Armageddon is upon us, what do you bring to the table?
No Zombies this time folks, but an asteroid breaks apart in the atmosphere, rains death and destruction down upon us all, wiping out civilization as we know it. Would you want to survive? If so, what skills could you offer to get you admitted to an enclave of survivors? Why should they take you in? What are you really worth when human continuity is at stake? Can you grow food? Do you hunt? Have medical skills? What?
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My husband and I have always joked that in the case of a catatsrophe we have no survival skills since no one is likely to need writers and editors!
I have a big library of books on growing food, a lot of experience with it, a lot of veggie seeds, I’m an excellent hunter, and I’m a good cook. Do I get in?
Well, the alternative is having me as an enemy—and trust me, you do not want me as your enemy.
@JilltheTooth There was a great book about this a while back. It was titled “Footfall” I think. Are you familiar with it?
@SavoirFaire : I have complex and cleverly thought out security measures in place. That line will simply get you shot.
@rebbel : Chocolate lurve will buy you a place.
@Adirondackwannabe : You’re thinking of Lucifer’s Hammer which I am rereading, which inspired the Q. Footfall is about an alien invasion, but same authors.
@JilltheTooth Yes, thanks for the correction.I’d liked both of them.
Artichokes with clarified butter.
People assume I am competent in an emergency. I have no idea why. They always have.
Last job I had was to direct hundreds of people whenever an unexpected project came up at my incredibly large firm. I asked the VP why she wanted me to run this stuff, most of my reports were twice my age.
She said, “When everybody else looks panic’d and miserable, you get this scary calm look that makes me want you in charge.”
Why would I use something as crude as an asteroid?
@ragingloli It’s @JilltheTooth‘s question and she used her imagination of how the world would end. You can choose the way you want it to end in your imagination.
I can grow veggies, but I don’t much care for them, so I wouldn’t be eating much, so that’s a plus for me.
@chyna : Big plus! producing more than you consume. Very useful!
@chyna For you carnivores I also know a lot about raising animals.
@chyna Not sure I’ve got it in me anymore either. But if it’s eat or don’t I might find it.
I can make myself available as a sexual relief vessel for anyone who is willing to give up some rations.
I can hunt, grow fruits and veggies, chop wood, build shelters, a little rusty now on my water purification skills, pull security, make fences and what not for security (Including barb and concertina wired fences), set up traps, CPR, first aid/SFR, ruck for miles with well over 40 lb of gear over rugged terrain… but I can’t fish worth a damn so you’re screwed there. (I also wash dishes, cook, and do laundry)
@King_Pariah I’m a very good fisherman. If you do the dishes and the laundry I’d bring whatever you want for fish.
I’m incredibly maternal and would make an excellent nurse. I could also help wit birthin’ babbys.
@JilltheTooth Oh, I’m not going to say the line aloud. That would be silly. I’m just saying that it would be a bad idea to turn me away.
I’m small and stronger than I look. This means that I will consume less than average and would be good with general labor tasks like collecting firewood, helping build a shelter, constructing spits to roast all that food others bring in, etc.
Also, as a writer, I could help to alleviate the boredom a bit. @marinelife and I could keep all you fine folks entertained.
I’ll pull security. I have a shit ton of guns an ammo and the skills to use them, so you guys will be safe from roving bands of cannibals and whatnot. Oh, I also know how to make fire, build shelter, fish, hunt, purify water, grow food, work wood, fix minor engine problems, and other important things. I also have a ton of actual survival gear, aside from just weapons. And I’m sexy. we will have to repopulate the planet at some point.
I am scrappy, I’m a quick learner and I am capable of getting a lot done in very little time. I am pretty good at getting people motivated and I am great at offering an ear and some encouragement when fighting the wandering hoards gets to be too much. I could catalog @Adirondackwannabe‘s books on growing food. Oh and I’ve seen at least one Mad Max movie.
For you carnivores—I’d be a good source of protein.
I could teach others gardening and animal husbandry skills, be motivational and leadership oriented, but, I’d rather be dead quite frankly. Hey all you city slickers stay off of my mountain when this all goes down and don’t even THINK about roasting my geese. haha ;-)
I would have died of a severe panic attack the moment this happened…
I’m good at organizing and hoarding, and I do make the extra effort to maintain something I think is important. I’m sure there’s a role for me in this scenario.
Short of zombies, that is.
@Symbeline Perfect, you can be in charge of organizing & hoarding the massive stash of happy brownies I am going to bake pre-apocalypse. lol
We’ll need plenty for the panic attackers. lol
Brownies? To Coloma’s!!!!!!!
Well, @SavoirFaire , a stranger showing up at the enclave with nothing to offer but an attitude of vague threats would still get shot. If you’ve got nothing to offer, you got nuthin!
@JilltheTooth I think I misunderstood the question. I didn’t realize I was supposed to say what I would tell people to convince them to accept me. I thought I was just supposed to give a reason why they should accept me.
If you’re asking how I’d convince someone, I suppose I’d point out that I’m probably as well armed as almost any other jelly (with one or two possible exceptions), trained in combat and infiltration (which will help if we have rivals with complex and cleverly thought out security measures), am not averse to cleaning (so I won’t assume the ladies will do that for me), have experience with crops and livestock (if we want to get back into any of that agriculture stuff eventually), and am competent in CPR and basic first aid (though I recommend we still look for some nurses).
I also have a wealth of philosophical knowledge for when we start asking questions like “why haven’t we all just killed ourselves?” (existentialism), “why haven’t we all just killed everyone else?” (ethics), “how are we going to rebuild society?” (political philosophy), “what are our options for solving this problem?” (logic), and “why should we keep @marinelife around?” (philosophy of art).
@SavoirFaire : Yeah, the Q was, specifically, what you would bring to the table, and what skills could you offer.
@JilltheTooth Well, that’s what I get for trying to give a clever answer. It’s back to being straightforward and boring for me!
Clever is as clever does. Grow me something chocolate to eat, and I’ll appreciate your clever.
I have this cocoa bean that I’m working on perfecting the immediate growth of without air or water…
@chyna: That made me imagine a bunch of people walking along with back packs suddenly bursting with cocoa trees…
My cell phone. Then call Bruce Willis.
Well I would be great at finding ways to generate electricity under the most extreme circumstances and my mechanical skills are very solid. As far as my hunting and fishing skills go I would probably starve to death.
I am adding to my desirability list: I also make badass tacos and badass sandwiches. Where the fuck is bob?
A map of the mountains! Hopefully someone brings a shovel.
@JilltheTooth You’re only nice to me because I feed you chocolate and rum.
Well, I used to be above-average strong for a woman, and not afraid of hard, messy, back breaking work, so there is that.
I’m also inventive. First thing I would invent is a better shovel for @WillWorkForChocolate so she can be The Protector from Awful Animals.
Awww, you ladies make me giggle. I love y’all!!!
Of course yall realize, it would be a lot more awesome if this apocalypse had zombies, so that @WillWorkForChocolate could smash em to a pulp with her shovel.
Oh hell yeah. I could tear some zombies up wit’ ma shovel!
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