How do you encourage yourself to keep moving when you don't see your own value?

You look at your value reflected back from the eyes of those who love you.

because the alternatives are so awful. You just make yourself find one thing that you can face doing and the success at that task leads on to others. believe me, I know whereof I speak. (Sorry for the lack of caps – on iPad while fixing my computer.)

Get a copy of The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren to get a handle on your worth, my friend. I urge you.

If you went to a psychiatrist and allowed him/her to help you you both would learn things that would help the rest of humanity.

You could do volunteer work. Somebody always needs somebody for something.

We are all on this world for only a short time. Have as much fun as you know how and don’t make it shorter than it is.

@Rock2 I think you mean psychologist

Anyway, I try to find one thing that has value to me whether it be a person, a goal, an ideal, and push myself forward for that because they, it, she, he, etc are/is worth it. For me it’s a person and making them sad or whatnot, it’s not worth to commit to one of the alternatives and see that person become disappointed and sad.

You have to remember to be as kind to yourself as you are to others. I know you are a kind person. You know how to help others. Why should you be less kind to yourself?

You go see your psychiatrist, take some meds and accept that you have a disorder.

Good advice above especially the advice about getting help and accepting you need it.

Until you find that ‘happy place’ within you though, fake it until you make it is not a bad option. Just put a brave face on and keep going. I think volunteering is very valuable too. When I look at some of the problems other people are facing, mine seem so insignificant usually.

@Jude Watching the answers as avidly as I imagine you must be . . .

Well, in the words of a great philosopher named The Beatles…

And any time you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain
Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

We all love you here, dear!

Seriously, I enjoy reading your posts because you are not afraid to expose yourself a bit and you are curious and not afraid to ask advice. I see good things in your future.

While I’d have probably tried to sugarcoat it a bit, I entirely agree with @tinyfaery. When in a healthy state of mind, people do not feel this way. Feeling like you have no value is a huge symptom of depression. Accept that you have it, that you are unlikely to be able to change it on your own, and go get help. The sooner the better. <3

Sounds like you’re in a tough place right now. Maybe sitting somewhere, just wondering… no, perhaps just knowing there isn’t anything worthwhile about you. And everyone here hears that and chimes in to tell you they think you are worthwhile and they like you.

I’m sure you’ve heard my story before. If you’re like me, you read this stuff and it just doesn’t make any sense. How could anyone really like you, you might be asking yourself. You probably run through ten different reasons why they shouldn’t and then conclude they are lying just to make you feel better.

Oh shit. This is not a good way for me to think. You know, for a long time now, I’ve convinced myself to believe people when they say nice things about me, but I can feel that ability sitting so fragilely inside me and it would take the least excuse for me to give in and get back into tear myself apart mode.

But I’m not going to do that, even though the way I got here, to a place where I could allow myself to think a couple of nice things about myself, is by giving into the despair.

Back then, I couldn’t fight it. I tried, and then I failed, and that made it worse, because I’d beat myself up for not finding a way to stay ok. But at some point I gave up. I couldn’t encourage myself. I couldn’t keep myself going. And I collapsed, mentally speaking. I let myself be depressed and most importantly, I stopped beating myself up for not being able to stop it.

What happened was a kind of sense of relief. Not having to fight to keep moving meant that all of a sudden I had a lot more energy. I had all that energy I had been using to try to fight to save myself and failing and then beating myself up for failing. That was a lot of energy. Now, instead of throwing it away in a useless battle, I threw in the towel on the battle, and had all that energy left over for something else.

Amazingly, I started feeling better once I gave myself permission to be a failure. It seemed like my depression had been feeding off all my efforts to fight it, and once I stopped fighting it, it stopped having any new power to feed off of. I started feeling better, and I also had more energy to work on positive things.

I lost my battle and in losing it, somehow I got better. It no longer mattered that I should fight depression. It was irrelevant. I had lost.

THe other thing that happened was that the issue of my own worth also became irrelevant. I conceded that I was worthless. There was no reason anyone should find anything of value in me. Issue settled. Time to move on.

SO I moved on. I am still worthless, but I don’t think that’s important any more. Irrelevant. My job is to do what I can—to make my own worthless contributions not out of any hope that anyone will confirm that I might be doing something valuable, but just because that’s what I do. I want to try to help even if I have nothing to offer. The attempt is better than doing nothing. If I fail, I’m no worse off than I already am. And maybe I will succeed in some small way, but really, I don’t care. I’m already beyond that.

