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flutherother's avatar

Can you imagine a news story from thirty years in the future?

Asked by flutherother (34927points) March 5th, 2012

Assuming newspapers still exist what story would you expect to read in thirty years time?

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11 Answers

janbb's avatar

Republican Candidate for President Still Not Settled!

rebbel's avatar

“Scientists around the world are ringing alarm bells about global warming.”
Politicians around the world still don’t pay attention.

“Britney Spears grandma for the fourth time.”
And releases her thirteenth album, aiming one more time for comeback.

“iPad 25 to hit the market June 2042.”
Rumours are that it will sport Flash.

wundayatta's avatar

Hadron collider finally collides with Hadrons!
Black hole appears in Switzerland!

Spanish made “official” language of United States.
Alaskan secessionists welcome inflow of radical Christians

Wood is the new steel!
President orders that all automobiles be made of 75% wood by 2050

ragingloli's avatar

“Last part of Manhattan now swallowed by the sea. Republicans still claim it is a conspiracy by environmentalists.
In other news, Rick Santorum mysteriously drowned after travelling to New York. Eyewitnesses report he was trying to breath underwater.”

“Last wild specimen of the ape species “homo sapiens” successfully hunted down and killed. World President Chairman Meow declares Global Holiday in response.”

“A minor hindrance to full scale colonisation efforts of planet 5348-Gamma-Eridonis 3 was successfully eliminated after the last stronghold of the formerly dominant indigenous vermin species, which called themselves “humans”, was vapourised via orbital bombardement. Last stragglers are expected to be apprehended and deported to slave labour asteroid Delta 452 in the Alpha Centauri system within 12 galactic standard days.”

“World War 3 finally ended as US American citizens welcomed their German liberators in Washington DC. American Dictator and Pope of the Church of America, Rick Santorum, as well as his ministers, were found dead in their bunker. Cause of death is suspected to be suicide. American military leaders were also apprehended and are expected to be put on trial for using nuclear weapons and other war crimes.”

LuckyGuy's avatar

Peace talks between Israel and Palestinians to begin in Spring.

Waste from Iranian nuclear reactor found leaching into Red Sea.

ucme's avatar

Finally a scotsman buys an englishman a pint of beer & no moths fly out of his wallet!”
A far fetched scenario, but you never know ;¬}

Brian1946's avatar

World’s oldest proponent of sophomoric humor and the 10th-oldest jelly, finally reaches 20K.

After 32 years at Fluther, 95-years old Brian1946 has become the 1 millionth jelly to acquire 20000 lurve. ;-D

Sunny2's avatar

“This is CNN. We are still trying to reach our station in Chicago. I thought I had them for a minute there. . .Hello? Come in. Come in. To recap, there was an enormous explosion and a a huge cloud that interrupted contact with the whole city of Chicago. This was reported from a plane over Indiana which witnessed the event from the air. Wait. I have Elkhart, Indiana on the line. Hello? I can’t quite hear you. He says. . .he says it’s. . . it’s . . . . Armag. .ed d . . on.

gasman's avatar

Chicago Cubs Win World Series!

ZEPHYRA's avatar

BREAKING NEWS….. FLUTHER COMMUNITY TAKES OVER THE EARTH….

Berserker's avatar

2043; the Aztecs predict the end of the world at this date.

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