How difficult is it for you to sleep well when your S/O is gone?

I’ve always slept better alone, anyway. If I ever plan on living with another woman, I need the largest mattress I can get to have my space if I want it.

I sleep so much better without my wife.

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It use to have a hard time sleeping if he wasn’t there, but after adjusting to it while he was deployed for a year, now I can sleep either way. I do sleep better when he’s there though.

I have to read myself to sleep. It just doesn’t seem right to have him not be there.

This very rarely happens, but when it does I shit my pants.
I mean, the kids will be in their rooms, tucked up nice & safe, but i’m on high alert.
If a mouse trods on a pebble several blocks away i’m up….“whassat, what the fuck’s that noise!?!
Yes that’s right, i’m a right macho tw@!

@Blackberry Ahhh, space is not an issue for us. We’ve got a king-sized bed, so we both have room to flail around in the middle of the night, LOL. The kids even squeeze into bed with us when it’s storming. Four people in one bed. :D

@ucme LOL! I do the same thing, except it’s usually a coyote taking a pee more than two miles away that wakes me.

@WillWorkForChocolate Yeah, but i’m supposed to be the man of the house. How are these kids meant to look up to me when i’m scared of a fucking mouse…..sobs, whimper! ;¬}

Tell them you can’t find your big girl panties. :D

In the rare times we are apart now, we both have trouble sleeping without the other.

By now they’ve been pulled over my soft head.

Lately, I’ve been going to bed before her, and not having trouble falling asleep without her there. I don’t notice when she gets in bed and I don’t notice when she wakes up before me. It’s like practice for when she’s away, which will be for a week when she takes our daughter on spring break. I get our son, the week prior to that. So we’ll actually have two weeks not sleeping together (except one night in between). That should be interesting.

I actually sleep better without my wife. She consistently steals the covers, talks loudly in her sleep, and flails around like an epileptic walrus.

I do find her snoring oddly soothing though.

It really depends on how many days. Usually one or two nights is no problem but about the third day, I start to notice all the sounds of the night.
As for my husband, it only takes him one night to be thrown off. He says he keeps waking up at different times during the night and has a hard time falling back to sleep.

I sleep like a baby.

@cprevite an epileptic walrus? Wow!
My adoring spouse has moderately severe sleep apnea. He actually can’t snore-because he has had his uvula removed and his palate raised. However, he gasps when he needs a “restart” to breathe. I feel worse for him, because his sleep patterns are not deep enough to give him sound sleep. I don’t like leaving him alone. I’m afraid he’ll stop. 25 years into this marriage-I’d say I have a little invested. I actually sleep better with him beside me.

@annewilliams5: Hey now. I adore that epileptic walrus.

As long as she doesn’t leave the door open when she leaves, I’m fine, mostly.

@cprevite I adore my sleep deprived hubby.

My husband and I recently realized that we actually sleep better apart. He’s a cover/pillow/bed hog, and I snore. Since we don’t have heat in the bedroom (just a tiny space heater), I’ve been sleeping downstairs on the couch because the heat down there helps my pain levels. We are seriously considering going the separate bedroom route at some point, but we both feel weird about that. Like it’s something only really old-fashioned people do.

@WillWorkForChocolate I have to say that I’ve heard many a way to put a man down-but that one is priceless! Can I use it?

Before I couldn’t sleep without my boyfriend to save my life.
But, after a week apart, I could manage without him, but I prefer for him to be there.

Like you, when it happens (very rare these days), it feels very strange and I sleep more lightly.

hmmmmm…..

Hmmmm…?

yeah – since S/O moved out three months ago.

It’s interesting that most of the women are saying they sleep worse and the men are saying they sleep better?

I hope you are sleeping well little penguin. I remember when I was in a similar place to you and it took a while but then I got totally used to it and actually liked my own space. It took a while to get used to having someone there again.

