots of random people so that the recipient will know that the email was meant just for them personally.
“OMG! I haven’t heard from you for years!”
…or maybe,
“Are you lonely and depressed?”
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