Does it bother you when people make idle comments about you?
I have a coworker who comments on everything I do. Most of the comments are neither positive nor negative—they’re just observations. She will mention if I come in later than usual or earlier than usual, comment about anything I eat or drink (“I’m surprised to see you drinking coffee!”), comment on my clothes or hair, etc. Often enough they are perfectly nice comments (“your hair looks nice today”) but for some reason it drives me nuts.
I know that she is just being friendly and making conversation. Am I being cranky and irritable? Or is this actually a really annoying thing to do? Have you ever had someone like this in your life?
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It’s not something I have to deal with much, but I can see why it gets to you. There’s an intrusive quality to it, like you’re constantly under inspection. Even when we’re out in public, there’s still an unspoken expectation of privacy, even if it’s only the privacy of being unmonitored. Being a constant object of attention makes you feel like you should be aware of how every little thing you do will be perceived. I sure can’t blame you for finding that tiring.
She’s annoying. You should comment on her comment every time she makes a comment. Lol.
I don’t mind the comments that are actually nice, but most of them aren’t, so yea it bothers me.
“Oh, you’re eating Starburst? I thought you were ‘healthy’...”
“What do you put in your hair to make it do that?”
“Why do you talk like that? You sound white.”
Very, very annoying.
The best defense is a good offense. I’d reply to the something like the coffee comment..” What did you expect me to be drinking, Vodka?” lol
Yes, intrusive, under the microscope, crappy social skills.
I’m in process of voting another toxic personality off my island right now. haha
They’re usually not so nice in my direction, so those really bug me. But, yeah, it’d bug me to be under that kind of surveillance all the time.
@nikipedia My unsolicited advice: Never marry an Aspie ;)
Yes, comments drive me insane some days. Since you’re not married to her, I’d do either what @Coloma suggested or just plain ignore as much of it as you can.
I try to find the humor in things as best I can. If it’s impossible for you due to the annoyance factor, give one word answers. Thanks. No. Yep. Maybe.
@Blackberry Because some bitches think I clearly must give a damn if they approve of my taste in music, or my preferred color of nail polish, etc.
Yep, I agree with @SpatzieLover , normally I’d probably just blow them off or use a bit of wry humor as I mentioned, I am very aware that my tolerance is low at this time since I am dealing with a obnoxious person myself so my cheese is a bit extra sharp this week. ;-)
@Aethelflaed Hmm, I see. I would then take that opportunity to show approval for my taste in their mothers’ sexual prowess.
They’re annoying, but tolerable (unless you happen to be my mother or father)
I don’t like when people do that. Makes you think they are watching you and have all your mannerism figured out. They almost make you feel guilty in a way. They are bored in their life so they feel the need to mettle uselessly in yours.
Tell her that if you wanted a narrator for your life, you would have hired Morgan Freeman or Sam Elliot.
There was a girl in my office that did that. Is that pizza? No, it’s steak. Did you change your hair color? No, black is the new blonde. Just really ridiculous stuff. We all started to just look at her with no comment back. It took a while, but she finally stopped.
Yes, it can become really annoying. It’s critical, even if they say it’s not. I have one of those types of people in my house right now until next week- he’s been there for 8 weeks and I am ready use him as a target for knife throwing practice.
Can you both make a pointed remark and use a light-hearted tone?
“Gee, I sometimes feel you have me under a microscope.”
One of my friends does this and I get a little annoyed with it sometimes.
I know he’s not trying to be that way, so I try to be conversational about it but then I’m like “What are you talking about?” or “Obviously I’m wearing my green hoodie!” I don’t see him in person a whole lot, handful of times a year, so I avoid the worst of it.
It’s bothersome but I think it is best left alone.
She probably thinks she’s just being sociable, unfortunately. Could you try, “Every day, you make comments about something I’m doing or wearing and I feel as if you’re checking me out. It makes me feel self-conscious.” Let her respond and then suggest you talk about the weather or something that isn’t personal. She may get upset, but she may get off your back.
Worth a try.
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