Ever had a moment where you were Badass?
Told the boy he was yours and it worked out? Told the girl she should be with you and she agreed?
Stopped a robbery? Saved someone from a fire?
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I once stood up to a bunch of bullies beating on a nerd. I got my ass kicked, true, but I surely kicked their asses! It felt like I was a super hero and I was all the nerds hero. Seriously, standing up to those jerks made me feel BADASS.
I once walked in to a biker bar and told the biggest guy in there to give me his clothes boots and motorcycle, kicked the ever loving shit out of him in a nonchalant manner, stole his sun glasses and drove off in to the night on his bike with “bad to the bone” playing in the background.
EDIT: also when I was fat I used to have cellulite, real bad ass.
Okay. So far, I believe Tbag.
Less dramatic than above…. I was a supervisor for a youth work group. One girl was severely abused by her father and I contacted her aunt… got her cash for her paycheck… bought her a plane ticket…. snuck her out to the airport… got her to a safe place… then faced the angry mother-fucker father (who was furious to lose her income and didn’t give 2 shits about the girl) with my badge and a 9mm and a crap-load of information I was prepared to turn over to his parole officer unless he shut-the-fuck-up and let his daughter go peacefully.
(I was only a 21-year-old girl myself, at the time. But I had a Federal badge.)
Oh yea, Also I once walked away from an explosion in slow-mo without looking back at it.
When I was a bartender in a sort-of ratty little place I once waded in to break up a bar fight. I strode purposefully over to the fighting drunks, yelled “Stop” and stepped between them. They stopped fighting. Well, they kinda had to, because I stopped a roundhouse punch with my face and dropped like a stone. They were quite upset, and when I came to they tipped me very well. If the guy hadn’t been so drunk, he probably would’ve broken my jaw, as it was, my face was just fat for a week. I also acquired a reputation for being very tough. Good thing no one thought it through, or they would have realized I was just really stupid.
I was walking on the other side of the road from a pub and suddenly the door flew open and this guy flew out after it. Three bouncers followed. Grabbed him threw him to the floor so hard his head smacked on the concrete and then held him there. He was screaming and crying for them to get off him. So, I crossed the road (with my husband – not sure I would have been quite so game on my own) and yelled at them to get off him.
They had his leg pushed up behind him and his head pressed against the concrete and there were three of them holding him down. It was way over-the-top. The guy’s friend was really distressed and asking them to let him up and the guy was crying. So we stayed there, rang the police, kept telling them to let the man up and that we were witnesses and they were exerting unreasonable force until the police arrived. We then gave witness statements.
Had a police officer behaved that way, they would have been on a charge. I just can’t stand bullying and people die from treatment like that. What got me was all the people sitting outside the pub watching and saying absolutely nothing! After we went over and got involved a couple of other people walked up, but the majority of people just sat and watched.
Not sure I was ‘badass” but I couldn’t have just ignored the situation.
Well once at work, I walked into the cafeteria and I yelled out, Excalibur, HO!
That’s pretty much the extent of my badassery.
@Bellatrix Not sure I was ‘badass” but I couldn’t have just ignored the situation.
Yeah I’d say that was pretty badass. :)
How about killing someone with a knife? Is that “badass” enough?
@CaptainHarley I know you have mixed feelings. But thank you for doing what America asked at the time.
took pepperballs to the leg and still got away from the local SWAT (they thought it was a drug bust, it was just a party in what apparently was a foreclosed home).
Caught a 50 gallon drum with one hand and a foot while dangling from a rope (which though wasn’t full definitely had something of significant weight in it) when my teammates accidentally dropped it and if it had hit the ground we would have been DQ’d. (truth be told, my shoulder hated me for a good 6 months afterwards thanks to an already torn labrums).
Hit by a car with a cracked rib and walked away
Sure… however, the instances where I became a quivering pile of jello outnumber those instances where the latent badass in me took over.
All in all, I’m pretty OK with the balance.
~ I ripped the “do not remove” tags off all of my pillows…
I walked up to a beach litterer and yelled at him, “Stop littering MY beach”. He was so shocked, he picked up his empty cans and put them in a bag. Everyone around us applauded.
Does doing a keg stand on a moving boat count?
I feel like a badass all the time. No I don’t..
I used to wear a purple leather jacket when I was seven. That’s pretty BA.
Yeah, when I sing Nelly at karaoke. I feel like the king of the world.
<=== What the hell do you think that is?
@fundevogel huh? all the dairy queen stuff I know that’s not the chain restaurant are pervvy…
Not screaming or whimping out when I was giving birth naturally made me feel pretty bad ass. When there were complications, I just kept pushing. They thought they were going to have to do a C-section, but I managed and got my little stargazer out. (stargazer is when the baby starts delivering facing anterior with their chin out, instead of facing posterior with their chin tucked into their chest.) The team that had assembled said that I did more than just a good job, that it was outstanding and they felt privileged to have been there. That made me feel pretty bad-ass.