My parents have slept separately for years. They have different requirements for sleeping arrangements (particularly my mum since she has a bad back, wakes up at the drop of a pin, and needs the room to be pitch black.) she takes the couch downstairs (it’s a comfy couch, I swear!) while my dad remains in their bedroom.

My significant other and I are not completely moved in, but I do have trouble sleeping more often when I stay at his place than while at home. In general, we’re both able to sleep comfortably together and are more than willing to make accommodations for the other.

I sleep very well when I am alone. It is so rare though!! I love him but I enjoy having the house to myself on those rare occasions when he is away for the night. Which is not to say I don’t miss him. I do. well, at least a little….But I play my music loud (he hates that!! ) I eat shrimp for dinner or something he doesn’t like that I only ever have in restaurants, I stay up late with full control over the fuckin’ remote, and then I sleep like a baby!

I sleep like a baby either way. I get the bed all to myself for the weekend and if I find out otherwise I will give an update.

I always sleep better alone unless I take a sleep med (which I often do) and then it makes no diff. I have no idea whether she is there or not.

Hell, I’m so exhausted, nothing affects me when I finally crawl into bed. I miss him dearly though, ‘cause he sleeps on top of me.

I have to admit that I love that moment when I get into bed and snuggle up close to him, and usually he will reach out and fold me into his arms….I cannot sleep that way all night hough, as good as it feels.

@Bellatrix Not worse, not better – just different.

Oh lord, after sleeping alone and being single the last 9 years, minus a few explorations…oh god yes..alone is the only way. lol I love my bed, it is all MINE! :-)

Oddly enough..I don’t sleep well without my husband. I travel a great deal for work, and he travels a bit, too, so you’d think I’d get used to sleeping alone but I haven’t.
I always sleep for crap the first night in any hotel bed (have a hard time falling asleep no matter how tired I am)..but do a bit better each night thereafter. (Probably due to sheer exhaustion.)

When he’s gone on a work trip I usually let one of my kids sleep in our bed (usually my youngest child) and that helps a bit. Otherwise I have trouble falling asleep. I’m sure this is purely psychological..but I sleep soooo much better with my husband. I also wake up a lot more in the night when he’s not home and get scared by noises outside a bit. <sigh> My inner feminist cringes at this admission..but it’s true.

@geeky_mama Haha, one of my kids also usually ends up in my bed when my husband is gone. It does help a bit, but it’s still not the same.

Snuggling puts me to sleep so I sleep more soundly when I’m with someone. But I sleep just fine alone too, it’s just not quite as cozy. Actually, scratch that, IT IS. I now sleep in my sleeping bag among many other blankets and such jazz, and god it is like a little cocoon. I love it.

I sleep way better without my boyfriend. (He snores really, really loud.) I’ve grown to enjoy sleeping on the couch. I’m sure my boyfriend would prefer otherwise, but he’s not the one with a train horn in his ear.

My mother and step-dad have had separate bedrooms for years. It works for them. They both get the temperature the way they like it, have as much space to stretch out as they want, and his snoring won’t keep her up all night.

We sleep alone because neither of us is a good sleeper. But we always have a snuggle time in the morning.

I sleep better when I’m alone. He snores.

Slept like a baby but gosh I did miss the warmth of her body….it is still frickin cold out! Plus it was way too quiet this am. Just me and the dog.

I wouldn’t really call her my girlfriend/partner/or significant other but there is someone I love and when she spends the night she sleeps in my bed with me and the other way around. But when she’s not there the rest of the bed feels empty.

Graywolf367 Reminds me of some Joni Mitchell lyrics
“But when he’s gone
Me and them lonesome blues collide
The bed’s too big
The frying pan’s too wide…”
My Old Man is the song

Thanks Earthgirl

Graywolf367 Your welcome. Just relaying a little gem a friend of mine pointed out to me years ago. He’s a poet and found those lines particularly witty and a little humorous. He still writes poetry and I still think of him every time I hear those lines.

Difficult. I toss and turn until sleep comes. My husband is still likeable ;P