It’s just… interesting. I like to try. Try to do something good. It’s practice. I know nothing I do is really any good, but it’s worth practicing. Some day (probably never, but that’s not the point) I might do something useful, but until then, it is worth practicing. I may be worth nothing, but it is worth practicing.

I know, it’s long and probably perverse, but it allows me to move forward without having to feel the pressure to prove anything. I assume I am worthless and in doing that, the question is moot. Other concerns become important: such as doing something that matters. And that’s what I try to do, even while not thinking about whether it matters or not. The doing is the point, not the evaluation of the doing. I do what I choose to do.That is the joy and the meaning for me, and that is how I keep moving forward.. It works best when I am doing things for others. In a way, it is all for others, even if it is for myself. But that’s another complicated thing and I’ve gone on too long already.

You think about the people around you who care about you more than you realize.
You look at the joy of good weather, laughter, music, art, food, dance, intimacy, intellect and the challenges you have already overcome.
You talk to people and find your suffering is unique or isolated.
You share life.
;)....feeling hallmark-y today

@wundayatta, so what you are essentially saying, is accept it all and live in hope of things possibly changing?

Once again I have to say that it is with great admiration for all of you that I read your answers, I really and truly don’t think any psychologist could put things together better than all the collective’s individual experiences and life lessons. The Fluther group certainly makes dull days seem more purposeful from where I’m sitting in my little corner.

@King Pariah

I meant what I said.

As for what you said, well, I don’t understand what you said.

@wundayatta
You sound like you are the one who is worried about being worthless.

Haven’t read the above answers, but my answer is, my while life I do things I don’t feel like doing. I just do. I think to myself, I just have to get through the next few hours, and then I can rest again. I guess chopping life and time into pieces is what helps. Or, what makes it possible to keep going. Then eventually, if we are lucky, we have moments, months, years, that are filled with joy and love for life. It’s those moments that help us get through the crap.

@ZEPHYRA First of all, this is just my experience. Others may gain something from it or not. If there’s one thing I know about mental health issues—everyone is different. So please don’t try to generalize from what I say. If it helps you, great. Otherwise, there are no lessons.

Also, I’m not sure I’d describe my approach as hope. I do think hope is somehow always there, although I can’t explain why. It makes no sense to me to be hopeful. Yet I am.

@Rock2 I used to worry about being worthless and then I accepted it. I am worthless and it doesn’t matter. Worth is not a helpful concept when thinking about myself. So I just kind of notice that I’m feeling worthless and let that go. It has nothing to do with what I want to do in life.

It’s not that simple, of course. But that’s the theory. I often have moment where I wish I was worth something, and then I have to go through these complicated mental gymnastics to remind myself again why there is nothing to be gained from trying to be worthy. It is a fools errand. I need to divorce myself from any desires in that direction. It works better when it doesn’t matter. When I free myself from that concern, I can focus on doing things without as much concern about what it gives me. It doesn’t matter if I achieve what I hope to. I can work for my values and goals without beating myself up about whether I make progress or achieve anything. It is enough to try. I can feel good about trying to live according to my values even if I don’t accomplish what I was hoping or expecting to accomplish. Trying is good enough, so long as it is an honest try. oops, see the self-judgment always wants to wiggle in.

This philosophy is hard won, for me. I never could have found it without fluther. Fluther allowed me to struggle with mental illness in safety, knowing that no one knows who I am in real life, and no one can tell my boss or my parents or whatever. No one can get me into trouble by stigmatizing me for having a brain that doesn’t work the same as other people’s.

@wundayatta
Just remember that some day the sun will go white dwarf, expand and break down every molecule on earth into it’s subatomic particles. However, don’t worry about that so much because civilization will probably be wiped out by some cosmic event long before that. It’s happened before.

Remember matter is never destroyed, however it can be converted into energy and vice versa.

You are invincible as long as you are alive.

Life is short, don’t make it shorter. What’s the hurry anyway.

Who is going to win the March madness?

I wouldn’t mind being around for the heat death of the universe. I want to see what will happen next.

As to March madness—well, there’s no office pool, so I haven’t a clue as to who is involved.

When you find out, please let me know..?

Your true inner value comes from within, not outside help. Also, not everybody has others who care about or love them, through little fault of their own. Being too dependent upon others for how we perceive and value ourselves is not a good thing since anybody can turn on you at any time.

@marinelife…what do you do if you get no such reflections of love from those who should be close to you? (family, etc.)