Mostly just a champ at handling bad pain. I’ve had three babies with no epidurals. Also had amniocentesis, skin lesions removed, and tons of dental work, with no anesthesia/Novocaine. And then there’s the pain meds. I can be up walking and talking, while on a dose of Morphine that was supposed to knock me out. << That is not a good thing.
I convinced a fellow student that had a severe run-away problem to stop running away, once and for all.
He had been bolting from the after-school campus daily, sometimes getting 6 blocks away before a teacher would catch him. When they did apprehend him, he would be brought back by force, kicking and screaming. This kid was always acting out, throwing huge tantrums, injuring himself. He was kinda fucked up I guess.
One day I took it upon myself to talk him into returning to campus on his own. I simply talked to him like a friend and calmed him down, told him running away wasn’t going to solve anything, and that we wouldn’t get in trouble when we returned because we’d tell them we had just been pretending to run-away that time.
I’ve always been proud of that accomplishment, considering I was only 7 years old at the time.
Funny epilogue: Twenty years later, my father dated his mother for a good three or four years. He almost became my step-brother.
I killed a live bee with a samurai sword once.
@fundevogel Considering he mentioned “team mate” in his story, I’m guessing DQ stands for ‘disqualify’.
@Qingu Killed a live bee huh? As opposed to killing a dead bee? I hear the latter is next to impossible. ~
:p
@Qingu, I love that you specify that the bee was alive when you killed it. ;)
Poor little bee. I love bees. They are very important little creatures.
I thought it was important to specify that it had the ability to dodge.
@Qingu – So… did you kill it with the sharp edge, the flat side of the blade, or the pommel?
I cut the motherfucker right in half.
I guess I should say in all fairness that this wasn’t the only time I went after a bee with a sword. Another time there was what looked like a bumblebee in the house, and it had stung my cat (who I’m presuming tried to eat it). Maybe it was because I was out for blood and revenge when I unsheathed the sword, but I wasn’t very precise and I ended up breaking a window. I forgot how I ended up actually killing it.
@Qingu It is pretty badass that your first thought on seeing a bee is “Where’s my sword?”
Not really, actually… I am scared to death of insects. Wielding a sword is simply my defense mechanism against cowardice.
@Qingu I’ll see your samurai bee slicing and raise you the time I shot a bumblebee in flight with a bb gun backwards over my shoulder from at least 5 yards away.
People! I am getting seriously disturbed by all this senseless bee killing!!! Leave the fucking bees alone! Sheesh…
@YoBob, of course it was intentional. ;-)
@Bellatrix, bees surrendered their right to live in peace when they violated the social contract by continually trying to sodomize my face.
^American bees can kill now.
Bees have enough problems on this planet with pesticides and the like without us taking to them with swords and guns. @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard bees try to sodomize your face? You must be a sexy looking flower to them!
And yes, some bees can kill but we would be in a very sad place without the rest of them. Sorry for derailing the ‘badass’ thread with my bee fetish :D
I’m a sexy looking flower to everyone.
I absolutely believe that.
@Blueroses Lol XD
@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard You got some mad skill if you managed killing a bee like that. O_O
I stomped on like two rats today…in Duke Nukem Forever. I’d swear to myself I’d never play that, either…
I make gumbo and chicken pot pie from scratch. And the chicken pot pie? In single serving ramekins. Yeah, I’m pretty badass.
Just you wait till I learn how to pickle. Nary a beet will be safe.
If we are talking ninja moves: I was chasing my 6 year old in the hall way after he had done something a bit naughty and he was heading for the stairs. I slipped on a sock laying in the hallway and in mid-air, I wrapped my legs around my kid and gently brought us both down. We landed in a heap, laughing our heads off at what it must have looked like. Watch out: It’s Ninja Mommy! We remind each other of it and start laughing.
So this kid I know has this habit of running up to people and trying to claw their face and dig their eyes out. He does this to all the other kids around him. Being the vigilante I am, I simply waited for his parents to leave, waited til he pulled the claws out, I grabbed him, turned him upside down and earth slammed him on his fucking head and said “Eat that you crouton!” Badasssss!!
Well done, @BoyWonder , you probably set back ASD a decade where that kid is concerned.
Damn right. He hasn’t clawed anything or anyone since. I just saved his folks years of therapy and bail money.
<< Does not approve of that kind of badassery.
I believe that’s the whole point of being badass. You don’t have to. Cheers.
You pile drived a little kid? O_o
sounds more punk-ass than bad ass Ø_ø
Sometimes the bully has to be clobbered.
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