How do you react when people do not respond to your important appropriate questions?

I would definitely write a letter to him asking why he requested the tapes and then has given you no feedback as long as you are sure it has been an appropriate length of time. (I get mad at people who don’t respond to my e-mails ASAP but I realize that is wrong; they have lives.) If you don’t hear back from that or don’t get a response that is helpful, send a copy of your letter and documentation of the response – or lack of one – to an administrator at the program. You are definitely entitled to feedback or an explanation of why there is none.

I’ve always had great luck, and response, with just stopping by the classroom after school. That puts teacher on alert to my emails.

@janbb
I informed them of what my son’s needs are last Summer when he started there. They also were copied on his last detailed Progress Report from school and IEP. The teacher from his school called his current teacher.
Since the New Year began I had one brief note.
I am emotional about this because people don’t always know how smart my son is. His former teacher did. Autistic people require constant motivation to do the work.
All is ask is to be update and to help.

I understand. It’s important to you and everyone to keep on track.

This was frustrating for me as well. My son with Asperger’s struggled in every area concerning schoolwork, performance, accountability. He didn’t improve and show self reliance until I stopped hovering over everything. Turns out that I was much of the problem.

It’s a tough line for a parent to walk. Setting standards and accountability are correct pursuits. But we must be careful not to hover. My son is doing much better now that I’m willing to let him breathe.

You need to – somehow – take some of your own heat out of this.

You mentioned that the teacher “requested Cd’s” and which you provided. If you didn’t ask any questions, what makes you think that the teacher is being rude and disrespectful to not provide any “feedback”? Where’s the rudeness?

I admit that a simple acknowledgement “Thank you for the CDs,” would be appropriate, but your question never said that you asked any question/s or requested any feedback. So a reasonable person would be able to conclude “things must be okay”.

If you have questions, then ask them, wait a reasonable length of time for a response, and after that follow up if necessary. From your question I can see that you’re upset, but I can’t for the life of me see why; I have to guess.

@philosopher I hope you understood that I in no way was doubting your legitimate needs. All I was saying in my parenthetical remark is that if you hadn’t heard back in two days or so, it might be worth it to wait a few more. It sounds like the teacher has been very remiss which is why I think you should pursue this until you get satisfaction.

Maybe it would be appropriate to have a meeting with the teacher and another rep of the child study team to determine a communication plan that works for all.

I move on. If you don’t like the school’s service can you transfer to another school? You can’t force good service from someone, you can just take one’s business somewhere else. If your son is in a specialized school moving on might mean anything from going to another school… to moving across the country for better service.

My son has Asperger’s I also and I had to learn to back far far away as I read from @RealEyesRealizeRealLies .... also wanted to share this with you http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vNZVV4Ciccg

@janbb
The problem is this is an adult program. Not a school. He does not write even once per week. My husband called and he never called back.
I have written and requested an update on how my son is doing?
The new Teacher watched me read and type with my son. He did better with him for a while. Than the teacher said my son was not doing it.
The new Teacher was suppose observe a Ta from my son’s former school working at home. Unfortunately the Ta resigned without notice. The new Teacher has my son’s former Teacher’s email and number. The former Teacher cares. We still speak and send emails occasionally.
Obviously the Teacher has little has little on training. At my son’s former school everyone gets hands on practical ABA Training. If he has training why would he not wish to work with me?
I am trained and I want to help. I want to be informed. Not updating me is disrespectful and mean. The Teacher could write a weekly update.
I have always been pleasant and respectful. I never implied that I know more. I never disrespected the new Teacher. I am not the type that simply accepts the Stays Quo. I can not accept being kept in the dark. I can not understand why this is asking too much.
I do appreciate everyones feedback.

@philosopher Based on those details, I’d say you need to write a letter spelling all of your concerns out.

If you are paying for this service, then you may want to look elsewhere. If not, is there a similar program available elsewhere?

@EverRose11
My son is mid functioning autistic. I have Aspergers friends and they help me. My son can not do it alone. He has no motivation without constants rewards. ABA works well.

@philosopher We’ve discussed my son in past threads/PMs (he also has Asperger’s)...my son also works best and is best motivated with rewards.

Do they use a similiar system in his current program?

Are they informing you of any rewards he’s gotten each day?

@SpatzieLover
I received one 3 line update since the new year and; a request for cd’s. He tells me nothing.
What I want is more information and the opportunity to be helpful.
I will PM you.

What an amazing story @EverRose11. My family issues are nothing close to what Carly suffers. I find it profound the therapists statement at 5:00 on the vid…

“She started to realize that by communicating, she had power over her environment”.

I believe this to be one of the fundamental truths for all humanity.

Is this a first year teacher? If so, he’s probably literally drowning in all the accommodations, adaptations, IEPs, documenting, modifications, compliance expectations, etc and probably hasn’t developed the ability to manage and communicate with parents yet. I like the fact he asked for a CD, that shows good initiative. I want to emphasize, I’m in no way excusing his lack of communication, just offering maybe a reason why he doesn’t reply. I like the idea of stopping by after school to see the teacher.

If parents stop by to see me, I really appreciate it because it gives me a better idea of what the parent wants, gives me a chance to interact with them instead of only addressing them through emails. I know from experience that emails only convey a part of what a parent is thinking, while conversing gets much more accomplished in less time, and develops rapport. Call, ask for an appointment, or just say, “I’ll be there on Wednesday to chat with you,” and see where that goes.

If the teacher’s fresh out of college, I can safely guess he wants to do well, but probably is chasing his tail while hanging upsidedown inside a gyroscope.

If it’s a program for autistic adults, are there any privacy policies that would preclude the teacher involving you? I don’t really know how it works for differently abled programs, I just know that when my kids were in (regular) college, the students got their grades, not the parents.

But it does certainly sound like a discussion with the program leaders is in order and that your concerns are legitimate.