50th high school reunion coming in the fall. A lot of old flames will be there. Should I go?

These meetings only remind one how close one is to death.

Old flames? I’d go. Old meaningless or annoying presences and reminders of one of my least favorite stages of life? I wouldn’t.

If an old flame could actually be a problem in my present life (or I in theirs) after half a century, I’d say congratulations are in order.

Jeruba, weeeeeelllllll, you just never know. If one shows up all full of alcohol or drugs, there could be a problem. I was going to flip a coin, but decided my life was worth more than a heads or tails decision. I need to give this a lot of thought.

Then, John, my guess would be that there’s more to this picture than just the prospect of meeting someone you used to date.

Just the way you said “a lot of old flames” made me think nothing could have been too serious because “a lot” means not too much time for any one person in the course of three or four high school years. One old flame that you dated for four years might seem like more of a problem.

But you’re hinting at a more complicated picture, one that we can’t see.

@john65pennington – How does your wife feel about attending in the presence of many old flames? Is she going to the reunion with you? I think her opinion is certainly more important than whatever we Jellies with our partial understanding of all the circumstances could suggest.

My high school reunion tends to coincide with my wedding anniversary (we married on Labor Day weekend—and somehow my H.S. reunion committee always picks that holiday weekend for scheduling events)...and so my husband has asked us to take a pass on attending almost every time. I can’t really blame him ..and so we just don’t attend.

I say go! It’s amazing to see how much or how little people have changed. If you think it’s too much temptation, then consider not going. But you’re the one in control. . . aren’t you?

50 years? I think the old flames are going to be pretty moth eaten, I wouldn’t worry about it. You might not even recognize them, or they you. lol
50 years is ancient history, go for amusements sake or don’t.

I have always got the impression you are an incredibly happily married man. I doubt these old flames will cause you any bother at all.

Seeing as you talk a lot about how much you love your wife I am assuming you don’t have feelings for anyone else whether they are old flames or not. I am only 25 years old but I wouldn’t feel awkward about seeing the boyfriends that I had in school again because they don’t mean anything (romantically) to me now. I would go.

Of course you should go.

50 years, so this makes you about 70. Pretty sure panties aren’t going to be flung at you.

I’m going to put a Taquito in my mouth.

I’m glad we don’t do that in my country. I wouldn’t go. Just ask yourself, would you be going because you actually want to see these people again, or because you want to keep up appearances.

Lemmimg makes a good point. Racist ex-cop isn’t really attractive. What do you gain by going?

Of course you should go. Be strong!

@johnpowell Your comment is innapropriate and defaming, I think you should go flag yourself.

Don’t go. Let sleeping dogs lie.

There’s another possible wrinkle here. John says in his Q: “I did not really expect this many people to say they were coming to my 50th high school reunion.”

Native speakers of English automatically and unconsciously distinguish between “coming” and “going” as movement toward and away from the speaker (even if we’ve largely lost it in “bring” vs. “take”). The sentence above strongly suggests that John still lives in the town where he went to high school and that the unexpected attendees are coming, not going, to the reunion. Right, John?

So there’s a possible awkwardness for him in not attending an event right in his own town, as if, instead of just passively not going, he were avoiding it for some reason. That may call for more explanation and produce more discomfort than the anticipated discomfort of attending.

Aren’t you happily still married? Why should old flames going to their high school reunion be a big deal?

Are you afraid the old sweethearts will spill the beans on some things?

Those women are pushing 70 and I doubt they look like their yearbook picture. My yearbook is about the same age and the only two people I recognize are my wife and myself. Hell, I’d go just to see if I recognized anyone or if anyone recognized me. It sounds like an interesting experiment.