How did you know you were done having kids?

We have two kids, both grown. After we were married for about 3 years my wife and I decided that we were ready. She stopped birth control pills and in a couple months she was pregnant.
It happened the same way the second time. I have to tell you, the kids turned out great and our grand kids are also great.

We decided two were enough after a few sleepless nights with our second newborn.

We suspected we were done adopting children when the money we had saved to adopt our second daughter instead went to keep us afloat through a three year layoff. Few more years passed and yet another job loss and well, my daughter’s nine now – so it’s looking like she’ll be an only child forever.

I never really liked kids even when I was one.
I figured that if I didn’t have kids by 30, I never would.
I hit 30, my mind hadn’t changed, so I got clipped to settle the issue.

I had 2 kids already when I had 3 miscarriages. The third miscarriage was at 3 months along—and just about that time I realized I didn’t want another child with my then-husband and that was it.

I’d love to had a third child—I enjoy my kids and love teaching them, but I don’t think I’d have been as confident and stable in this divorce with a toddler on my hip.

Now that I’m single… I can still get pregnant, but am not crazy about the idea of taking care of an infant alone. I’m basically done due to circumstances more than inner desire.

When I realised I was pretty much on my own in raising the one and a half I have, I decided, regardless of what he tells me, what he says and what he does are two different things. The oldest, step son, is with us half the time. He has autism and can be a handful on the best of days. My youngest is 7 and would love a younger brother, but I’m past breeding age now and I never wanted to be a single mother, but there it is.

Basically my wife told me.

We have two nine year old boys and we are a very happy family. We both work and we feel that we wouldn’t be able to offer a good attentive house to a new born anymore.

Somewhere, though, I’d love to have another one.

My ex damn near died carrying and having a C section for my second, and she was forty and me forty three. She was told she wouldn’t survive another, and having two kids under age three at age 43 was enough for me. With a boy and a girl it never really came up as a question.

When my son was six and my daughter four, they asked for a younger brother and sister, they said it would be fun. They didn’t completely get that it wouldn’t happen.

When my doctor told us I’d likely die if I had another child (kidney disease). I had 3 children in four years, all while having kidney disease which got worse each time (I didn’t really understand how bad pregnancy is for people with kidney issues until I was already pregnant with the third). We had wanted 6 kids, or as many as we could afford. Looking back, I’m pretty glad we didn’t have any more. I don’t think I’d have been as good a mother to more kids than the 3 we have.

A son & a daughter seemed a very neat way to finish up on, the wife already had “one of each” from a previous marriage so, I guess she earned a rest.

Surgery put paid to any further children. I think I would have had another if it hadn’t been for that. I have three from a previous relationship. I would love to have had one with my husband. Not sure we would have, but it is something I sort of wish could have happened.

I just typed a response and removed it so I could be more precise. It boils down to this:

Have 2 kids (max). Seriously. Nobody tells us this, but it should be somewhere in the pledge of allegiance or something.

Here’s some math for you. Let’s say we are measuring units of difficulty in raising kids:

1 kids = 10 units
2 kids = 20 units
3 kids = 9,451 units

Don’t ask how I got those numbers. Believe me – they’re accurate.

Note: I have 3 kids.

@tom_g: I completely believe you.

My nephew had two kids (ages 8 and 2) and all was well. They were a joy to have around. He visited on weekends often.

Then he had a third. Oy vey. Let’s just say that now, we have them visit much less on weekends.

I have 3 as well.

I knew I was done when I began to look directly at one of them and call him by his brothers name, followed invariably by his other brother’s name, eventually landing on his actual name and wondering to myself how I could be so confused.

I thought I was done after 3. I even had my tubes tied. But then the youngest turned 7 and parenting became easier and I got the urge to have another. My hubby didn’t agree so we’ve stopped at 3.

After a couple of months with our newborn twins, I knew. Two kids is plenty.