Would you not go to a party to avoid the problem of gifting?

No. I would hope that I’d been invited for more than just a gift. I can’t imagine anyone I know being offended because I’d failed to bring something. Likewise, I don’t mind if others come to my parties empty-handed. These things tend to even themselves out.

I might. I talk myself out of going to such things sometimes and for that reason. Also, I don’t always feel like having fun.

@Sunny2 “I don’t always feel like having fun.” Wow. Sorry to hear that.

If it was a birthday party, and I didn’t have any notice, I would probably write a check. Otherwise, I would stop at the store and pick up a cake or cookies or something. I would not go empty handed and I would not miss a party due to the gift situation.

Yeah, totally, especially if I wasn’t that close with the person. Close friends, definitely not (especially since I tend not to be close friends with people who wouldn’t understand a financial situation), but co-workers, friendly acquaintances, someone I enjoy drinking with but not much else? Totally.

Nope. I hate shopping for myself but LOVE shopping for gifts and if I didn’t get a chance to buy something at the store, of if I know the person loves my stuff, I will whip up a basket of my bath and body products, tailored just for them.

> I don’t always feel like having fun. I can understand that perfectly, @Sunny2, assuming that “fun” is being defined in some conventional sense. I just can’t always work up an appetite for “wheee!!!!” My own idea of fun is usually quiet and focused, often solitary, and typically looks like work to someone else. No one goes to parties for what I call fun. Parties are usually work for me and nearly always exhausting.

So I may stay away for those reasons and not because of gift-giving.

No. I go and take a gift. I thought giving it away to others was a virtue on this site.

If I can’t afford to bring a gift, then I won’t go. Nothing wrong with that.

I wasn’t thinking so much about the money for the gift as…

the time it takes to find one… a trip to the mall… omigod I need a card, too? I don’t even know this person that well. Is he going to find it offensive? Is it too cheap?

That sort of inner monologue.

For an acquaintance or co worker, yes, I’d skip it. I usually just give a card for those things.
Friends- with my group, I can show up to a party with just a card and no gift at all and still be comfortable enough to enjoy everyone.

A card works just as well espeically if someone is strapped for cash and can’t afford a gift. Most times the gifts I get don’t get used so I know I am just fine with the happy birthday wish or card then I don’t feel guilty for not utilizing the gift.