Guys: Would you consider getting "fixed" for temporary BC?

As an older woman who had been solely responsible for contraception during my child-bearing years which is ironic considering how infertile I was and didn’t know it I applaud your commitment to the safety and health of your partner. Especially since you’ve thought ahead to the possibility that sometimes such procedures are not successfully reversed.
Good on you, @tedd
See, I don’t have slap you every time! ;-)

I personally think trying a temporary fix is a bad idea. It cannot always be reversed. As far as I know childless young men cannot get it done even if they want to, but that might be incorrect.

If your girlfriend is having bad mood swings I recommend she try a different pill. The triphasal, and other varying pill doses tend to cause the most emotional disturbances. Pills with the same dose hormone every day for 21 days, and then no hormones for seven seem to be better tolerated. Doctors lean towards giving the multidose though, because the hormones are usually given in lower dosages part of the month. I sympathasize with her, if her pills make her feel like crap, but she might be able to take pills that feel like she is taking nothing. Has she tried several? Does you know what kind she takes?

Also, she needs to go to the doctor anyway if she is sexually active, so not wanting to go to get her pill script doesn’t cut it for me.

@JLeslie Aside from your first paragraph, you glossed over the purpose of this thread entirely. Well done.

Personally I applaud you @tedd for considering this option. Like @JilltheTooth I always took responsibility for myself, although I was married I still believed that contraception was my responsibility. Like your girlfriend, I loathed being on the pill for tons of different reasons, condoms didn’t work and neither did a diaphragm or cervical cap. The idea of the ex stepping up and talking some responsibility would have been quite appealing to me. Kudos to you and I say go for it if you can!

@JLeslie there are lots of reasons women don’t want to take the pill that have nothing to do with the dosage or the hormones. @tedd stated very clearly that his woman’s issues are as much with the source of the hormones as anything else so you seem to be missing the point. Myself I didn’t like the idea of taking a pill daily when I was so rarely sexually active, plus since insurance didn’t cover it, the cost was somewhat prohibitive. It feels kind of wrong for you to call her out there at the end of your quip. It sounds as though since it is the best option at this point, she is taking the pill. Why the judgement?

As a man who was “temporarily” fixed by nature, I know what it’s like when there is not way to fix the “fix.” I think the importance of setting aside semen in a freezer can not be understated. However, that costs money, too. I think we were looking at spending $1000 a year for storage fees. This was Cornell Medical Center, so maybe it could be done more cheaply elsewhere. In any case, something to be considered when you are doing a cost benefit analysis.

Similarly, if you can’t rehook up your tubing, and if you run out of the stored semen without success (maybe your girlfriend has fertility issues, too), then you are looking at serious costs for infertility treatments. Depending on your insurance, some, none, or all of it might be covered. You would have an epididymal aspiration to try to retriever sperm from the epididymous. This is a serious operation. Your gf might have to go through an egg retrieval, which is months of hormone therapy and her own operation. This stuff can cost upwards of $15,000, depending on what medical facility you go to, and there is no guarantee of success.

Now the risk of all that might be small, but it is there. Right now, you have, as far as you know, a fully working system. Do you want to mess with that? As a person with a non-working system, I’d say no.

If there was a way to tell, before hand, I wish I could have known. Think of all those years of using protection when there was no need? Think of all the women who refused to have intercourse with me because of their fear of getting pregnant? What would they have done had they not had that fear? What might have happened in our relationships in that case? Would they have taken me more seriously? Less seriously? Think about it. You might be in that position one day if you go through with this operation.

For me, since it wasn’t my choice, it made me feel alone. Separate. In human. I could not do what every other human being could do. I couldn’t do the basic thing that makes us human: reproduce. I was an evolutionary dead end. Nothing. Nobody. Etc. I’m not defending this line of thought; just saying that’s how I felt.

This is a very serious decision and the risks, I think, are much higher than you believe. There are psychological and emotional risks. This isn’t just a medical/scientific decision. It is also a financial decision, and the savings you think you might see actually could turn into a huge expense that could make you decide not to have kids at all. If I were you, I wouldn’t do it. The notion that this is “temporary” is not one I would trust.

@tedd @SuperMouse I fully support women who prefer to not put hormones into their body for birth control or any other reason. My only point was, for now she seems to be taking BC pills, and if for now she is going to continue to do so, I hope I can help her have some relief from the side effects she experiences. I am very aganist people taking medication that causes them to feel badly, unless it is necessary because of significant health reasons.

I used “rhythm” basically my first two years od marriage, and never got pregnant, and then became pregnant the first month I tried. I have a close friends who also just avoids sex during her fertile of the month. Withdrawal is pretty reliable to actually, but you have to count on the guy always withdrawing, seems with @tedd he would be reliable. Of course all these have higher fail rates than the BC pill.

The risk to the man being left unfertile after getting fixed is much higher than a woman taking the BC pill. I do understand there are many reasons his girlfriend prefers not to take the pill. I was under the impression the BC pills are now synthetic hormones, like most thyroid pills (there is a brand that is natural from animal hormone) so the animal rights reason might be moot, not sure.

Seems everyone prefers not to use condoms.

Honestly, I would recommend a diaphram for her possibly. I would not consider a man getting fixed for a temporary reason. Women shouldn’t either in my opinion, but I think some doctors will put in the tubal blocks for women who are childless. Maybe men can get some sort of block or be fixed temporary now, and it is accepted practice? I wouldn’t do it though.

I was fixed after my second child and didn’t regret it for a second. “Everything” acted, and looked, exactly as before. Since we were in a committed relationship this small sacrifice on my part truly benefited us.
Maybe things have changed, but at the time, a reversal was quite difficult and ran the risk of failure. Find out.

@tedd I think it is fantastic that both you and your girlfriend have sat down and discussed this issue together, trying to figure out how to keep you involved in the birth control effort. I understand not wanting to take the pill on a daily basis, not really knowing what it could do to the body in the long run. However, I would be afraid to get fixed in case it was botched or for some other reason irreversible. I have been hearing about a birth control pill for men. I don’t know if it is on the market yet, if it has been tested, etc. If so, would this be something you would consider for yourself?

@chyna If a male version of the birth control pill were available, I’d have been taking it long before this relationship began.

@tedd Would you take it if it caused hormonal changes?

Male birth control soon a reality

In my case, no. I’m squeamish about getting any surgical procedures. I would just continue what I always do for BC, let her finish first, then I finish on the outside.

@LuckyGuy It would depend on what those were. I’d have to check it out if/when it became a reality and see if the side effects were worth it. But off hand, I would take it.

I’ve already thought about getting one, but I may hold out and see if this male birth control becomes successful.

[redacted]

Shit, I’m 17 and I want to do this. I hate kids.