Advice for newlyweds?

Remain flexible, continue to grow as individuals, make sure to communicate, never stagnate, don’t look to other relationships as examples or proof of something in yours. There will be times that will make you question everything, coast through and re-commit to one another, unless it’s a deal-breaker. If you have been monogamous this entire time, there will probably come a point when you’ll want someone else, in a cursory fashion. Discuss it, maybe open things up, maybe not, but do discuss it.

If you’ve been together for 8 years, you are an experienced couple, and should be offering advice, not soliciting it. You’ve been together since you were 11? Wow!

Well, you can’t go wrong working on communication skills. Always stay open to each other and always listen well. You can even take courses in listening. These are good things. Listen and you can communicate. Communicate well, and you will keep the marriage healthy.

Attempt to share everything 50/50. Sometimes this is not possible, but at least make the effort. Always plan something to do ahead of time. We have done this for 46 years and it makes being married a joy. She choses a place to spend the night one month and I chose it the next month. Grow up with your children, but never lose sight that you are their parents for guidance and discipline and just not one of them. We have always shared financial responsibilities together, as long as my wife worked. Sometimes, this is not possible..Make a pledge to each other that you two will stand as one person and fight together for whatever bad comes down the highway. Make sure your children have someone to answer to after school. Get them in sport or music or something that will keep their minds occupied. Wife and I still leave love notes around for each other. Its a bond that keeps on ticking and keeps on giving. Never lose respect for each other. Be there for your mate in sickness and in health, good times and bad times. Work at your marriage like a second job. This is what it takes to make it work. Keep physically fit for both. Do not run to your parents when you have a falling out. Work it out yourself. You are grown adults and have already left the nest. Only return to love your parents.

Last, but not least NEVER for get each ones birthday and your anniversary.

Talk to each other and don’t keep issues bottled up. Maximize the time you spend doing things together that you both enjoy.

I’ve never cheated on my husband and I believe he’s never cheated on me. We’ll have been married 35 years this June. Together we raised 5 kids.

We are best friends, although it hasn’t always been that way. Be ready to forgive, always. Establish appropriate boundaries, and keep them. Be generous with yourselves and each other.

There are numerous books out on questions for engaged couples to ask themselves. Here’s a link to one. http://books.google.com/books/about/1001_Questions_to_Ask_Before_You_Get_Mar.html?id=jUffRXeEahsC

Always talk to each other about what you want to do in life, your goals, the direction you are moving in, so you can support each other in those endeavors and plan for both individual desires and the needs of the couple as a unit. Talk about these things regularly, at least once a year.

Be responsible with money. Don’t buy anything you can’t afford. Pay off all credit card bills in full every month.

Also, if one of you hates doing something, the other one should do it. Taking out the trash, unloading the dishwasher, don’t fight over these stupid things.

Neither one of you should work more hours than the other, work hours include working at a job and working at home on chores. Split up the chores at home, and reevaluate that split when one of you goes part time or isn’t working, or one of you gets a promotion that requires more time at work.

When you or one of you first gets home after work, spend the first half hour happy to see each other with no demands. Smile, hug and a kiss, small talk.

Know that people usually change a lot during their 20’s, so there might be some growing pains, but I believe almost any couple can make it through if both people have integrity. If you are honest, loving, good people who are committed to the relationship you can be together forever in most cases.

I think the biggest challenge in many relationships is wanting to live in different places, or if inlaws create chaos and the married couple is not a united front. You two are now the core, the couple, your life partner.

Wishing you every happiness! :)

Use a joint checking account. Most marriages have fights over money. Mine vs. yours.
The only healthy way to handle it is Ours.

When I got married, I thought it was the final stop on a journey. “Whew, we’re finally married!”

I didn’t realize it was the first step of the real journey. :)

Don’t stop growing. By that I mean: continue your educations. Both of you.

Two weeks ago you were asking about Valentine’s Day gifts. You were both 18. Here

One week ago you asked about getting him an engagement gift? You were both 19. Here

Now you’re married? And he’s 20? Wow!

Have I missed something?

Can’t get anything past @gailcalled.

Curiouser and curiouser, as someone once said.

Treat each other with respect, never embarrass the other by putting them down in front of others, and fight naked.
edit: Oh crap. I just now read @gailcalled ‘s post. Now I feel like a sucker.

My birthday is in feb, his in January. I never said he was 19. If I did it was a mistake. He has always been a year older than me. We both decided to go to the Harris county court and get married. That wasn’t our initial plan at first but we both decided on it. A larger wedding will occurs when we are able to afford something so elaborate.

Joint checking account. For us, we put in an equal percentage of our income (because I make more $$ than she). Money is power, so you have to learn to share both. Good luck

@jazmina88
I deleted my account to make another fluther so people will no longer try to emberress me over older post.
I recently started a new life therefore I’m leaving the past in the past

But thank you to everyone for the wonderful answers

In that case, keep growing… but slow down a little, too. That advice also applies to newlyweds: you don’t have to get it all this evening or this week. Save some for later.

@Judi It’s a good question whether or not the circumstances of the asker are those of the question. You gave a good answer that people who truly are interested in the question will appreciate. We have to learn to separate the question from the questioner. People who ask questions may be prevaricating, but the information generated will still be valuable to someone. We never waste our time taking questions seriously. Maybe the asker thinks it’s a joke, but have faith. There are others who will really appreciate the honest answers you give.

OK then. I feel I must eplain the lat bit of advice.
When my hubby and I were married about a year, we went on a marriage encounter weekend. One of the presenters were an older couple who had been married nearly 50 years. The gentleman said his best piece of advice was to “fight necked.” He said no one could stay mad to long if you were both naked. For a few years after that, when my husband’s any my discussions would start to get heated, one of us would tell the other, “take off your clothes.” We would laugh and remember that we were both on the same team and we needed to find a resolution that didn’t belittle the other.