How do I get over him?
Asked by
krisvm (
6
)
February 21st, 2012
I’ve been finding it difficult to fully get over my ex boyfriend. We are still good friends, considering we were best friends before we dated. I thought I’d be okay with being friends, but it’s bringing back old memories whenever we talk. The thing is, we have a class together and we are assigned to sit together. I’ve already tried changing seats but I can’t. I don’t know what to do anymore! I feel like since I have to sit with him it will just prolong the healing process. How can I prevent that? Please help!
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7 Answers
Move on with your goals in life. Get yourself a career, your significant other will come along in due time. You don’t need another to give yourself gratification but you can be in others lives. This is to say, be with those who want to be with you, not be with those you want to be with you.
You’re stuck in a position where you need to be close to him when you are trying to be distant. So set up emotional distance while physically near.
Keep it as much as possible to a minimum when dealing with him at school. You don’t have to be cold, or mean, but if he asks about your weekend, just say it was quiet, and do not ask him about his!. Change the subject, ask about one of his classes. As much as possible, only talk about emotionally neutral topics.
If you have to work with him on a joint homework problem, meet somewhere neutral like the library or a Starbucks. And keep it to the project.
Pretty soon it will be summer vacation and you can keep completely separated.
I always found the easiest way was to move on to someone new but temperary. It helps with giving you time to get over the emotional attachment by giving you someone else to make new memories with.
I think you should take that chance to see him in a new light. Not as your ex boyfriend, but see him as a new person. Maybe after a while, you will be able to tolerate him and have set up a new sort of friendly relationship with him.
Hey, I was just watching something on YouTube about this :) .... Check this video out… even though I’m not heartbroken, I remember when I was going through a bad break up, and her words do help :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb6dx27SI8Q
You just have to suffer through it. Distance yourself from him. Your friendship might pick up again but for now you need distance. I know you feel like you are the first person to go through this but no one grows up without it happening. So, be patient and time will take care of it.
One of the things I am doing to try to get over my husband is calling him by his formal name rather than the nickname I used while we were married.
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