I am sorry, I was thinking out loud. What could you have been saying out loud, accidentally, and to whom?

“So what have I got to do now?”...

“Where did I put that…?”

“Why are you such a fuckwit?” (about someone else and meant to be in my head)

“Why are you such a dickhead!!” (to myself and much more often than the former quote).

“I shouldn’t have eaten that?”

“Stop staring at me!” (to books I should be reading, treadmill I should be walking on or the like).

“Aww you are so cute…” (to husband, dog, cat, child…).

“And would you like me to shove a broom handle up my arse and sweep the floor too?” (to my boss).

I learned only the alphabet in sign language when I was really young. I have a habit of finger spelling everything that’s in my head when I’m nervous. It’s a lot better now, but it used to freak people out. That’s kind of like talking out loud and not realizing it.

@Judi But less dangerous. I can’t think of when I have done this.

My husband worked at a particular client’s office once per week. At this office, he shared the IT area with a fella. This fella drank a lot of soda, then would belch would say aloud (to himself) ”Pig!”

The first time my husband came home and shared the day’s happenings at this particular client, I had to stop from peeing my pants.

Apparently, this fella was widowed and was raising two teen sons by himself. We figured either a) he and his sons did this frequently at home or b) he missed his wife saying it to him so he began saying it to himself.

I saw a woman at a store once, and she was so freaking beautiful I accidentally said “Wow…......” out loud and I didn’t mean to. I’m very glad she didn’t think I was a creeper or something. We talked for a few and went our separate ways. She said if she wasn’t married I would have a chance, lol.

@marinelife , people who knew of my particular “tic” would often ask me , “What are you thinking?”
When I would ask why, they would say, “Your hands are going a million miles an hour so I assume your brain is too.”

Lately when people do things like walk in font of me when I’m looking at stuff on a grocery shelf w/o saying “excuse me” or when they don’t thank me when I hold the door for them I’ll belt out ”Excuse me” or ”You’re welcome” when I used to just think it to myself… :/

@Judi If we had a Fluther gathering, let’s be sure to chat!!

A story for y’all! Yesterday, the ex came into my classroom to drop off something for my daughter- he had a purple nose. He works with elementary kids so I thought he might’ve gotten some marker ink on his nose and said, “You have ink on your nose…” He said, “No, I have a huge pimple in my nostril and tried to pop it,” I said out loud, “Stop! TMI!! TMI!!!” He kept going… and explained that he had squeezed his nose so hard that he broke all the blood vessels on his nose, but still had the zit. I said out loud with a grin, “You idiot,” and he thought I was joking. Oops!! I didn’t mean to say that out loud. Fortunately, my cheerleaders all trooped in at that point.

I think I have said 100 times, “Get me (add expletive) out of here…” when I was married, but I don’t know if the ex ever caught it.

”Oh Boy” ....when I have to fart but fear it could be much much more.

“Shut up already, nobody cares about who cheated on who and who’s wearing which dress to what party in whatever expensive place.”
“Do you really have to be so damn mopy all the time?”
“How can you be so incredibly stupid? I can’t believe I know you.”

I’m surrounded by MADMEN!! I mean uh…sup, fooz.

If you won’t take pain killers, can I have them? It might cure me of your pain.

This was really embarrassing but in 11th grade, in math class, the boys and girls were talking about who they were taking to the ball or prom here and the guy I had a crush on at the time said the name of the girl he was going with and I said; “oh that’s great!” in a really sarcastic tone and people looked around at me. Oh my gosh… where was my brain that day?