How did you deal with the death of a friend you hadn't seen in a while?

Go out into the woods, or someplace very private, and scream and yell and generally let it all out. Then sit down somewhere and cry. No, I am not kidding. Sometimes that is really the best approach.

While I was in Vietnam, my best friend from college was killed there by a short round of American artillery. I was devastated. So I got somewhere I could be ( relatively ) alone and screamed it all out. I still miss him, but now I can remember him with fondness, not grief.

It happened to me—a close high school friend died of a heart attack at 27 and I hadn’t seen him in 10 years. I lit a candle for our memories and put it by the window, then let the candle burn itself out while I thought of the memories we shared. I sent “hugs” to the sky, hoped he knew I cared for him, and moved on.

I felt bad that I couldn’t cry and wasn’t more emotional, but I hadn’t been in his life for 10 years, and I didn’t physically notice his absence because of our already present distance. I still remember him fondly. Pay attention to your feelings and follow them—if you feel you want to cry and express your sadness outward, that’s okay, but if you want to go inward, that’s okay. Just make sure you have a support system.

Many hugs.

Cry, and cry, and get angry, and mourn your friend. And go to the service if you can, and write her family to share your grief and console them too.It’s sad and it’s hard and it happens, with no understanding of why. And feel your feelings as long as you can, don’t let anyone tell you how to feel.

basically what @CaptainHarley said: alow yourself to grieve in your own way. Once you let it all “pass through your system”, talk to friends and family about it (if possible), and, finally, move on – but never forget. Remember that you are not alone, it is the human condition – we ALL lose someone we love, people we care about, friends, family, neighbors; sooner or later we all have to cope with the pain of loss. The worst you could do is ignore it. I am sorry your friend died, and I feel for you, but the harsh truth is: only you can get yourself through this. Be strong!

How people deal with death is a very personal thing, so this is hard to give any advice on. Do what feels right to you, whether it’s crying, screaming, going on about your life, repress it, punch a sofa, talk to someone, etc. There is no right way to handle it, just what is best for you.

Consider writing her a letter telling her everything you feel. Then you can burn it and watch the smoke go upward into the sky and imagine she knows how you feel.

Allow yourself to grieve. Be kind to yourself.

It will take time for your feelings to be processed.

Honestly… When Asher died… I asked Fluther.
I can’t even remember who told me “Death is but one night to a soul. We grieve for our loss, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. Time is your best friend.” Nothing ever really stuck with me like that did.
There is no easy way to deal with these events. You just have to remember to breathe…

Let out all your emotions. Don’t bottle them up. It’s ok to cry.

Only time will heal your wounds. It took me a long time to get over my husband’s death. I’m much better now, but I still think about him, even though our marriage hadn’t been the best.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Grieve in your own way, in your own time, and remember that it will get better.

I think you should get in touch with mutual friends from high school. You can talk it all out with people who knew her, and are going through the same thing as she is.

There are many personal grieving processes—don’t be afraid to do whatever works for you!

I’m sorry. I would recommend trying to live out your life the best way you can possible with her in mind as inspiration. We arrived as dust in the universe and will become dust again in the universe.